I decided to write about this now, because after leaving a comment on Smokes Blow’s blog, I had received many emails from different people around the world wanting to adopt a child and not knowing what the process was… I will put everything that I know here… and hopefully it will be useful to these people who want to adopt a child. Special thank to Naser for a great initiative.

As an orphan, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) paid special attention to orphans. He himself adopted a child and raised him as if he were his own son.

However things are not simple. In the Islamic Law, there are specific rules about the guardianship of an orphan. Mainly,  the child has always to know who his biological family is and he/she can’t change their last name to match that of the adoptive family. If the biological parents are not known, then the child has to know that he is adopted.

He/she inherits from his/her biological parents, and can inherit up to one third from his/her adoptive parents (in a will). Also if the child was rich or has inherited anything from his/her biological parents, his adoptive parents can’t use that money. There are many Ayas in the Qura’an that insist on protecting the orphans’ rights and property. (this site provides more details)

“…Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.”(Qur’an 33:4-5)

I need to explain, if these rules are respected, and the child was treated with love and respect, guardianship or kafala of an orphan child is something that is seen on top of the good deeds that any Muslim can do in his/her lifetime… it is a guaranteed way to go to heaven.

I will not go into explaining the rationale behind this, as it makes perfect sense to me… in Spain, a story made the news a few months ago about an adopted child who doscovered that his wife was his biological sister… but they did not know before because they were both adopted… and they only found out later when one of their children needed medical care and they both had to go through thorough medical testing… The case sparked harsh debate about the ethics involved in this case… everyone had an opinion…

In Jordan, there are laws that govern adopting a child. Jordanian law does not allow for full adoptions of Jordanian children. However, the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) may grant guardianship of children to people who are not the child’s biological parents. However under specific rules.

•  To start with, the parents must be Muslims. Because every child is deemed Muslim if his parents are not known.
•  The husband must be between 35 and 55 years of age and the wife must be between 30 and 50 years of age. And they MUST be married. Single parents can’t adopt children.
•  Parents must be medically certified as infertile. They may have up to 2 children, including adopted. If they have one child then, the adopted child must be of the same sex. The reason is that in the Islamic Sharia law, there is no blood bond between them and so they are muhram.

Now to go back to the origin of the this whole research… what are the rules in Gaza?

Gazans feel very sensitive about sending war children outside Gaza, they have a sense of attachment to the land and the place. They feel that these children have already paid a lot for Gaza and it is not right to uproot them. They are home and should be brought up at home.

Also these childrem usually have relatives, sometimes too poor to raise them, but they are still loved. Relatives feel that they have btrayed the children’s parents if they put them for adoption.

However, there is only one category of children, on which the rules don’t apply. Children of incest, rape, outside wedlock… abandoned children… the problem is that no one wants to adopt them. With this category there is a room to listen, but someone needs to know someone inside.

There is a home for abandoned children in Gaza… only one place, in which all these children go. If someone got to them, then maybe… maybe they can adopt a child.

قلم / محمود درويش – من كتاب حيرة العائد 

كانت ايام حرب غزة كتير عصيبة السنة الماضية. كان الغضب بيعترم الشوارع الأردنية. كان عندنا شعور بالقهر و الظلم. و عرفنا انه الشعب الفلسطيني كان ضحية للعبه سياسيه قذرة، متعلقة بالإنتخابات الإسرائيلية

نحنا اخترنا نجمع أكل و ملابس لأهل غزة. و يمكن الطريقة اللي اشتغلنا فيها هي دليل على انه مقاومتنا هي مقاومة الضعفاء! (رح أكتب أكتر عن نظرية مقاومة الضعفاء بمقال تاني بس مش مهم. وضعنا اعلان على حبر انه اللي بحب يتبرع، بيقدر يلاقينا عند كوزمو.) و اتفقنا ننقل الأغراض بسيارة نسيم لبيته، و نطلب من مجموعة من اصحابنا يساعدونا، ونسهر طول الليل نرتبهم بأكياس.

