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Dating Scene in Amman

I have wanted to write a post on the 20- and 30-something singles scene in Amman for a while.  I find the topic fascinating, since it is one of those issues that no one talks about, but it is on everyone’s minds. From 16 year old teenagers who are looking for both love and physical expression to 60 something grandmothers who are pushing their grand children to meet someone for marriage.

For me, the question of the 20- and 30-something singles scene in Amman continues to sadden me with its lamentable stratification and fragmentation — everyone having to keep so many secrets.  It seems that most of the singles in Amman struggle with similar issues — disclosure of who is seeing whom, when to disclose any such liaison, and of course, the steep drop off between the generations, where family members’ opinions are significant  in relationships between adults.   Of course there is the added complication of Muslims and Christians mixing on the dating scene in Amman.

How do people date in Amman?

Based on a comment by a commenter   (age, 26)

When it comes to dating, there are certain rules, you can’t bypass.  Everything from driving around to going out to places, cafes and clubs to making out in a car or a room, gets adapted to those rules.

Location makes all the difference, unless they have the opportunity to make out in one of their parent’s homes “bil salon!” or one of their bedrooms when the parents are not looking (in west Amman) or in a collectively rented apartments, then the car is  the place ! Usually people make out in some remote location. It is usually risky, especially if a policeman happens to be there!

Based on a conversation with Rana from Sahab: (age, 22)

“I have a boyfriend, and I am in a happy relationship. I met him online on one of the forums. We chat, we talk, and we send each other emails. He sends me pictures and songs and writes me poetry. He is my best friend and he knows everything about me.

The only difficulty we face is that we can’t take it offline. When I see him in the street, I keep going as if he is a stranger”

Dating online is becoming very fashionable these days. I have been told that it works too, by that I mean it ends up in marriage, with one adjustment though–they don’t allow each other to chat or go online after marriage!

Based on a conversation with Mo (age 31)

“For me, we go out to have a drink or coffee, a brunch, a lunch a dinner… either in a group or alone.  It is not so shocking to see people, sitting so close to each other in certain places; it is not shocking to see them holding hands.  Dancing in a night club is usually a good place to get physically close. But really what we do is either drive around, meet at our married friends’ house to play cards, or talk.  We talk over the phone for hours every night!” (to the delight of telecoms)

Based on a conversation with Ghada from Jabal Natheef (age 24)

Dating in our side of the world can be defined in stolen glances.  I know I am dating when the guy stops to look at me, whenever I cross the street. Sometimes, when no one is looking, we exchange a hello.

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30 comments to Dating Scene in Amman

  • Thats sad …. sounds like highschool all over again? how would those people know what really is required to make a relationship work if they are sheltered from getting real hurt by those relationships. All those people are talking about activities that one would think have taken place earlier on in their lives, makes one think about what kind of relationship people in the previous generations had.
    One added dimension to all of this is that in the past the roles of each person in a relationship was cast in a mold and made things easier. right now after those molds have been broken, you can’t maintain the same tradition of courtship.

    Reply

  • “Usually people make out in some remote location. It is usually risky, especially if a policeman happens to be there!”
    what i heard recently, that if someone is 100 something meters away from the main street ( am not sure the distance though ), then s/he can do anything, as long as no one can see what’s happening! this was said by a policeman to a friend of mine!

    anyways ..

    you’ve been missed :)

    Cheers!

    Reply

  • Omar

    Wow…good thing your not looking at the younger generation, cause making out: not a problem anymore, its become so bad in west amman that people younger then i am get into clubs easier then people my age or older based on someone they know and the things that happens inside, not to far off from primetime tv

    Reply

    Madas Reply:

    interesting… but I am not surprised. i think society has changed a lot or have been changing a lot… I am not sure to what direction, and i am not sure what will happe eventually…

    Reply

  • what kinda sad “7azana” samples u got there! not to mention that miserable 26 year old…where to make out 2al!

    Reply

    Madas Reply:

    Come on… don’t be too harsh… I don’t think this is a sad sample… I think this is a realistic view… i mean lets ask around how many people have to make out in cars because they don’t have a place.

    Actually you just inspired me for another post :)

    Reply

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  • Nancy

    I would hope that anyone who is happily married in their 20’s and 30’s will share the love and invite the singles in their 20’s and 30’s to meet in the privacy of their house and not tell the conservative older generation.

    Reply

    Madas Reply:

    That is a nice idea… but revolutionary :) older conservative people will be very angry to read your suggestion :) but i love it.

    Reply

  • Haitham Al-Sheeshany

    This was interesting to read :) .
    Things have changed big time for sure!

    Liked most of the comments, some -though- were off target I suppose, all in all this was good to read & tag-along.

    thax,
    H.

    Reply

  • Hey can someone point a good website about How find the perfect dating partner?`..

    Reply

  • Thanks for the Information, thanks for your useful Post. I will come back later ? Also great information about flirting : Singles

    Reply

  • i love dating coz i like to mingle with other people and know them better~:.

    Reply

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  • Dee

    I think that the people who wrote has no idea about life in Amman. Let me tell you exactly how things are . You see here …It all depends on the girl,s age, if she is in 20s she has it in the car . at age 30s the guy usually rents an apartment with his friends and they bring their girls to the apartment . They do not have group sex. But she ends up having it wz all the other guys once her boyfriend drops her. At age 30 till 50 she becomes desperat to marry so she starts dating married men and have sex with them at their offices after closing hours some might even marry secretly. Af 50 if she is lucky she will be having an apartment of her own and she selects the man she wants to have . Or she becomes religious and decide that there is no love in the world.

    Reply

    Madas Reply:

    Wow, this is such a pessimistic view on both women and life in Amman. I am sure some women are like that, but i assure you this is not how EXACTLY things are :)

    Reply

  • Dee

    Thanx for your comment please note that what i wrote surely does not apply for everybody … Some have better views —- or worse views ….but here most women like to play the part that they have never known any man and hv no sexual desires whereas they are desperately looking for a man ,

    Reply

    Madas Reply:

    I, partly, see what you are saying. Women play games, because they have needs that can’t be fulfilled, or in other words, the price for these needs is sometimes too high in our society. Men and women were designed in a way where they can’t exist without one another. However,in the same token the society favors one of them over the other, so it condones what one does but not the other. So women know that they have strict limits and they go by them…

    It is life!

    Reply

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  • cat

    interesting reading, I would like to hear any comments from locals in Amman (or anyone else) about how a western guy with a younger Jordanian girlfriend would be viewed/or if this is ok in Jordan. Thanks.

    Reply

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