My grandmother’s stroke

My grandmother had a stroke on Friday morning. My sister woke up early, and saw that there was something wrong. When she came closer, she realized that my grandmother was unconscious. We rushed her to the hospital. She has become paralyzed on the left side.

On Thursday night, she was perfectly ok, and in a split of a second on Friday morning, we almost lost her.

Teta has been mentioned in many posts. Mostly, because of her controversial character; she is the matriarch, the sun that stands at the center of my family’s universe. She is the kind of person that you can’t ignore; you must acknowledge her presence if you come across her. And that I do.

Since my dad is the eldest son, she has moved to live in with us a few years ago. At the beginning she shared my room. When I reached a point of either going crazy or committing a crime I moved out of my room into a state of homelessness. I got my own room two years ago.

Teta is not chic in anyway… she is oblivious to the fact that other people live with her, and does as she wants without even wondering if what she does affects other people. She interferes in things that have nothing to do with her, and asks the most embarrassing questions in the most inappropriate times, as if it is the most normal thing in the world… and I can’t help but be amused by her incorrectness.

But this is not all.

My grandmother is the ultimate queen of manipulation … she ALWAYS gets what she wants, I sometimes feel squashed under her constant demands and her unstoppable nagging. If she wants something; it seems that it is the only thing in the world that really matters. So usually the whole family ends up succumbing to her demands, if only to stop her.

Among her tools are: sulking, brooding, huffing, and taking the family in torturous guilt trips, dropping casual hints about the days, her sons and daughters were born and how painful that was!

Yesterday, I stood outside her room at the hospital and watched her frail body. A sense of love swept over me. My tiny ferocious grandmother; she has always had the ability to shake her world and change it to shape it as she saw fit. She has never allowed anyone to make her feel inferior because of her gender, even though she was not allowed to go to school because of her gender. She has always spoken with so much confidence, reducing her illiteracy to a tiny insignificant obstacle. She has always been many things… but strength is the one constant attribute in her character.

Hope you get better soon teta!

Ramlinam

December 7th, 2009 at 09:28 · Reply

Sorry to hear on your teta…. You remind me with seedo in ramallah, he has a stroke and i went to the hospital and he was saying goodbye to everyone, then he passed away. I miss him thought … i wish you Teta become better soon..

Madas Reply:
December 8th, 2009 at 16:47

Inshallah. I am at a point that i don’t want her to suffer. She keeps coming back and fourth… she goes away, and talks to other people, and thinks she is at a different place…

Allah yustur

kinzi

December 7th, 2009 at 09:41 · Reply

Mariam, we women have our ways, don’t we? I am so sorry that age has crept up with her, tempered her ferocity, left her weak in body. May God grant her a few more years, perhaps to soften her ways and invite feedback. Your love for her will do just that.

Madas Reply:
December 8th, 2009 at 16:52

Kinzi, I have adjusted to her ways… I think that I even reached a point where I can look beyond, and maybe admire her a bit !

I have been discovering that a lost of women, who were forced to leave school, and have been forced to leaves their homes and give birth to 8 kids and then build their lives have ways that are similar to my grandmother.

As N. says, it is like a chess board and we are her pieces, she moves them because that is what she knows, and we need to understand where she comes from

Linda

December 7th, 2009 at 11:24 · Reply

Hey Sweetie, I’m very sorry to hear about your grandma, hope she will be better soon.
I can totally relate to your description of her being the matriarch of your family – and basically the queen of everything since I grew up with (what I think has to be) your grandma’s twin! But I also learned that this is a particularly tough generation so she might pull through. And if not…. then that’s how it is going to be.
I wish you and all of your family a lot of strength!

Madas Reply:
December 8th, 2009 at 16:56

Linda, you are so right!

This is a particularly tough generation, They have been through a lot and that is what made them what they are… I think their strength is actually admirable. I least our generations knows that we have some strength inside us, that we can use if there is ever a need to.

I miss you. May God give your grandmother all the health in the world, she is a special lady, and she answered a question of where a particular young lady gets her strength from