losing virginity to sports?
It must be women’s virginity that is the issue here…for how can a man possibly lose his virginty to sports?
H. was telling me today, how she will never pardon her parents for not allowing her to play sports when she was younger… they never explained. They gave her excuses such as it is 3eib for a girl to be playing basketball, or swimming or riding a bike.
She is a very independent, mobile and an adventurous spirit. Her parents have zero objections to boyfriends, camping or traveling.. basically, any of the luxuries that other young women would not even dare request.. this has always been the case.… but sports were not a negotiable matter… in their case, they trust her.. They know that she will never lose her virginity to a man outside wedlock…
But sports… oh boy… they are a treacherous enemy!
I have been asking around if sports can indeed cause loss of virginity. Most health professionals I asked, agree that normally, playing sports does not cause a woman to lose her virginity. However, it is possible for a woman’s hymen to become stretched open through playing sports. This is why the condition of the hymen is not necessarily a proof of virginity. Virginity is a state of mind rather than a physical state.
There are many different beliefs about what losing one’s virginity means. Most people agree that women and men lose their virginity the first time they have penile-vaginal intercourse. Or through oral and anal sex for non-straight sex. (even though the hymen remains intact) so based on this belief, non consensual sex, for example in the case of rape, women do not lose their virginity even though the hymen is ruptured.
Unfortunately, in our side of the world, generally, people think of virginity in a different way. Most people believe that an intact hymen is proof of a woman’s virginity. Which is the root cause of most oppression women get imposed to, including not being allowed to play sports because of the fear that a girl could loose her virginity. By the way, I just read in an article that people who start having sex at a younger or older than average age appear to be at greater risk of developing sexual health problems later in life.
Virginity is a state of mind! Totally agree!
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It all depends on the fundamental cause of the loss of the virginity in reference; comparing & contrasting the cause will give us some rudimentary answers. It basically hinges on whether it is lost due to voluntary causes, by coercion, or in advertently. If it is lost due to the first cause then it is bingo, but if it is the second or third then it is debatable. As sane adults we are responsible for our own actions and we are absolved of other actions that was imposed on us under duress or occurred during the commission of athletic activity. In western cultures virginity is not viewed with the same level of zeal the way it is viewed in the Middle East. Some cultures view it as a liability rather than asset, they try to get rid of it as expeditiously as possible, and when the individual efforts to breach it fails they hire or request a confidante to manually poach it. Copulation & virginity are dissymmetrical, anal and oral sex doesn’t constitute a breach of virginity since the hymn remains unperturbed. Doctors and scientist are jittery about early & late sex for the same reason and that is the spread of sexually transmitted diseases among people with multiple partners.
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Off topic… interesting new design and colors
I kind of liked the tree branches embracing the sky more though, but I love this new color!
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No matter how we could argue this subject, it goes back to the plain idea of you’re either THIS or THAT! I rather play the safe side rather then being accused of such a humiliating subject.
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I find myself saying so what if it happened? but at the same time I’d adapt Batoul’s idea of avoiding being accused.
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Qwaider, Based on this… human beings must a develop a great amount of honesty… do you think our society is tolerant enough?
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Hatem,
You articulated your point very well here, I still believe that virginity is a state of mind… some women are very virgins physically… however they ahve lost both virginity and innocence long long long time agao!
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Lina… yes i like it too… but it feels a bit too sentimental for my state of mind these days
I am in the red. adventurous mood!
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Batool… yes i definitely see your point… why go through the hasstle and the pain of explaining?
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i have to totally agree with u. very nicely written.
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Jad.. have not seen you in a while… I think our society lacks the fundamental value of honesty and not judging each other… We jump to conclusions before we even listen to what is being said… This means that yes it is better to avoid the problem that face the consequences!
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Verbal Alchemy.. thanks for your comment… i am glad someone agrees
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Madas,
it should be acceptable since it’s happening in the same society where you’d lose your shoes in the prayer place and which you cannot put your forehead on and not because you are obsessed about personal-hygiene.
Talking of listening, if we listen we wouldn’t be where we are now.
p.s: you never replied to my emails :@
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True
I like what you said about lost shoes and personl hygiene.
