I have never heard of this book before, I picked it out when I was in Saudi among several other books I used to buy a bunch of English books, whenever they were available, simply because most of the good Arabic books were not there and there was no specific system to what you can find or when you can find it, actually I will never forget the dirty look I got when I asked the guy at Jarir book store for Ahlam Mustaghanemy books! Ifft he looked at me with so much disgust, telling me coldly that her books are banned! Looking at me from head to toe! and since my hair was not covered, i just wished i could disappear! before they call some mutawe3!

Anyway.. I found it recently among my unread books… I did not have high expectation from this book, but was totally and very pleasantly surprised. Once I started looking in the internet, I realized it is a an enchanting cross-cultural romance set just before the Russian Revolution in Baku, Azerbaijan, a city on the edge of the Caspian Sea. Ali Khan Shirvanshir, a Muslim desert boy from an aristocratic family, has fallen in love with the beautiful and enigmatic Nino Kipiani, a Christian girl with distinctly European background. To be together, they had to fight scandals and blood feud…. Only to prove that true love can win at the end… I guess our dear Roba once discussed mixed marriages in one of her, and this is an idea of how a mixed marriage looks like. Another example of how mixed marriages look like could be found in the map of love by Ahdaf Soueif, which I did not appreciate as much as I have her other book in the eye of the sun which i feel has changed my life! and recommended it to Natasha with the same note she wrote me once if I believe books can change lives i should read the unbearable lightness of being …Of course these are not real people, but I do have examples of real people who live blissfully in a mexed marriage… only no one would find them interesting, because you do not know them!

What is even more interesting about this book is the confused background of the writer, an interesting man of several identities Kurban Said, Assad Bei and Lev Nussimbaum… who was born Jew, converted to Islam at 17 years and spent the next 15 years in Christian Europe! Lived his life fearless, and wrote what his passions dictated… And whose early death was considered a cultural loss….

It really was not a bad experience at all… as a matter of fact, it was very interesting. I met so many nice people, and have been through so much this year…. one thing for sure, i have learnt about the concept of solitude, as for the first time in my life i was faced with so much free time, and i had to use my imagination on how to fill it out. But everything comes to an end and this is the end of my idle days.

I will actually miss few things here…mainly:
1- the warm water in the swimming pool… i hate cold water, and swimming in the very warm water in Jeddah at night feels like floating in psace.

2- I will miss the constant feeling of challenge and thrill that i lived here when walking in the streets, for i never covered my hair, not because i have anything against hijab, on the contrary i really respect women who reach this high level of looking beyond materialistic stuff ( if they actually wear the hijab out of conviction)… but i refuse to do anything so personal that is imposed on me by anyone, wether family or society or laws…

3- I will miss the great frienship bonds that form in this country, because everyone is in the same boat, everyone is a stranger with no family, and so they substitute that with the support of their friends… it is something that i have never experienced anywhere else

Anyway… a new page opens in my life…what is next…. only God knows!

Jeddah is packed these days, it is the season of immigration to Jeddah, ( I just remembered a book called season of immigration to the north by tayeb saleh, it is actually one of the best books I have ever read, if you did not read it, jump to the closest book store and get it) where was I? Yes, people in Saudi, the ones who do not travel, come to Jeddah to spend the summer, it is relatively more open than other places, that means women dont have to cover their hair, also it has restaurants where you see other people, women do things alone…etc. And the Sea gives it some very special atmosphere.

We went to have dinner yesterday, these days wherever we are, we only talk about one thing! it is always interesting to hear what people think.

I have talked to different types, the conservative, the religious, the open, the exposed. Everyone agrees that this is wrong. It is good to know that what is happening does not represent anyone. It only represents few people with hidden agendas. What bothers me is that they give bad picture about all Muslims, which is not fair, because it is very easy to generalize and think everyone is the same.

On a different note, I was watching spider man with one of my little friends, he is less than 5 years, I asked him if he liked it and he said “yeth, becauthe it hath kithing!” ( yes because it has kissing!) I thought that was the cutesiest (cutetht!) thing ever.

My job hunt is still going. After my experience with the sheikha, I realized that one of the problems here is the exploitation! I mean just because I am a woman, and my husband is working and earning money, they belive the only reason I want to work is to get out of the house. And so they give women the minimum! but they have absolutely no problem to waste money on their gold plated desks… things are more important than people here. but again, this is only one situation,and i dont want to generalise, I know people who are perfectly happy here, and I know people who fully respect other people here. the issue is that sometimes it gets really really boring, I mean i started feeling that i lost 6 months of my life for no reason at all.

I did what i felt was the right thing but it was one of the most difficult decisions in the last few months… I declined again!

One of his friends was looking for someone to help her in her new position in her dad’s empire. One of our friends happens to know M. and he passed my CV to the sheikha. She took one look at it, and decided I was THE person for the job. I was in Amman at the time, we kept postponing the meeting till I come back. When I was finally back she was on vacation in Spain, then in a wedding in Egypt, then a vacation from the vacation in Beirut, then a meeting in God knows where… the meeting kept postponing from one week to the other, till we FINALLY met.