و يا ليلي

اللي ما حسبناه، هو قوة الضعفاء اذا اجتمعوا. مئات الناس اذا مش الاف جاؤا يتبرعوا بأكل و ملابس، و عشرات الناس ما بنعرفهم من الشارع و قفوا يحملوا معنا أغراض و يساعدونا بتحميل الأغراض.

استبدلنا سيارة نسيم ب16 شاحنة من ارامكس، و الأكياس بكراتين من نقل. و زدنا على مجموعة اصحابنا مئات من المتطوعين استبدلنا ليلة السهرة للشغل بثلاثة أسابيع من السهرات، و بيت نسيم بمستودع على طريق المطار. كنا كتير ننبسط لما نعرف انه الغرض اللي بنترتبه اليوم، بعد بيومين بصير بغزة. كيف بنعرف؟ كنا نعلّم الأغراض، و الناس يتركوا رسائل دعم في الكراتين ، و بطريقة أو بتانية قدرنا نتصل بالشخص المسؤول عن استلام المساعدات بغزة و بتأكد.

بس بعدين بدأ النهب على الطريق و انحرق المستودع… و عشان هيك انا بسميها مقاومة الضعفاء! بس مرة تانية مش مهم… المهم انه كان في حراك في الشارع الأردني.

و بمناسبة الحديث عن الحراك، هذه مجموعة من الفيديوهات من ايام غزة مأخوذة عن من الأردن

11 كانون الثاني هذه كانت تظاهرة فنية، تضمنت برنامج كتير مؤثر فيه موسيقى بالات مختلفة، و شعر بالعربي و الإنجليزي.

9 كانون الثاني – هذي في الرابية، اقرب مكان قدروا المتظاهرين يقربوا للسفارة الإسرائيلية. قرروا انه بدهم يعملوا

اعتصام مفتوح لحد ما يطلع السفير عن الأرض الأردنية

8 كانون الثاني- اعتصام للقوى الشبابية والطلابية أمام المفوضية الأوروبية احتجاجاً على موقفها من الهجوم على غزة

هذه المظاهرة بدأت عند الدوار الرابع و انتهت عند السفارة المصرية. كان الموضوع غضب على مصر عشان معبر رفح. بس الأهم من هيك هو انة الرئيس المصري كان في اجتماعات مع اسرائيل قبل الهجوم

هذه أنا بسميها مظاهرة الفيس بوك، كانت في الشميساني، بشارع الثقافة و ضمت المظاهرة رسامين و فنانين. هم ساعدوا في تحضير اللافتات اللي حملوها المتظاهرين. كانت المظاهرة كتير خلاقة

As some of you might know, my dad went to volunteer as a surgeon in Gaza during the war. There, he managed to get in touch with his long lost nieces.   After the initial shock and excitement, we managed to build some bridges of friendship between us.   During this last year, we started talking… our timid talks soon became long sessions of discovery and sharing.   We talked for hours and hours over the phone, trying to catch up on the lost years.  Our conversations range from discussing family issues to comparing hair types!

 Last week, Eman  decided that she wanted to defy the Israeli embargo and travel all the way to receive The Carmignac Gestion Photojournalism Prize 2009  that she was awarded  for her  sensitive photos on the condition of Palestinian women, and for which she was awarded the judges’ Special Prize.

 “Fourteen candidates from eight different countries were short-listed from 76 entries (Including prominent figures such as Alex Majoli and Gilles Peress from Magnum). They were selected as much for their extremely well-researched projects as for outstanding quality of their photographs, demonstrating thoroughness in their work.

The Panel’s discussion focused first on the quality of the photographic work together with the photographer’s chosen approach and unique perspective. Next, they examined the originality of the written proposals and the capacity of each candidate to present a fresh and meaningful view.

