Comments on: Why don’t men break the umbilical cords that attach them to their mothers?

By: Caroline

Caroline — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:22:05 +0000

I think it is a worldwide phenomenon and very much prevalent in India.

By: Shirlee Mcdewitt

Shirlee Mcdewitt — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 05:25:40 +0000

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By: My Favorite Blogs of 2009 « 7aki Fadi

My Favorite Blogs of 2009 « 7aki Fadi — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:09:46 +0000

[...] Why don’t men break the umbilical cords that attach them to their mothers? [...]

By: Madas

Madas — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:04:59 +0000

Hi, welcome to muy blog.

Yes, it is very reasonable to think from her point of view. But it is really really difficultto have to deal with marriage and life in general , let alone having to worry about mother in law’s mental health issues! I mean i think couples should have a close relatinship with their families. But nt beyond the point where it is affecting their own relationship.

By: Marj

Marj — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:48:54 +0000

I think it would only be fair to look at the mother-in-laws point of view. I am not Jordanian but if I were to speculate I would say there seems to be a kind of insecurity maybe? She spent her life devoted to the house, perhaps most of the kindness she received was from her kids and not her husband, and then the kids grow up- who is there then? They leave and as she sees her youth fall off her year after year like petals from a flower she contemplates her own future. Perhaps she witnesses fellow friends and family she grew up with getting sick or being mistreated and there develops an inherent fear of her own future. What will happen to her? Will someone take care of her? Will she be alone? Or perhaps left with a husband with the emotional equivalence of a pail of rocks? I am thinking perhaps these deep maybe subconscious fears cause them to over react, fight for control. I have met a few Jordanians and have to admit you guys are not the most optimistic people. Perhaps in her mind she feels she needs to stay number one in her children’s life for fear of becoming nothing.

By: fatim

fatim — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:25:08 +0000

wow, it is certainly a surprise for me to know men are so attached to their mothers in that part of the world. i know in-laws are much more authoritative but not to this extent. In my country , women tend to not get so attached to their sons or their lives u can say to avoid all of the drama that can happen, all they want is for them to be happy and do their own thing. we have an expression that says, ” inshala s3idin wa b3idin ” which means with gods will they stay happy and far. they still have the normal mother son relationship tho , its not like they abandoned their parents.

am really confused about the men in jordan, with all do respect they come out to be all manly and really i duno it does not look so gd. i have meet so many examples , my head will explode i cant understand nor comprehend anymore, i cant understand the way they think or act or what they want smtimes. they dnt really speak abt anything that is considered normal ( which to them is very personal) , everything is on the surface to them. couldnt really dig in.

so its interesting to know this ..

well to be fair i only read the women part , i wish i can read a blog similar to this one except with a males voice, i might get some more insight as to how men think and justify their actions.

again , salute all Jordanian men really no offense , god bless ..i hope

By: Madas

Madas — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 19:33:31 +0000

Agreed. i think there is definitely a line between being a good son and allowing mother to ruin your life… the problem is that a lot of women enjoy ruling their kids’ lives… which makes me wonder if it is a need for attention and feeling of power after a feeling of helplessness… and if so then where does this helplessness come from?

By: UmmFarouq

UmmFarouq — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 10:54:07 +0000

What a great post. So, so true. How many marriages have been tainted, if not ruined, by mothers who won’t let go; conversely, how many have been ruined by husbands who will not let that cord be broken? There is a fine line between being dutiful to one’s mother and letting Mama rule your life of decision-making.

By: Madas

Madas — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:50:12 +0000

… Thant is nice… I appreciate him reading the post.

Think about it like that if I criticized another country, I would be considered underdeveloped or ignorant… I guess that is the beauty of being an Arab … I can constructively criticize my society, and it would be ok.

By: kinzi

kinzi — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 04:08:21 +0000

oh yea, ‘hiyaati’, it is def living through the child, which keeps a deeper marital intimacy from happening and hooks kids in an unhealthy way. It also sidelines the man as a husband and a father.

(My husband read this post, btw, he rarely reads blogs, and was impressed with your insight. He also said “Kinzi, if you ever wrote anything like this, you would get slammed as a stereotyping colonialist”)