Adopting a child in Islam, Jordan and Gaza
Smokes blow wrote a post last January on adopting children from Gaza. His post was one of few posts that addressed the issue. At that point I was very interested in exploring the possibility of adopting a child from Gaza. I eventually reached a dead end… but I learnt a few things in the process.
I decided to write about this now, because after leaving a comment on Smokes Blow’s blog, I had received many emails from different people around the world wanting to adopt a child and not knowing what the process was… I will put everything that I know here… and hopefully it will be useful to these people who want to adopt a child. Special thank to Naser for a great initiative.
As an orphan, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) paid special attention to orphans. He himself adopted a child and raised him as if he were his own son.
However things are not simple. In the Islamic Law, there are specific rules about the guardianship of an orphan. Mainly, the child has always to know who his biological family is and he/she can’t change their last name to match that of the adoptive family. If the biological parents are not known, then the child has to know that he is adopted.
He/she inherits from his/her biological parents, and can inherit up to one third from his/her adoptive parents (in a will). Also if the child was rich or has inherited anything from his/her biological parents, his adoptive parents can’t use that money. There are many Ayas in the Qura’an that insist on protecting the orphans’ rights and property. (this site provides more details)
“…Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father’s (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.”(Qur’an 33:4-5)
I need to explain, if these rules are respected, and the child was treated with love and respect, guardianship or kafala of an orphan child is something that is seen on top of the good deeds that any Muslim can do in his/her lifetime… it is a guaranteed way to go to heaven.
I will not go into explaining the rationale behind this, as it makes perfect sense to me… in Spain, a story made the news a few months ago about an adopted child who doscovered that his wife was his biological sister… but they did not know before because they were both adopted… and they only found out later when one of their children needed medical care and they both had to go through thorough medical testing… The case sparked harsh debate about the ethics involved in this case… everyone had an opinion…
In Jordan, there are laws that govern adopting a child. Jordanian law does not allow for full adoptions of Jordanian children. However, the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) may grant guardianship of children to people who are not the child’s biological parents. However under specific rules.
- To start with, the parents must be Muslims. Because every child is deemed Muslim if his parents are not known.
- The husband must be between 35 and 55 years of age and the wife must be between 30 and 50 years of age. And they MUST be married. Single parents can’t adopt children.
- Parents must be medically certified as infertile. They may have up to 2 children, including adopted. If they have one child then, the adopted child must be of the same sex. The reason is that in the Islamic Sharia law, there is no blood bond between them and so they are muhram.
Now to go back to the origin of the this whole research… what are the rules in Gaza?
Gazans feel very sensitive about sending war children outside Gaza, they have a sense of attachment to the land and the place. They feel that these children have already paid a lot for Gaza and it is not right to uproot them. They are home and should be brought up at home.
Also these childrem usually have relatives, sometimes too poor to raise them, but they are still loved. Relatives feel that they have btrayed the children’s parents if they put them for adoption.
However, there is only one category of children, on which the rules don’t apply. Children of incest, rape, outside wedlock… abandoned children… the problem is that no one wants to adopt them. With this category there is a room to listen, but someone needs to know someone inside.
There is a home for abandoned children in Gaza… only one place, in which all these children go. If someone got to them, then maybe… maybe they can adopt a child.
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The prospects for life as an orphan in Jordan are pretty grim. I don’t know about Gaza.
“Children of incest, rape, outside wedlock… abandoned children… the problem is that no one wants to adopt them. With this category there is a room to listen, but someone needs to know someone inside.”
These are the children who need a loving family the most. I have had several friends try to adopt/foster such children, from the diplomatic community to neighbors. The red tape makes it impossible. I wish more Jordanian families would look into this awesome act of love.
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Madas Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 13:23
Agreed… their life and prospects are grim. Even though i asked the Ministry of social developement, they said that there is a long waiting list. some get adopted and some stay where they are and end up being invited every Ramadan for a meal from the nice people!
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Thanks for this post, it is such an important topic. I kind of respect the strict laws that the Jordanians have in terms of adoption, being so careful when it comes to the most vulnerable is very important.
But I am curious about the abandoned children of Gaza… why would no one want to adopt/foster them?
Also, I guess you would have the option of financial fostering, i.e. paying for the needs of an orphaned child while a relative cares for their other needs.
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Madas Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 13:20
Laila,
No one wants them because we all have hypocratical streaks! In one case a man wanted to adopt/ foster a child and he went around Amman looking for one, no family allowed him to foster their kid. We suggested that he fosters one of those kids, but he said, why would i want a child who is the product of incest? or why would I want an iben 7aram?!
So the idea of iben 7aram is too strong for people to want them.
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kinzi Reply:
September 20th, 2010 at 20:10
Oh, my heart lurched at that. Through no fault of this child’s, he/she will never have a father’s strong approval or a mother’s tender love? The character development of interection with siblings in a family unit? Goodness, isn’t that what Jordan is all about? It’s national strength and identity – the tribe? These Jordanian are cut off from everything it means to be a Jordanian.
