Is it annoying to take children to the mosque?
Grizzly was entertaining me with some anecdotes, including incidents that took place during Salat Al Tarawee7. As he was praying a few days ago, the man beside him did not take a breath between saying Al Salam Alaikum (an indication of the end of the prayer) and shouting at the kids who were playing, running around, and making noise during the prayer. The stream of words ran like this: Salam Alaikum… GO HOME… NOW… Allahu akbar!
However what I found really amusing was Salamu Alaikom followed by a jolt to find a woman beggar sitting there with her baby, waiting till the men finished praying in order to get a few JDs….
Grizzly’s stories are some of many stories I have been hearing lately about people taking their children (ages begin from a few months on) to the mosque. A friend was telling me that while she was trying hard to focus on meditation and humility, her mind was taken over by one thought; how she wished she could slap the 3 little girls, who were standing behind her back, watching the praying men from the window and giggling excited! The girls were settling world’s affairs, while worshipers were trying to listen in the most absolute silence.
In other words فاتحين دواوين
In yet another incident, my sister was commenting on a woman who was at the mosque with her toddler. The baby was, rightfully, upset being out of home at that late hour and so she started crying … my sister expected the mother to leap immediately out of the mosque in order not to disturb the other women … but the lady sat there بكل نياطة as if annoying every single woman there was a perfectly respectable thing to do!… some women eventually got fed up with her and told her off… she resisted a bit, but then took the baby and ambled out of the mosque so slowly, oblivious to all the women who were waiting patiently for her highness to leave in order to start praying… Her actions almost sound blasphemous!
I wonder why she had to wait till someone gave her a piece of their mind in order to do the decent thing? Is it lack of common sense? Is it selfishness? Is it bad manners?
Since it is Ramadan… I would like to cast my cynicism aside and think that parents take children to the mosque only because they feel it is important to raise children with a strong attachment to their religion.… and not for any other reasons… but part of me still finds it selfish, completely tasteless and an indication of ignorance to take children and leave them unattended. I mean if a parent insists that their children have to go to the mosque, the least they should do is make sure that they pray next to them so that they behave and not distract those who are actually there to pray.
And then…at that point, when people stop being selfish, even in practicing religion… maybe then, we could become a better nation.
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This is one of those posts that makes me smile, ‘family of man’ style. We all struggle with similar issues. Selfishness in practicing religion is certainly a bani Adam phenomenon.
Churches have been going round and round on this one. To make a young child sit still for .75-3 hours quietly is practically child abuse, yet we want them to be connected to the community of faith(Catholics have shorter services, but kids must remain very silent. Pentecostals have longer services, but have opportunities for kids to be vocal and physical).
Most churches have a ‘cry room’ were moms of infants can care for little ones, can listen and participate but not interrupt the worship. Some churches have “Sunday School” at the same time as the adult service, but then the community aspect is gone. Some churches have the kids stay in service, to retain community, but moms bring a bag of paper, crayons and snacks to keep them interested. Our church here keeps the kids in service for singing and prayer, then the 3-5 kids go for ‘Childrens Church’ with a Bible study, craft and activity.
I’ll have to ask the Muslimahs what they do in mosques in America.
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Madas Reply:
September 6th, 2009 at 17:42
Kinzi,
I like the idea of taking crayons and papers to keep children interested… also i like the idea of parents attending to the needs of their kids and not just leave them roam arounf like feral cats… hey it would be a great idea of you ask muslimahs in America… i am curious
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Salam Madas,
I am a Muslim American living in Amman. I have done Tarawih in America and here in Amman. I can relate to the stories you are mentioning. While, I do understand that SOME parents are bringing their children for religious reasons and want them to be a part of our traditions, there has to be a limit. There are too many parents (in both countries) who bring the kids just because the mother wants to attend the prayer and wouldn’t be able to attend without dragging along her kids. So, she lets them run rampant in the mosque and outside without any regards to their behavior. This is unexcuseable.
In America we did have some mosques with an enclosed, sound-proof room for nursing mothers or ones with toddlers. This is a great help in keeping down the noise. Unfortunately, I have yet to see this in Jordan. There have to be limits especially in Ramadan so that others can enjoy their prayer in peace.
I choose not to go here in Amman, because I know what my children can handle. There will come a time for me to attend when my children are older and are also participating in the full prayer. Until that time, I pray in my home. I wish others would consider this as well.
I will continue to follow your blog, it is new to me. Ramadan Kareem.
