كانت ايام حرب غزة كتير عصيبة السنة الماضية. كان الغضب بيعترم الشوارع الأردنية. كان عندنا شعور بالقهر و الظلم. و عرفنا انه الشعب الفلسطيني كان ضحية للعبه سياسيه قذرة، متعلقة بالإنتخابات الإسرائيلية

نحنا اخترنا نجمع أكل و ملابس لأهل غزة. و يمكن الطريقة اللي اشتغلنا فيها هي دليل على انه مقاومتنا هي مقاومة الضعفاء! (رح أكتب أكتر عن نظرية مقاومة الضعفاء بمقال تاني بس مش مهم. وضعنا اعلان على حبر انه اللي بحب يتبرع، بيقدر يلاقينا عند كوزمو.) و اتفقنا ننقل الأغراض بسيارة نسيم لبيته، و نطلب من مجموعة من اصحابنا يساعدونا، ونسهر طول الليل نرتبهم بأكياس.

و يا ليلي

اللي ما حسبناه، هو قوة الضعفاء اذا اجتمعوا. مئات الناس اذا مش الاف جاؤا يتبرعوا بأكل و ملابس، و عشرات الناس ما بنعرفهم من الشارع و قفوا يحملوا معنا أغراض و يساعدونا بتحميل الأغراض.

استبدلنا سيارة نسيم ب16 شاحنة من ارامكس، و الأكياس بكراتين من نقل. و زدنا على مجموعة اصحابنا مئات من المتطوعين استبدلنا ليلة السهرة للشغل بثلاثة أسابيع من السهرات، و بيت نسيم بمستودع على طريق المطار. كنا كتير ننبسط لما نعرف انه الغرض اللي بنترتبه اليوم، بعد بيومين بصير بغزة. كيف بنعرف؟ كنا نعلّم الأغراض، و الناس يتركوا رسائل دعم في الكراتين ، و بطريقة أو بتانية قدرنا نتصل بالشخص المسؤول عن استلام المساعدات بغزة و بتأكد.

بس بعدين بدأ النهب على الطريق و انحرق المستودع… و عشان هيك انا بسميها مقاومة الضعفاء! بس مرة تانية مش مهم… المهم انه كان في حراك في الشارع الأردني.

و بمناسبة الحديث عن الحراك، هذه مجموعة من الفيديوهات من ايام غزة مأخوذة عن من الأردن

11 كانون الثاني هذه كانت تظاهرة فنية، تضمنت برنامج كتير مؤثر فيه موسيقى بالات مختلفة، و شعر بالعربي و الإنجليزي.

9 كانون الثاني – هذي في الرابية، اقرب مكان قدروا المتظاهرين يقربوا للسفارة الإسرائيلية. قرروا انه بدهم يعملوا

اعتصام مفتوح لحد ما يطلع السفير عن الأرض الأردنية

8 كانون الثاني- اعتصام للقوى الشبابية والطلابية أمام المفوضية الأوروبية احتجاجاً على موقفها من الهجوم على غزة

هذه المظاهرة بدأت عند الدوار الرابع و انتهت عند السفارة المصرية. كان الموضوع غضب على مصر عشان معبر رفح. بس الأهم من هيك هو انة الرئيس المصري كان في اجتماعات مع اسرائيل قبل الهجوم

هذه أنا بسميها مظاهرة الفيس بوك، كانت في الشميساني، بشارع الثقافة و ضمت المظاهرة رسامين و فنانين. هم ساعدوا في تحضير اللافتات اللي حملوها المتظاهرين. كانت المظاهرة كتير خلاقة

  It took me a long time to convince Um Yazan to write about her problem.  She finally did.  You can read the article on 7iber.

I came across this lady in one of the lectures that have been organized through the project Citizen in my City project, in one of the local communities. I won’t mention what community, because she specifically asked me to keep all these details confidential.

I will go back to Um Yazan in a bit, but now, I will give a brief about the lecture, so that people understand the background.

The lecture was about violence in general. However, the lecturer spoke a lot about sexual harassment.  She was explaining to parents why their kids would not approach them if they were facing issues of this sort in their lives. 

