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	<title>House of Curiosity... &#187; Adoption</title>
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	<description>Casting the first stone</description>
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		<title>Adopting a child in Islam, Jordan and Gaza</title>
		<link>http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2010/09/20/adopting-a-child-in-islam-jordan-and-gaza/</link>
		<comments>http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2010/09/20/adopting-a-child-in-islam-jordan-and-gaza/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:35:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Madas</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Wandering Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abandoned children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adoption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gaza]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Islam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jordan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orphans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://madas.jordanplanet.org/?p=1411</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Smokes blow wrote a post last January on adopting children from Gaza. His post was one of few posts that addressed the issue. At that point I was very interested in exploring the possibility of adopting a child from Gaza. I eventually reached a dead end… but I learnt a few things in the process.
I decided to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://naserz.blogspot.com/2009/01/so-i-want-to-adopt-child-from-gazawhat.html">Smokes blow</a> wrote a post last January on adopting children from Gaza. His post was one of few posts that addressed the issue. At that point I was very interested in exploring the possibility of adopting a child from Gaza. I eventually reached a dead end… but I learnt a few things in the process.</p>
<p>I decided to write about this now, because after leaving a comment on Smokes Blow’s blog, I had received many emails from different people around the world wanting to adopt a child and not knowing what the process was… I will put everything that I know here… and hopefully it will be useful to these people who want to adopt a child. Special thank to Naser for a great initiative.</p>
<p>As an orphan, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) paid special attention to orphans. He himself adopted a child and raised him as if he were his own son.</p>
<p>However things are not simple. In the Islamic Law, there are specific rules about the guardianship of an orphan. Mainly,  the child has always to know who his biological family is and he/she can’t change their last name to match that of the adoptive family. If the biological parents are not known, then the child has to know that he is adopted.</p>
<p>He/she inherits from his/her biological parents, and can inherit up to one third from his/her adoptive parents (in a will). Also if the child was rich or has inherited anything from his/her biological parents, his adoptive parents can’t use that money. There are many Ayas in the Qura’an that insist on protecting the orphans’ rights and property. <a href="http://islam.about.com/cs/parenting/a/adoption.htm">(this site provides more details) </a></p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;&#8230;Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father&#8217;s (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.&#8221;(Qur&#8217;an 33:4-5)</p>
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<p>I need to explain, if these rules are respected, and the child was treated with love and respect, guardianship or kafala of an orphan child is something that is seen on top of the good deeds that any Muslim can do in his/her lifetime&#8230; it is a guaranteed way to go to heaven.</p>
<p>I will not go into explaining the rationale behind this, as it makes perfect sense to me… in Spain, a story made the news a few months ago about an adopted child who doscovered that his wife was his biological sister… but they did not know before because they were both adopted… and they only found out later when one of their children needed medical care and they both had to go through thorough medical testing… The case sparked harsh debate about the ethics involved in this case… everyone had an opinion…</p>
<p>In Jordan, there are laws that govern adopting a child. Jordanian law does not allow for full adoptions of Jordanian children. However, the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) may grant guardianship of children to people who are not the child’s biological parents. However under specific rules.</p>
<ul>
<li> To start with, the parents must be Muslims. Because every child is deemed Muslim if his parents are not known.</li>
<li> The husband must be between 35 and 55 years of age and the wife must be between 30 and 50 years of age. And they MUST be married. Single parents can’t adopt children.</li>
<li> Parents must be medically certified as infertile. They may have up to 2 children, including adopted. If they have one child then, the adopted child must be of the same sex. The reason is that in the Islamic Sharia law, there is no blood bond between them and so they are muhram.</li>
</ul>
<p>Now to go back to the origin of the this whole research&#8230; what are the rules in Gaza?</p>
<p>Gazans feel very sensitive about sending war children outside Gaza, they have a sense of attachment to the land and the place. They feel that these children have already paid a lot for Gaza and it is not right to uproot them. They are home and should be brought up at home.</p>
<p>Also these childrem usually have relatives, sometimes too poor to raise them, but they are still loved. Relatives feel that they have btrayed the children&#8217;s parents if they put them for adoption.</p>
<p>However, there is only one category of children, on which the rules don&#8217;t apply. Children of incest, rape, outside wedlock&#8230; abandoned children&#8230; the problem is that no one wants to adopt them. With this category there is a room to listen, but someone needs to know someone inside.</p>
<p>There is a home for abandoned children in Gaza&#8230; only one place, in which all these children go. If someone got to them, then maybe… maybe they can adopt a child.</p>
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		<title>life celebration in the church</title>
		<link>http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2006/02/13/life-celebration-in-the-church/</link>
		<comments>http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2006/02/13/life-celebration-in-the-church/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Feb 2006 15:21:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Madas</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Wandering Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Adoption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirituality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://madas.jordanplanet.org/?p=32</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t know where to start, with the funeral itself or my impressions about a funeral in a church? Maybe this is supposed to be a sad post, but after leaving the church, a strange sense of peace swept over me.