At the end of a first round of very lively analysis, the work of three finalists offering differing approaches was singled out: Kai Wiedenhöfer from Germany, Eman Mohammed from Palestine and Lizzie Sadin from France.

In its discussions, the judges made special mention of the quality and sensitivity of the work of 22-year old Eman Mohammed on the condition of Palestinian women for which she was awarded the judges’ Special Prize.”  Elsewhere

Last week, my family was praying in anticipation as  Eman  tried to cross the borders to come and meet us. All her attempts have failed, leaving us disappointed and heartbroken.

I will not lose hope that one day the Israeli occupation will allow me to meet my lovely cousins. Till then I hope they would know how much I missed having them in my life, and how sad I feel whenever I realize the size of this lost opportunity.

I started the day thinking about something else… I realized that I was no longer putting myself in the shoes of that Gazan girl while she is going through a moment between the world of sleep and the world of the awake. Last few weeks, I would imagine myself at that moment when realization rushes back. At the moment when she would know that she was 160 cm when was driven into the Shifa’s hospital, but became only 80 cms when she woke up… she does not want to acknowledge it. So she pretends that something isn’t happening when it is.

Today, I realized that I am moving into the next chapter, but the Gaza chapter left an empty space in my life. This makes me wonder about those guys and girls who spent last 7 weeks of their lives with us in the warehouse… I wonder how they feel about suddenly having a lot of time on their plate, but even more, I wonder about their reasons for spending those chunks of their days at the warehouse? What pushed them to drive all the way to Al Qastal to work there?

I guess these questions made me think of a book I read while I was finishing my MA… at that time I was completely taken with it… it is called weapons of the weak by a thinker called Scott. I have previously written about it… but here I find myself thinking about it again. The theory in this book is that human beings revolt against the inequality and injustice of life by every day hidden forms of resistance when they can’t do much to change their realities.

I always felt that inordinate attention has been paid to open resistance, and too little to ordinary, everyday forms of resistance and their symbolic and ideological underpinnings.

I completely believe that resistence was one of the reasons these youngsters came. By showing up day and day out there,

by challenging the weather, defying the cold, rebelling against parents and ignoring the Israeli changing rules on daily basis, these youngsters  resisted the tyranny of Israel and the hypocrisy of the world… it would have been much easier to sit in an argeeleh place frustrated, or to simply stop caring…but the freedom of the human spirit is beyond our comprehension. These youngsters kept on returning against all the odds!

For the second time around, I realize that the concept of absolute power will never exist, because no matter what, human beings are free… and as long as we have an intangible spirit and an unidentifiable instinct… no one entity can achieve absolute power…

Before yesterday, at the Rabieh demonstration. Adrenaline was running high at the prospect of the police taking down the tent. The tent has been set up there for more than a week now, in an open demonstration till the Israeli ambassador is out of Jordan.  (They did not take it down, the rumor has it that the Prime Minister interfered in their support)  Even though I was there with my guy friends, that did not seem to stop random guys from coming for a chat. They would ask me about my camera, or give me snippets of information about what was going on…all done courteously. However all conversations had a flirtatious undertone backed by a body language mixed into it. I won’t delude myself into thinking it was directed towards me personally…in that setup, I was simply a female!

Q. got a bit protective, he was trying to warn me about men there…. he cracked a few jokes about the trend in that space.  A group of women would gather around the fire (it was cold). That would surely attract one man to add oil to the fire to make sure it stays on.  More men would automatically join…and more men… soon, the geography of the place would be defined by groups of men gathering around smaller groups of women!

Now he might have been joking, and the picture I am painting here is definitely exaggerated since men outnumbered women by dozens… but there is some truth to it.

For years, scientists have suspected that people feel attraction more intensely when they are excited, be it through anxiety, fear, anger… I found this 1974 article that states that attraction occurs with increased frequency during states of strong emotion… I guess if we take it back to the basic caveman analogy, the main aim of human beings is the survival of the race. Therefore in times of war, when people feel threatened, they are driven by instinct to reproduce and survive…. and thus they become more flirtatious and physical.