I never recieved any emails from you
do you honestlt think that i would not reply?!!! seriously… think about it like this, i reply to my blog comments one by one… what about emails?!!! of course i would… please resend them, or write me another email to tell me what they were about, and i will reply…
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I’m with our society’s point of you on this issue,those are our moral and traditional beliefs that we grew up on..however..when thinking from an outside perspective I find it too demanding on women/young girls who are human beings simply created that way..whether sports or other causes effects their bodies or not..is just smth that they can not control.
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The problem with society’s point of view is that it is hypocritical… ya3ni… society would not care if a woman who is “virgin”, has oral or anal sex as long as no one knows… Or a woman who did a restoration operation to restore virginity…
If i were a man, and were of the type that cares about a woman’s viginity(which i don’t think i would be, but i am not a man… so i don’t know) I prefer someone who believes in something because they believe in it and not someone who is forced into acting upon something…
I think pressure is one both men and women…
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I never thought about sports and virginity before. But, it makes sense that a girl who vigorously exercises could stretch her hymen.
I guess that I still don’t understand the obsession with women appearing to be virgins. I just don’t believe in any sort of double standards for men and women. I am sure that nearly every Jordanian man who gets married is not a virgin, so who should a women be?
I agree with the article that really young people having sex is not a good thing. In addition to risking disease, there can be a lot of emotional damage. As far as older people waiting to have sex, it is not necessarily bad. Maybe they are just waiting for the right person, or waiting to share love with someone special.
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who = why
sorry, I’m getting tired
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Hmm… i am not sure where to start explaining this… This obsession with virginity is important not only in the Middle east. But in a lot of places around the world, such as The mediterranean countries, or Latin America , or even Gypsy communities to anme a few… it is an obssession as old as history itself… or could it be as old as organized religions?
The problem is there is this belief that family honour depends on virginity…. in case of men, there is no possible way of determining whether a man is virgin or not, in case of women, a simple trip to the doctor is enough…. so here we go.
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oh i deffinetly agree! was a gymnist myself for 8 years as a kid, and it was a big worry for my parents so they pulled me out altho it was a passion of mine!
bil nihayeh i believe its all a mindset, fi banat they have never been touched yet they talk filth and manipulate men whichever way they can!
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I think the emphasis on virginity for women in some societies may date back to the time when women were considered as property to be bought and sold. The price for a virgin would be higher, I am guessing, because there would be no doubt that the woman was not pregnant with another man’s child when she was sold into marriage. Does this make sense?
In some cultures, the bride is bought from her family with money, precious items, or animals. In other countries, the brides family has to bribe the grooms family to take her with a large dowry. It seems so weird to me. In the former instance, the bride is greatly valued, in the latter, the wife is valueless and is considered a burden.
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I think the emphasis on virginity for women in some societies may date back to the time when women were considered as property to be bought and sold. The price for a virgin would be higher, I am guessing, because there would be no doubt that the woman was not pregnant with another man’s child when she was sold into marriage. Does this make sense?
In some cultures, the bride is bought from her family with money, precious items, or animals. In other cultures, the bride’s family has to bribe the groom’s family to take her with a large dowry. It seems so weird to me. In the former instance, the bride is greatly valued, in the latter, the wife is valueless and is considered a burden.
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Sorry for double comment. I had trouble posting the first time. Please read the second comment, as I edited it slightly. Delete this and the first comment if you like.
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Hi Miriam! I love this post – it’s so reminiscent of arguments I had with my family a long time ago. I never understood why my mom was so freaked out about me riding a bike or doing other tomboyish activities. It wasn’t until later that I understood what was behind it all, and it’s exactly what you describe!
Just FYI, I’ve tagged you – check my blog for more info.
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Tagged: What you MUST do before turning 18…
I’ve been tagged! Tololy has tagged me and I now have to come up with a list of 6 things one should do…
I haven’t visited this blog since ages. Didn’t know how much I was missing:)
It is just part of the whole mentality of our society. It is not just about virginity, that is just an issue among many. Generally speaking our society is over protective when it comes to their daughters, sisters, wives etc. mostly they take religion to legitimize it and if not they try forming a logic of “customs and traditions” that one should stick to.