The priest said he can&#8217;t express how difficult this is to everyone, because we all [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>I don’t know where to start, with the funeral itself or my impressions about a funeral in a church? Maybe this is supposed to be a sad post, but after leaving the church, a strange sense of peace swept over me.</div>
<div><span><br />
The priest said he can&#8217;t express how difficult this is to everyone, because we all know that the cycle of life is not supposed to be like this, and no excuse can be given to explain why something like this happens&#8230; we don’t know why our loved ones die&#8230; no one knows or understands&#8230; but we know one thing&#8230; that God loves us, and more important He loves Jared. The priest said that God chose to call Jared back to Him now, after giving him to his adoptive parents to love and take care of temporarily.  The metaphor of calling someone back hit me as being very relieving. Suddenly the process of death made sense, it was no longer dark or scary or painful or even incomprehensible. It was natural, it was easy and it was tender… the person gets called back to be near God.</span></div>
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<div>Jared was the adopted child of our friends. They have loved him so much and gave him everything a loving family would give their child. He was 3 years old and had a rare type of cancer. However this child was very joyful, and the innocence of children never ceases to amaze me&#8230; knowing you are dying and still be very happy and joyful, this is why the priest chose  the espression of lets celebrate the life of this happy child, who was lucky because he knew he was loved. It made me wonder how his life would have been if he was never adopted, if he was still in an orphanage. The harsh reality of an anonymous death and an unmarked grave kept nagging&#8230;</div>
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<div>It also made me wonder there on the spot, how come the concept of adoption does not exist in our society that is known for its generosity and chivalry?  Is it because many wrongly believe that adoption is forbidden by Islam? But this is really wrong as the prophet himself had an adopted son and his name was Zaid.  What is really forbidden is to claim the child and give him/her a new identity or last name, and this is justified and makes total sense to me&#8230; The other reason is our fascination with the Jahili concept of family honour&#8230; I will leave the imagined consequences from this post, but  will build the set up&#8230;  lets imagine I found a child in the garbage somewhere. (Background slow drums music) Here I am walking with the child on my arms to my family and look them in the eye, while the little thing is crying on my arms and say after a pause of quiet tension</div>
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<div>&#8221; i7em&#8230;.Mom and Dad.. I have made up my mind to adopt this child&#8230;&#8230;.&#8221;</div>
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<div>lol! the expression on their faces is everything but funny yet i can&#8217;t stop laughing!</div>
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<div>ok&#8230; back to reality&#8230;.I guess that explaines why unmarried women in the Arab world dont adopt.  Hundreds if not thousands of women never get married…<strong><em>if they are not lucky enough to find right man in the right time </em></strong> they live their life feeling bitter that they were never given the chance to have children as they are not allowed to have them outside the wedlock <strong><em> and if they happened to have a child outside the wedlcok they will throw them in orphanages anyway!…</em></strong> <strong><em>but that is a different story</em></strong>. why don’t they simply direct all these maternal feelings towards one child who really and despearately needs love?</div>
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