To bring the argument full circle, I will have to take it back to Jordan and analyze it according to what is going on there.  People have been gathering in this tent every day for hours… they also have been meeting in protests… these setups, being public, are quite respectable… especially when there is a cause such as Gaza attached to them….  protests are perfect spaces for guys to meet girls, and for girls to meet guys.

Nas had an interesting insight into the argument. He thought that protests are spaces where people meet others knowing that they share core values.

To analyze his argument… Whoever is in a protest is someone who is passionate about the cause they are protesting about.  They are people who subscribe to a certain set of beliefs and personality traits, such as being public, courageous.  I don’t know maybe vocal, driven, active (?) therefore they do share something strong in common… including a basic intellectual compatibility…. I am not saying that everyone in protests is the same… but I am saying that a protest is a space where the probability of finding people who share common ideologies is high…. For me it is much simpler… the caveman analogy! We are hard wired to make sure the race survives.

During our food drive, the setup was very safe. People were working hard, in a very public open space for long hours… in a way the setup gathered all the necessary elements for young people to meet and get to know each other and hopefully to fall in love.  Truthfully, a lot of innocent flirting was going on (I personally was delighted).  Those youngsters had definitely many things in common.  Now, I find myself waiting for a day, in a few years, when we will receive an email from someone telling us that they are getting married and that they met in our food drive!

Ok.. that was my intellectual relief from the intensity of the situation… I have not been this emotionally drained in a long time… I have been glued in front of Al Jazeerah waiting for the ceasefire…

Today we will know what the UN has decided. Inshallah there is some consciousness still alive in that group of people.

So…we spent the last three days gathering food for Gaza. 7iber created an event on facebook to tell people about the drive…

I am not sure how things picked up, but I received messages about the drive from fifteen different people!

Now, we told people to bring food to the empty lot of land facing  Cozmo… Aramex generously donated the first truck.  We thought we will fill it out and go home feeling good about ourselves…

Around 1:00 Am, I was hit by a fit of hysterical laughter!… the sheer impact of looking at the mountains and mountains of stuff made me unable to stop laughing.

Hundreds upon hundreds of people showed up throughout the evening and brought stuff… some people donated truck loads…. Tens of young men and women showed up out of nowhere to help!! When we originally started, we hoped to fill one truck load, but we filled at least 16 (Thanks to Aramex that provided  truck after truck)  Tons and tons of cans and food and clothing were gathered.

Jordanians, Syrians, Iraqis, Palestinains, Egyptians, Europeans , Americans were there to help… .I am not sure how to describe the feeling, but seriously… my faith in the human race that was taken away by the Israelis is restored by the Arabs… and those who were there…

Two specific  incidents: a mother showed up with her two kids… they are not more than 5 or 6. They gave me their small money banks ( I don’t know what they are called) they were full of coins… they donated them so that kids in Gaza  can  have food! I wanted to hug them… these kids will grow up to be good human beings

Incident two: around 1 am, when our energy was drained, four Egyptian workers appeared from nowhere to help us load the truck (seeing the amount of work was depressing)….they worked and worked and worked, bringing new energy into the group… we wanted to give them a tip, but they refused… they said we are brothers…

 For videos, please look at Ali’s blog  and of course, 7iber for constant updates

 31/12/2008

We spent the day in the warehouse that was placed by Aramax  at our disposal … I LOVE Aramex! At least  a hundred young people showed up to help yesterday… some of them had their tawjihi exams, they finished their exams and came running to help… others were with us till 2:00 AM the previous night… we were working like an assembly line with so much passion.

We decided to attack food items… as we went on; rules of the game became evident. We had to sort the cans by the following rules:

1-      Expiry date (not less than 6 months)

2-      Every class of cans alone (tuna alone, soup alone, peas alone,  hummos alone, beans alone… and so on)

3-  no meat products are allowed.