“ if your kids tell you they did bad in an exam, and your reaction was to take the slipper and throw at it them, they would start thinking that if my mom did this with something silly, what would she do with there is something shameful involved?”

I thought she had a good point there. She encouraged women to get their children to talk to them, even if what they is childish and silly. This will increase the chances of children talking…. I am not sure how true this is… but I think children can slip when they are younger… however when they get older, it becomes more and more difficult to talk about things like that with parents…. but Ya3ni… it does not harm. On the contrary it definitely helps.

Um Yazan’s Predicament

Um Yazan happened to be in one of those lectures… she went blank in the middle of the lecture… she approached the lecturer afterwards in a panic mode… she had realized what was happening to her son yazan (an assumed name). 

For the longest time, she was not sure what to do about the change in his behaviour.  He stopped eating, became edgy and angry and became aggressive with his siblings… but what puzzled her most was his persistence on wearing very shabby clothes! She knew something was wrong but could never decipher the signs.

When she talked to the lecturer, she started crying helplessly… she said that she suspected something bad was happening to her son… she could not even bring herself to give it a name. ..

After that, things moved quickly, she launched an investigation at the school with the support of the right channels, and did what was needed…

It turned out that her son was being harassed by an older student … (a kid himself), whom in turn was being harassed by someone older somewhere in his own neighbourhood! The story was really shocking! Victims turn into predators… I think maybe it is a normal human outcome! And honestly, who know maybe that would have been Yazan’s future?

 Yazan is being helped by a counsellor now… and the other kid too…everyone is a victim in this story… and hopefully they will start leading normal lives now.

 Going public?

As I was involved in the story from the beginning, I was trying to convince um Yazan to go public with the story. Bring the issue into the spot light… but she refused stubbornly…

Honestly she had a good point.

 She explained that they come from a very conservative background. If this was happening to a girl, it would be a shame and end of story. But if it is a boy… (and here is the surprise)  it is double shame! He will be accused of not being a real man (which is silly, since he is only 11), he will start being bullied in the street and in the school… but worse… the family will start abusing them… I don’t even know where to start if I want to explain the complexities there… sisters in law, brother in law, cousins… competition, jealousy, favouritism, inheritance, gossip…

ya3ni… going public will only open Pandora’s box.

Heavy negotiations took place between her and her husband… she was angry and wanted to do something….the husband agreed to seek help, but refused to go public… his concern was that this will stigmatize their son. His opinion was that now that the boy is being treated, khalas they can move to a different neighbourhood, change schools, and start fresh. Basically, give the boy a chance to put this in the past and move on….

But if they went public…this will be the most important thing about their son forever…. and since their community is very small, he will never be anonymous, he will always be remembered as the boy who was harassed at school.

Yazan’s parents explained…that their duty is to help their son and not save whole world…they won’t be able to, they said realistically….

This is why I appreciate her writing the article.

I sympathize with them, and with the hundreds of families who suffer from similar issues in silence…

Why am I saying this?

I got in a car accident couple of weeks ago. I was at a crossroad. I did not see the other car coming. In the middle of the crossing this woman bumped into me… I parked the car and got down to check the damage…

Miracle of miracles… my car was intact…

Hers…well the number fell off… but nothing else was visible to the naked eye.

The lady walked towards me… I have a good inkling about breeds of women, and one glance, told me that this one was the vicious sort, or at least one who will get nasty if she has to. I heard myself saying… oh boy!! 

She did not even wait to make it to my car to start yelling in a way that did not go at all with her perfectly respectable outfit and elaborate coiffure!

“Don’t you have eyes? Are you blind?  She said in a high pitched voice”

I decided to adopt hibbz advice about rising above things, and said calmly:

“Hamdillah 3ala il salameh!”

She was taken aback. Her voice went down one octave.

