Inheritance (uncles and daughters!)
A close friend of my dad’s passed away last week. Not only was the news shocking, they were also very upsetting. His death came unexpectedly. He was preparing a salad alone at home, when he had a heart attack. He was found a few hours later, with his tomato half cut, and the tap water still running.
His death brought many thoughts to my mind; among them is that he left a young wife and three daughters to struggle with life alone. I always thought one of the reasons for getting married is that I wanted my husband to grow old with me… (This will sound tacky and mushy.) But my illusions about marriage revolved around wanting my husband to tell me I am pretty in my forties, when men no longer try to flirt with me. To need me in my fifties, when my children are independent and no longer need me, to be my companion in my sixties when I am too old to make new friends, and to be kind and tender with me in my seventies, when it is the only thing that really matters… and of course for the taboo sex as well. I realized that it just does not work like that… Here is this woman in her forties… she must have had similar illusions, when she first got married, but ended up losing her illusions in a split of a second. (I am not saying that women get married only for these reasons…we get married for love, companionship, children, stability, freedom from society’s tyranny, , sexual frustration, bank accounts, status, power, family name, loneliness,… and many other many reasons but this is not our topic)
This lady is still in her forties. As a mother of three young ladies… and a woman who had been married for almost twenty years…. well… lets be honest here, her chances of meeting someone to be tender in her seventies ( A number that is still thirty years away) are a bit less than zero! In all cases… it will be considered inappropriate for her to remarry, let alone have any form of a relationship with a man.
Tomorrow her daughters will all get married, or find their paths in life, and she will be left alone… The sad truth is that woman has been condemned to loneliness and isolation the moment her husband died. ( not that this is the issue now, I am sure she is too sad to even think about food … so of course she is not thinking about these intellectual exercises I am applying here… I mean she might never even want to leave the house again, let alone thinking about marriage or men or anything of the sort… I am just arguing a hypothetical case here.)
I just remembered someone I met while living in the states. A sixty something man, who was moving in with his fifty something girlfriend… they were both widowed. They met, fell in love with each other and moved in together. This makes me wonder… How come society in the west is kinder and more merciful to people? How come standards in our society are too high for our own good? How come society does not acknowledge our needs for intimacy, love and companionship as human beings?
(I am reading The Citadel Children by Ziad Al Qasem these days… and I just came upon a character whose son in at the university and had just been widowed… the point where I stopped yesterday is that someone came to ask the son for his mother’s hand… so maybe widows chances are more than zero?)
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Let’s forget this long term thought and get to more pressing issues. This woman does not work, and the only source of income until last week had come from her husband’s work… however this is not a problem since her husband made enough money to permit her and their high school daughters to live comfortably. During his life, he also sustained his old mother and supported his brothers and their families … (They are not as comfortable as he was)
The problem is that he had no sons. This automatically means that his brothers have the right to inherit a certain percentage of what he left. A right that would have been lost had only, one of the many X chromosomes in their daughters been a Y… alas… the Y chromosome was illusive and with it their full inheritance.
The question is: what happens now to the wife and daughters when the uncles come and take the money? They might not be forced to go hungry, or work for living or any of those horrific stories that we hear about every day of our lives…. no… But with that percentage gone, they will no longer be able to afford the comfortable life that their father spent his entire life (literally) sweating so that they can have.
His work, all his dreams for them, will have to be compromised because they are not boys or at least none of them is a boy…well… of course the idea behind this law is that their male folk are supposed to see that they are well taken care of, this is why they take their money…. however in this case, their men folk are barely making ends meet… and have enough on their plates to chew…. and this money would not help anyone, once it is distributed this way, but would have made a difference for the daughters.
Ok will stop now, to go work a bit more on our Zoo… I am not sure, who is enjoying the collage more… my nephew or myself! So far we have a lion, a sheep (which is supposed to be the lion’s food… only it is too cute to be eaten by the lion) two Zebras ( a mother and a baby) one Giraffe and one huge glittery Elephant!
![IMG_0150[1]](http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8168/7466787830_1ae1104b5d_m.jpg)
![IMG_0154[1]](http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8163/7466765652_6c4f552399_m.jpg)
![IMG_0152[1]](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7253/7466761766_eb112ee6a3_m.jpg)
![IMG_0157[1]](http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7112/7466755688_2f25b64758_m.jpg)
Oh Madas, this is too horrible for words. Laura Haddad wrote a great article for VIVA on inheritance a few issues ago that opened my eyes to the in-equity of this system.
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Yeah, inheritance is just another in-equality in this system… another law that needs to be revisted.
However to the credit of the system at least everyone inherits unlike in the west where only the eldest son inherits, and the rest of the family eat their hearts out with jealousy! ( that is truly unjust!)
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Hhhmmm…it’s not that way in the US. The owner of the estate chooses to whom and how to divide up the goods. I remember that sort of thing in Sense and Sensibility (not P&P, right?)it definitely was in England, but I believe late 19th century reforms changed that as well.
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There’s no in-equality here. This is a completely fair thing.
First of all, if the wife had a son she would inherit only one eighth of the husband’s estate. But since she doesn’t, she inherits One quarter. This Quarter might be more than what her son would inherit
Second the daughters will also get their share. Now because there is no son here the uncles will also inherit. The uncles have a responsibility towards the girls and are held accountable for providing for them ON TOP of their inheritance
The Islamic inheritance system gave women 1400 years ago, what she was denied completely in the US only in the 1950’s. The eligibility to inherit.