A Ramadan meal with a family is a lovely touch, but the chlid is not a member but a guest. The workers at the orphanages are doing their best to provide a substitute, and financial support a great way to help, but ultimately, will these children of Jordan will ever remain outsiders looking in.
What is most heartbreaking is that many of the girls are then just led into prostitution by default, living out their identity as bint al haram.
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Amjad Reply:
December 26th, 2012 at 22:17
Who cares if the child is a product of incest, rape or outside of wedlock!!
If I adopt a child, I do it for the child that GOD created not for my own interests and benefits whatever that might be.
Every child deserve a home and loving family. If they don’t have one and you can provide for them, that would be the best deed you could ever do.
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[...] أحد تبني أطفال من غزة؟” تتساءل إحدى قارئات مدونة مريم التي كتبت فيها كل ما تعلمته عن التبني في الأردن و [...]
I am a muslim. My husband has three sons from his first marriage and we have one daughter. I want to adopt a child from Gaza because we see everyday what they go thought. My daughter has everything from love to happiness and what money can buy. All I want is to provide a child with a home, joy, love, happiness, education, food, shelter, clothing, etc. I can have more children but I choose not to. The government and the families seeing that they are not in a position to provide these things to children should consider letting us adopt them cause we CAN give them all that and more. It is sad that the government and these family members can think so little and not about a better future for the children. These children will be able to grow up with an education and can help their relatives get better lives. We who want to adopt are not being selfish, we wanna share what we have. Why should the government and relatives be selfish.
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madas Reply:
July 10th, 2011 at 15:00
Very interesting point indeed. In a way i agree with you… i am not sure why should the government decide. But from a different perspective, it is the government responsiblity to protect its subjects. I think there should be some policies that regualate these things
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I wonder why singly parents cannot adopt. More and more women– especially professional women- are failing to find partners and appreciating husbands. In Syria, I understand the law permits the single parent above 38 to adopt. It is a way to permit the child to be raised in a healthy environment away from that of the orphan. Why cannot we lobby– create a pressure group to push the gov of Jordan or that of Palestinian authority to think of this? On one hand, it permits the child, of unknown parents, to live a decent life with a person who can give love, support and good livelihood. it permits on the other hand, single persons to fulfil their needs as mentors, loving parents, having a son/daughter to be with them and to grow with them.
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Madas Reply:
December 31st, 2012 at 11:33
I agree with you and support your call. I think adoption to start with should be allowed under certain conditions that allows the child to know who his/her real parents are and at the same time if he/she has siblings in order to avoid insect marriage. The other condition i see is that adoptive parents should be good enough to adopt a child. I have always wondered what was the point of not allowing children to be adopted by single parents, even though the law would allow single people to care of relative children….I wonder if the blood relation is good enough why can’t a human relation not good enough?!
Lots of questions you raised Oroub.
Thank you
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Hi,
I accidentally found this site and I could not help but to lave a comment.
I am a single young woman who have adopted a baby and a toddler from Palestine (not Gaza, but Ramallah).
I am not Muslim, nor arabic but Caucasian living in Europe.
I am fertile and single, and when I adopted my kids (when I brought them home my daughter was about 8 weeks old, and my son was about 16month old) I was only 21 (now I am 24, just adopted my 3rd baby from russia).
They kids are healthy, smart and is just a bundle of joy!
I do believe Gaza is more strict on their rules but I also do believe its doable.
I hope there will be more children adopted to a safer home so one day they can return home.
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SO Katya please oh please share your steps on how to adopt a child from Palestine.
Trying foster care now.
I am a Palestinan lived United State all my life not by chose Alhamduallah married 20 years tried every thing i know to have a baby Maybe Allah wants me to adopt. IF you can help I would really appreciate it
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Hello Everyone:
I am from Jordan, Irbid currently I live in Houston, Tx. I would like to adopt a baby of 1 year or 2 year of age. I am a professor teach University level. If there any opportunity please let me know asap.
Thank you for who ever read this email
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Hi!
I am an Palestinian woman with 3 Children of my one!
I would like to adopt from Gaza but dont know how!
I am an muslem hom will give them an islamic Life in Sweden!
Plz help me in my way!
Best regards
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I am presently in Jordan working on a Government project for the people of Jordan. My wife and I are 42 and 50 years, respectively. We are American citizens, living in California. We would love to adopt a baby and my wife is very interested, as am I, in adopting a child from here or from one of the refugee orphanages. We are not Muslim, but we love children and both believe they are the greatest gift God has bestowed on all of us. I have read the rules and regulations posted by the Jordanian Government, but it would be a shame if these babies, any baby was forced to be raised in either an orphanage or worse just because of our religious beliefs. Is there a way for parents such as ourselves to work through this in any way? I have about three weeks left in Jordan and will be traveling between Aqaba and Amman off and on. Maybe someone has an idea?
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