She asked me if I wanted to call someone, and I suggested calling the police.  But she said that she did not have time, and that I should give her my number. She would call someone to check what the damage was, and then proceed from there… I gave her my number  

BIG MISTAKE…

And while the lady was calling someone… I had done my own checking… I called the police.  They told me that I should not have assumed it was my fault… Even if she had the right of way, she might have been speeding…and actually she might have not had the right of way at all, especially that I was already in the middle of the crossing when she bumped into me. Whoever answered me, told me that when someone leaves the scene, they automatically forfeit their right!

Now I felt strong.

True to my expectations, she called the next day:

“Do you remember me? I am the women you hit… do you remember how you smashed my car? Well I asked my garage, and they want me to pay around 450 JDs to fix the damage you caused, plus 150 for the labourer and 100 for each day the car stays in the garage! Which is another 300…”

I was speechless!

Beside the fact this was a horrendously big amount… I was surprised that the lady felt I was a total idiot! She really expected me to hand her 900 Jds to put the number back!!

I told her coldly that I knew a place at Duwar Al Wa7a. They would put back her number for 1 JD! she did not like that at all and started shouting again (She loves shouting)  She was a total rada7a!

The story ended  son after… I told her her what the police told me, and she yelled some more about me having no roots, no origins, no values and no proper upbringing… she told me that she was testing me and I failed miserably… she then hung up on me, and never took my calls after that…

This incident makes me think that almost every encounter in life depends on our ability to capture other people’s attention.  This lady might have thought she was being assertive, when in reality she was being aggressive and rude.  This surprises me on several levels… especially that she was the one who wanted something from me, and she could have gotten it, had she been a little more agreeable…

The thing is, in general, women in Jordan are cultured to be submissive… however, by going through life’s twists and turns, they make the shift into becoming aggressive bitches.  They live their lives without really ever finding a balance… a lot of people get hurt in the process… but who cares, sah?

One last note, there is a big difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness…

Assertiveness is a skill that helps us to communicate clearly and with confidence, while still acknowledging the needs of others.  Aggressiveness on the other hand is being disagreeable, argumentative, rude and uncompromising… I wonder why in Jordan, a lot of women faile to be assertive, but succeed in being aggressive?

On a different note, I am reading my third Murakami book… this one is called Kafka on the shore… it is quite interesting… this guy likes fantasy, and i like it too…

It is usually a pleasure to talk to schools kids. They are smart, funny and honest….this statement comes as a result of the workshop I was asked to give about violence in schools. The whole thing was organized by one of the workers that support us in the project “Citizen in my City“. A gem of a worker really… he is seriously the most useful person.

It is seldom that I pass a nuit blanche, but the night before the workshop, it seemed like settling world’s  troubles was easier than coming up with a creative idea that would keep my 50 young ladies engaged. I realize that the best-equipped adult mind in the world, can’t cope with the peculiar class of questions that originate in a thirteen-year girl’s brain.

The workshop was great. The girls were divided into five groups. Each representing a category in the educational process…. girls, boys, teachers, parents and ministry of education. I read them some of the typical opinions that average citizens in Jordan have, and asked them to comment on them within their groups…. they surprised me… I thought about “the worker”, who was panicking before the session and told me

If you want we can tell them what to say….

I was amused, and asked him to have faith in the brains of 13 year old girls…

Before the workshop, family protection unit gave the girls a lecture, and even though the person who spoke was very charming and smooth… her ideas were scary… highly moral, conservative and self righteous….

Among the things she said is that there is no rape in this country, no harassment, this happens abroad… in our country women are willing participants in the crimes against them… this made me think of the 10+ girls that I work with, and who suffer severe depression because close male kin harass them repeatedly and they have nowhere to go or no one to tell.  I thought of the 100+ women I know and who are so used to being abused; they no longer recognize it as abuse…

I am shocked at how conservative the public opinion is… lately I have been slapped time after time with the morality… Jordanians simply hold each other to higher standards… we are expected to be angels… even though we are all simply humans… it is scary!

On the positive side….  She gave a lot of information, which was wonderful,  as the girls hammered her with all kinds of weird scenarios revolving around sexual abuse… funny, eh?