On the other hand virginity is a sensitive worldwide, its not just in our part of the world:) but I guess the problem lies on how parents deal with their kids regarding this issue. The more they try to be protective the more they are doing wrong. If they were open and explained everything at the right age, it would make things so much simpler and less awkward
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Hey Ohoud,
Thank for your comment… I always keep my eye on your blog, i don’t comment as much… but i should do that more often.
There are lots of school of thought on this issue… families are usually not equipped to deal with this issue… and they keep postponing it, hoping that the children will get it somehow… I was just reading something when a girl was going to get married and her friend explained to her what happens at wedding night, and she cried her heart out repeated constantly no self respectabl;e man would do something like this!
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Hey Lulu… I also keep my eye on the development of your bambino
he is big now… i can’t believe how quickly time passes… please give my hellos to H-man… I have not seen him in years now, but i still remember him fondly 
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Hello, I was reading this and found it quite interesting. Really it is just a state of mind. And what one believes most importantly. One may say that you are not a virgin if you had sex. But then again there is more than just one way of actually having ‘’sex” Oral, Anal and etc. Like posted earlier. Second, I my whole life have been a extremely athletic person, Gymnastics, Running, Swimming, Horse back riding, White water rafting and Martial arts. Gymnastics caused a few injurys, including falling on the balance beam multiple times inbetween my legs or in strange positions on the floor. Horse back riding also was very rough on your body, and Martial arts as well sense I could do the splits and I competed in fighting and got hit many times in multiple areas, Once again this caused injurys…But the point of all of this is that when I got older..and finaly did have sex there was no blood. There was pain because i was still small and tight, and the deeper he went the more it hurt, but there was no blood because the Hymen had already broke years and years ago, when I am not sure…but there was plenty of oppurtunitys for it to break. This never worried me, or even crossed my mind back then cause that was my life, athletics, sports etc. It was what i was raised doing. So yes…it depends on what one believes…I do not think that because my lifestyle was adventurous, and athletic that it ruined who and what I was, that it took my virginity..no I do not believe that. But others may…So in all truth my favorite thing was..Virginity is a state of mind..and that is extremely true.
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Matt Reply:
September 12th, 2010 at 05:21
i agree
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Thank you for your message, Thank you for the information you provided, you were generous and informative. I totally beleieve that virginity is a state of mind, however, this is not the case at our isde of the world… i have worked with cases, where women would definitely die if their hymen was not ruptured…. it saddens me to think of the amount of awareness we need in our world…
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i agree. we can never be pure all the time. but its the effort put forth that is worth it in the end. <3
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@ Matthew
There are plenty marriages that are impure by lovelesness, indifference to hatred as those where rape takes place by the husband from hatred for the wife.
There are ‘one night stands’ that ‘pass as ships in the night’ and are utmost pure in love expressed.
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Madas Reply:
February 28th, 2010 at 06:53
Agreed. It is something that happens in thw west as much as in the East, if not more…. there is a lot of impurity, and to be perfectly clear… no one is perfect
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Dude! I was thinking “virginity is a state of mind” when I read the title. Great post. People need to be educated about such subjects that are, to an extent, taboo’d in our society.
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madas Reply:
September 12th, 2010 at 09:05
Thank you for your kind words! I agree, people need to be aware and learn.
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well, this is not the reality.. its right but not in our life, girl is being judge by something stupid but its our society and eventually maybe one day something will Chang.. I hope so
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Dear all, who are interested you can read this article : http://www.active.com/fitness/Articles/Many_successful_women_say_sports_teaches_valuable_lessons.htm?cmp=1747&fb_ref=articles&fb_source=home_oneline
Dear Mariam Thank you so much for this article it has a very powerful msg ! And let me share the community mind in sports ! Yes they always afraid of losing virginity on sports ! I ride Bike till now although I am 22 years old ! and yes they always tell mama and dad that she should STOP doing this ! its 3eeb ! she is “kbeereh”.. w “ma ys7esh” .. and this culture !
And I totally agree that Virginity is a state of mind rather than a physical state.
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Thank you for the comment. I think we are so misinformed about the role of sports in our lives for our psychosocial wellbeing. Women are deprived and so they start getting depressed and gain weight… it just needs some awareness
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