I have to admit, I was impressed, she is smart, cute, very outspoken, and very professional. She took me from one office to the other, showing me what my office would look like. On the penthouse, a sea view… simply unbelievable!

She showed me around, proud of her dad’s exquisite taste, the colored walls ( by a Jean Paul, who was so honored to come all the way from Paris, to draw on their walls). The golden plated desks, the rare Iranian carpets, the fresh pots of flowers… I thoughts these guys know how to live.

We talked and talked… this job was good, they wanted me to be a consultant, help them develop a woman department, take care of their business in Spain and Germany… my life was finally going to be EXCITING.

Then we talked about compensation.

I could not take the job….. I would not be able to afford my clothing for the job! For her I was worth nothing… a year of my time is worth one plated desk……. I knew that if i had an ounce of self respect i should decline… and i did… I took one look at the sea-view and  bade the view a silent goodbye and left with my heart in my feet. 

Why am I writing about all this? Well yeah, after few weeks of declining the offer M. called me again trying to comprehend why I did not take the job. Explaining to me what a great family they are, He told me that the opportunity is still there if I am interested…. But not one penny more! (speak on knowing how to spend!)

What do you think I did?

Several events were canceled last week because of all the rumors circulating. The main problem in this place is that they never tell you what is REALLY going on. People hear things here and there, and feel they are compelled to fill the gaps. I know one thing though; things we hear are not exactly very good.

Last week they put more security around our compound, I personally did not like it much, for two reasons, first it means they are really worried. Second more security draws attention that there is a compound here. I’d rather it stays hidden. I am happy we live in a very small compound.

I can feel the panic here, several people stopped sending their kids to schools (it being the end of the year is actually the stronger reason) many of our friends left, some of them for good. They just believe no money is worth losing your life for, which is true.

But life goes on, most of us are trying to live as normal as this place offers.. which is not much! Do the events affect us? Yes they do, we no longer go to drink coffee at a cafe outside (which was the highlight of my stay here), and we no longer go to the beach on Fridays. When we go out with sevgi, we make her cover her hair, because she is the only one who does not have Middle Eastern features.

What is sad about all this is that nothing in these acts are religious. God does not want people do things like this, in the first Islamic wars, the prophet used to say don’t touch people who are in involved even if they belong to other religions, don’t touch property, (houses, cars, lands…etc.) don’t touch trees or plants or animals…

These acts have distorted the picture of our religion, made it look violent and inhuman, while in reality, like any other religion, it is NOT like this.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day very sleepy! I woke up at around 8:00 to go to this coffee morning, where Palestinian women get together to be educated about the Palestinian case, and help gather donations. The donations go to this lady we all know, who goes to Ramalla often. She does what she sees fit, as no matter how much we know, we don’t know what they go through.

Arab women are really funny! every single foreigner I met here, lives great! They have activities, book clubs, they meet people, discover markets, enjoy their kids, have parties, quiz nights,… etc. They are simply fine.

On the other hand, every other Arab woman is so depressed, is on the verge of nervous break down, have given up so much for the bastard she married…will kill herself if she stayed another day, thinks the kids are too BEAUCOUP, is getting fat and does not what to do about it. I simply do not get it!

Yeah it is true, Saudi is not exactly Honolulu, but I just started realizing that we are very spoiled, very uncreative, we simply do not know how to live. I am talking about Jordanians, Palestinians, Lebanese, Egyptians, Syrians. .and it goes on. Of course, if each one of them has a maid and a nanny (who is the feeding, changing, bathing, playing with the kids) and a cook and a driver. Yeah, I would get bored as well. None of them is in the mood to open a book or go to the gym, to run after the kids…YEEEEE

BIEN, I leave now with the compliments DIEU

Sevgi sent me her chauffeur at around 9:00 AM, I went to her house, and we waited for her friend to come so she can drive in front of us. We are all invited to a beach party! I know that my life looks so colorful, pool events, coffee, painting and reading; it is in a way, and not in other ways. I mean I am not adding any value to the world… does it matter though?

We went to Salhiah, it is the best exclusive beach in Jeddah, it is like a resort, I liked it a lot. It is Rula’s son’s birthday. Rula is an American Palestinian girl that I met here, she is really a riot, but this is why i like her.

I could have been in Ibiza,somehwere in italy or even in the Caribbean…straw hat, cocktail, nice flowy dress , nice company… ah well!

We had a nice mourning, swimming, chatting, and laughing, everyone was in a very light mood.

At around 1:30, I gathered my dress and abaya in my hands and started running! i looked very silly as my hair is covered but my legs are shown! I had to run from that beach, which is almost an hour away from my home, back home, because my cousin Hussam, was going to send his chauffeur to pick me up for lunch at around 2:00!

Whoever said that life here is boring, has no clue!