4-      Every can had to be examined to check where it came from!! If it was made in one of the countries that are enemies with Israel, the can will not make it there…

5-      Any used clothing will not go through!

Now the last two points are worth contemplating… I am appalled by Israel. I can’t believe that they would put such rules at this time. What difference would used clothing do to Israel? It baffles me… people are being murdered there… 420 people so far… and thousands of injured… if this is not ethnic cleansing… i don’t know what is.

I wonder when they were being killed and the world donated stuff for them, did they care if it was new or not? Did they care if the food came from Germany or France or India?!

What worries me is that the world is not doing anything but watch…. I wonder what would have happened if the roles were reversed?

The world is unfair.

On a local front, around 100 young people decided to sacrifice their new years eve to work with us.  It gets me emotional just to see the dedication these youngsters showed.  Young people are always accused of not  caring… well let the world be a witness to how much we care…  the work was fun, hard and amazing…

These pictures have been taken by our one and only Jad

1/1/2009

We gathered in front of Cozmo at 11. We started with 20 people.. I was depressed, I thought that the number was too little. When we got to the warehouse I found another 30! They came there alone! We were around 50 people. Throughout the day people showed up alone… at around 3:00 Ramsey set off to Cosmo to bring the people who were there…

I was seriously shocked when they came back… an army of women came in, ready and determined to work… it was brilliant!

 From a bird view, we would look like ants!

We started with the clothing… our beloved army of young gorgeous women, got onto the task and within hours they finished the initial sorting

As my dad says, there is still good in this world.

This one was in Shmeisani, on Thaqafa street. The whole demonstration was organized through facebook. It included some artists, who helped prepare the signs carried by the protesters. Some of the signs were quite artistic. The protesters chanted Marcel Khaleefeh’s patriotic songs, the palestinian national anthem, and other emotional slognas, while carrying candles. 

This one is in Rabia.  The closest the protesters could get to the Israeli embassy. It is planned to be an open protest till the Israeli ambassador is out of the country. Even though it was raining, those guys brought their tents and their fire and just sat there. They drew the map of Palestine with their candles.

Some of these videos are taken by my friend Ramzi,  you can see more pictures and updates on 7iber and on his ikbis profile

Don’t forget our food drive

“We were sitting in the dark, oblivious to what is happening outside” says my friend Shorouq in Gaza. “My parents closed all the doors and asked us not leave. We could hear wailing, screaming and the constant stream of bombs. We are simply waiting to die.” She continued before the line was cut off. That was the last time I heard from shorouq. I don’t know if she is still alive, I don’t know if they are still waiting to die… but that hopelessness makes me feel sick.

Shorouq said when I asked her what they need, that the only thing they needed is for the aggression to stop, which one of a lot of things we can’t do for them. However, instead of feeling helpless here in Jordan we can do something.

My friends at 7iber are going to launch an emergency clothes and food drive which will be taking place over the next 48 hours.

You can bring canned food items (no meat), clothing, blankets, and jackets – all in good condition –

to

Cosmo Center 7th Circle

from 6:30-8:30PM

on

Tuesday, Dec. 30th.

Click here where you can join our event page to find out all the details you need

We have to help because the Israeli government has been starving Gaza. Since 2006, the humanitarian situation of Gaza has been declining drastically due to the Israeli closure and siege of the area. According to the UN:

·         56 percent of Gazans are classified as ‘food insecure’

·         76 percent of Gazan households are must accept some humanitarian assistance

·         At least 60 percent of Gazans in poverty rate by international standards

·         The Gaza Strip is one of the most densely populated places on earth

·         1.5 million Palestinians  in 139 square miles (360 sq km) and  25 mi long and 4-7.5 mi wide

·         Israeli government (ultimately) controls all borders and seacoast of Gaza

If you want to do something, this is your chance.