Eid and the gifts ritual

Eid is here!

Eid brings many thoughts about the way we celebrate it in this part of the world.

Usually, my dad goes to Salat al Eid with my uncles. And as soon as they finish, they start what I call “the door to door ritual.” This involves strong coffee with cardamom and ka3k il eid dates cookies… they visit their father’s grave and then go from house to house. They start with the eldest of their five sisters; they go through the rest of them and then visit their uncles and aunts. They might visit one or two distant relatives and end their tour by visiting their married daughters. Usually they are back home by 9:00 AM!

The very same people they visited in the morning return the visit in the afternoon! And while this seems useless, it has been done in my family for as long as I remember.

This thought brought to my mind a very warm Christmas memory in London. That year, I could not go home, because tickets were disgracefully expensive, so I stayed in London. I convinced my flat mates to have a proper Christmas, and they agreed. We did not buy a tree but decorated the big plant that we had and ended up having a very funky tree.

This was not the highlight of my Christmas. We ended up spending Christmas day with my flat mate’s family. In their house and after going through the beautiful meal. We engaged into the ritual of opening the gifts.

Apparently every year, they buy each other many gifts (that was surprising and embarrassing, because I bought whole family one gift! but left their house with several gifts!) in their case, a lot of thought goes into those gifts. They buy each other nice gifts, but also useless gifts that would make them laugh. For example, the lady is a very sensitive human being who cares about her house and what gets displayed. So her husband bought her a 1X1 meter book to display on her coffee table! The book was about human anatomy and had gruesome pictures and illustrations!! I did not know these people well, but one look at the book was enough to make me laugh… it really was funny in their context.

The point is, buying gifts, looked simple from the first view, but the more they went into them, the more I realized how difficult it was. It could not work, expect in families that have strong awareness of each other… I am not talking about good relationships, but strong in the sense that family members are unafraid to confront each other and are very honest about their feelings, their power dynamics and their issues. Not only that, but they also have to know each other well…. They have to know what makes them tick, what makes them laugh and what would be appreciated…. needless to say; a lot of internal jokes were unearthed that day.

I truly felt that the ritual was both enjoyable and engaging, it was much deeper than the cold ritual we have in my family… seeing people that we only and literally see from Eid to Eid… where they come in for ten minutes, drink coffee, eat cookies, exchange fake social pleasantries and then leave….

Maybe I should start the gift exchanging ritual with my own family, especially that we have 4 young boys now in the family… I would like to bring some fun back to the Eid, make our boys enjoy it and love it…

On that note…Happy Eid everyone.