Anyway… I realize this is a charming topic for Eid… so I will leave you with the video… I think it is cute… by the way, this is my first official video… I loved editing it… it is so amateurish… but I still love it J

I had a workshop that revolved around creating a community center there.  The discussion went into the direction of public gardens… since Sahab community was complaining about the lack of public spaces for children. A lady there said that the problem is not in the gardens themselves… even if there are gardens, she (as a mother) would not send her children to a public garden, since there is a lot of drugs activity going on there. …

Obviously that did not go well… people slaughtered her! They were so upset about her accusations for a number of reasons… maybe that she was a woman, maybe that we are not local and it felt like she was showing dirty laundry…. Does not matter…what matters is that public spaces have been used as ideal spaces for predators.

*********************
I got the idea in one of those days that my sisters and I took the kids to a local park… We try to take them to a park on daily basis… truth to be known is that we don’t take them because of any brilliant maternal skills… but that is the most effective way to exhaust the kids to make sure they are in bed as early as possible…!

The thing is… I had noticed that whenever I go to a public garden, ….the demography of adults is something like: 6 Indonesian women,  5 Philippians,  4 Srilankan, one or two Europeans… No Jordanian women what so ever… European women go to public gardens to spend quality time with their children, Arab women send their maids to spend quality time with their children.

That particular day, there was a suspicious teenager going around, he would look for young children that are alone and just come close to them… with the maids busy socializing with each other and the mothers busy elsewhere doing whatever that they are doing… very young children are left vulnerable to pedophiles, drug predators, and other kinds of predators…

That particular day, my sister, who noticed this guy went to him and yelled her lungs out, questioning him on what he was doing,  threatening to get the security guard… upon hearing this, the guy dissolved in oblivion… We never saw him again…

So basically, the presence of one responsible local adult, could save the future of a few children… whose duty or fault is it? Government? Predators? Children? Families?  Or us locals who lack any sense of social responsibility and sense of belonging….. ? I wonder….

Speaking of different nationalities and cultures, I have recedntly watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding, for the 18the time  probably… I still think it is the funniest movie ever made. It is sweet, hilarious and completely relevant.….

Violence in the Middle East, like violence elsewhere in the world, is manifested in the hate, prejudice, and selfishness found in all human beings. Unfortunately our spirituality is defined by the same negative attitudes that define our relationships. The competitiveness we have injected into our peaceful religion contains the seeds of the violence destroying our social fabric today (our hello says peace be on you…) . Can it be changed? Gandhi said nothing in this world is impossible to achieve if we have the will to do so.

According to Amnesty International’s 2004 report, we have a high rate of violence, represented in so many forms, political violence, violence against women, Refugee and Migrants.. you name it… however, there is an effort to restore more human rights in the area, more activist groups are emerging and being accepted in different countries across the Arab world.

Now Nawal Sadawi seems to think there is a correlation between violence and sexual frustration; she gives two examples, the conservative American society, where violence is a serious issue. ( Bowling for columbine gives details about violence there… though devoid from this sexual theory) and gives another example the Scandinavian countries where people are not sexually frustrated and violence is very little. (At least against other people… I mean it is reported that the highest suicide rate is in there… I personally think it is because they don’t get enough sunlight!!!)

Speaking of sunlight, it is very sunny outside, so I am going to enjoy the beauty of nature… kite runner turns out to be a good book…I had to stop reading yesterday when the most important thing in the novel happens because I did not want to dream about it. Crescent is ok, the writer made a rather silly mistake… she goes tomorrow is the first day of Ramadan and since the moon is full today… I am going home walking… anyway

I would translate it, but it would lose the sense of humor( yeah there is humor even in this very bad topic) on the wall it is written that 87% support men beating their wives, then it says the survey is done by the family health organization…

what abou mahjoob is saying “um mahjoob you want democracy? this is democracy, after you have seen the survey, mop without a word, before i mop the floor with you!!!

http://www.mahjoob.com/en/archives/view.php?cartoonid=936v

if anyone is curious about what i am reading at the moment, i am still in my south America phase, i just finished an amazing book called in the time of the butterflies by Julia Alvarez… it is sweet, sad, and informative…i recommend it for those who dont know what to read next.