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Your post prompted a post-response from me, via Kinzi. Thanks!
http://southernmuslimah.blogspot.com/2009/09/masjid-kiddies.html
Nice blog, by the way.
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Madas Reply:
September 7th, 2009 at 21:34
Thank you… ahlan wa sahlan… any time… i read your blog often actually
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Madas, there you have it. Two of my fav Mommy Muslimahs.
Um Omar and Umm Farouq, Madas is one of my fav Urduniyya bloggers. Hope you enjoy as much as I do.
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Madas Reply:
September 7th, 2009 at 18:42
lol! Thank you… I appreciated reading new perspectives…you are one of my fav. readers… so here you go
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YES!! Very annoying! and lol @ your friend who was overcome by the desire to slap the girls. I can so relate unfortunately. Also, it’s great that women told that cold blooded woman off, I wish more people would do that… I wish I would do that
I am not against bringing your kids to the mosque per se, I am against letting them run riot/cry without doing anything.. It is fine to break her prayer and comfort the child for the benefit of the others, so why not? Dont people realise that al-a25laa2 are the cornerstone of Islam?
To add to the story, I was praying taraweeh a few years ago, and these 3 kids, not little by any strecth of the imagination as one was 13, were running around playing, screaming etc. and their mum did nothing. I did nothing as I was shy to discipline the old children of a woman 20 years my senior! Bas 2adeet al-ra73aat da3awee 3alaihom 2o 3ala 2imhom! As my mum would say, some people are just the centres of the their own universes.
Ramadan Kareem madas
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Madas Reply:
September 8th, 2009 at 19:50
Ramadan Kareem to you as well
after moving back to Amman, i just stopped being shy for some reason…. I now would have no problem to tell people off if they bother me… I always tell people to stand in line if they don’t respect the line and if they come in front of me for example… i think a lot of people are ignorant… and they need to know if they don’t know…
I like the way you dealt with your situation… da3eti 3aleihom… maybe God will take care of teaching them what they need to know
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as salaamualakum,
I came here because I have be blessed with a baby Alhamdulilah. As I do my salaah (@ home) my baby cries. I, out of ignorence, didn’t know what to do so, I came to look for answers and stummbled accross this site. I am wondering if the best thing is to break salah tend to baby and then do salaah again(what a hassle!)? would my salah be nulified if i pat the baby or give him his pacifer while in salah? i want to please Allah, HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Madas Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 19:55
Thanks
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First of ALL this article is wrong on so many levels. May ALLAH guide you brother! It is such a shame that a woman should be punished just because she has a baby and she wants to perform her duties during Ramadan just as much as you do.
What makes you think whatever you are saying is fair for this woman?? Who are you to even say what that woman did in the mosque is blasphamous??!! IF that woman never sets a foot in that mosque it will be upon all those women who kicked her out of the mosque to answer for it in the day of judgement and INSHALLAH they will. THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!!! PROPHET SAW even shortened the prayer if he heard a baby cry in the backround at the masjid. He NEVER turned around and said don’t bring your children to the masjid.. Children are our future .. if we are not to bring them to the masjid while their young to get them used to the atmosphere, when are we supposed to bring them? When they are 15? When they are sooooo detached from their UMMAH?? ARE YOU willing to answer for them in the day of JUDGEMENT??!!! DONT YOU EVER SAY people should not bring their kids to the mosque! Especially during RAMADAN!! THAT IS THE ONLY TIME THAT CHILDREN LOOK FORWARD TO .. WHEN THE MOSQUE IS FILLED AND JOLLY .. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR WRITING THIS ARTICLE!! I THINK IT IS SELFISH FOR PEOPLE TO ASK FOR OTHERS TO NOT BRING THEIR CHILDREN!! OBVIOUSLY YOU DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR ONE LITTLE CHILD! WHEN YOU COME TO THE MOSQUE TO PRAY DISTRUPTION IS EXPECTED! CHILDREN SHOULD BE THE FIRST ONES THERE IN LINE WITH YOU! TRY AND PRAY IN HOOSHOO IN THAT ATMOSPHERE, TEST YOUR PATIENCE IN THAT ATMOSPHERE, THAT IS THE TEST WHEN YOU COME TO THE MASJID, ANYONE CAN PRAY IN A QUIET MASJID, BUT THE CONSEQUENCE OF THAT IS YOUR YOUTH WILL BE LOST FOREVER, AND YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE! CAN YOU ANSWER TO THAT IN THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT?!
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