As for older women remarrying, sadly, our history is filled with tales of how older women got remarried, our modern society is what’s intolerant to this.
Mohammad himself married a 15 year older woman, and lived happily with her. All the sa7aba did this.
My mother’s uncle did exactly that. He found an older widow, got married to her, and became the grandparent of her children. They’re such a wonderful happy older couple. So the society is not ad dark and gloomy as you might think
Here’s what’s going to happen:
Wife gets 1/8
Girls get 2/3
Everyone else, the rest
which means: The wife and girls take 80% of what’s left, while everyone else (including the uncles, the grandparents..etc get 20%) The uncles and the grand parents still awe a debt to support the girls.
If they had a son, here’s what the wife and the girls would get
Wife 1/8
Girls 3/5 of the rest
son 2/5 of the rest
(which means the wife and girls will actually get less)
Add to that that the wife will get her “Mo2akhar” or dowry at this time.
Inna lillah, wa inna elayhi raji3oon.
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I would appreciate it from anyone who doesn’t know the laws of inheritance not to pass judgement on it before getting the exact figures.
Having the parents of the deceased not inherit because he’s got wife and kids is not just illogical, but also unfair. They spent all their life providing for him until he became a man and has a family, and now when he dies they’re expected to get nothing because he has a wife and kids? How sad is that! Don’t forget that had the mother died as well, her parents and family would inherit as well.
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Thank you for giving us the exact numbers…
I beg to differ, as always in theory this is lovely… in reality it just does not work like this… a typical problem when we compare practice to theory….
As for your second comment, before I reply to it, i need to find out if parents inherit in case the deceased has a son.
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There’s no Theory here. These are the practiced laws of inheritance. Which are amazing in the amount of details.
Read Sorat el Nisaa. It’s surprisingly called Nissaa. Maybe because before that soora, there was no inheritance rights for women (And this was in Madina, where there were Christians and Jews, in other words, there was nothing to support women’s right to inherit in other religions). (I wish you cad read some of the argument that went through madina after this soura. Even the sa7aba, were against it) I recommend reading “Le Harem politique Le Prophète et les femmes”
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Thanks again for the information. I agree with you, i know that islam gave women rights 1400 years ago… and of course at that point in time the inheritance worked out and was amazing, since Islam gave women more rights than other system… this is all wonderful.
However, i am not arguing this point at all. I am arguing today’s world……. are these rights, that were revolutionary 1400 hundred years ago, enough in today’s world?? or should Islam evolve and still give women more rights than any other system as it did when it first started?
This is the point i am pondering.
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You know, inheritance is one of the things that were in Quran, so changing it is an impossibility. Not that it’s ridged or anything. But the fact that there are time, (many times) where the female gets more than the male does.
Now granted, I’m not going to say I agree with everything in the Shariah for example, the concept of women dowry. Why should I as a man pay money and bear all the expenses for marriage while the lady is there to participate with the effort only? Another thing is the way the shariah gives unconditional custody for the mother. Why can’t it be the father? Not all women are fit to be mothers and this “unconditional” thing sounds like unfair.
Fact is, women do have plenty of rights and there’s nothing wrong with that. Then why so many women complain that they’re such victims!? Women want every right, and want more rights on top of them. They want the rights from 3 or 4 different social systems. Which doesn’t really work.
I understand that these are sensitive issues for many women, but allow me to give you one piece of advice, don’t listen to people victimising themselves and bashing the system. Many don’t even know what the legal position of any issue is. Just like the many TV Shows that how the poor mother begging her ex husband to keep her children, when it’s the other way around, by the law and shariah … We just grew up thinking oh .. poor victims. Even my friend who was a Lady lawyer didn’t know many of these things because of the amount of wrong ideas dumped in our head by the TV, media and old burned Arabic movies!
(Please forgive me if I took too much space, and also forgive my intrusion)
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Well, the inheritance laws in Jordan are certainly different from the U.S. Here, a person may leave his or her estate to whomever he/she chooses. All that is required is a legally written Will document. Some people leave all their money to their pet dog!
I feel sorry for the widow and daughters of your father’s friend. Without any money, the daughters will probably not have a chance to go to college. I suppose they will have to marry as soon as possible, or go to work. I can’t believe the brothers of the dead man can come and take his estate! Does Jordan have no laws allowing a person to decide who should receive his or her estate?
When I was six years old, I made zoo collages for my 2nd grade teacher. I really loved her. I would cut out all sorts of animals from colored construction paper and paste them onto another paper. I would cut out trees too. Glad you are having so much fun with your nephew.
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Ya Qwaider,
I think each person has their objections to what does not work for them. I mean these girls’ objection is on the inheritence… because that law affected them negatively… yours on the dowery because it affected you negatively… and so on… the point is I have a general rule to myself… every case is different, and there is no law in the world that works for everyone…
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David, let me explain something… they will have plenty of money, almost 80% of the inheritence, but not all of it… this is my objection… it is not that they will be hungry or not be able to go to college. And in all cases, maybe the uncles will decide not to take this percentage… many unckes decide to leave this money to the widow and the daughters… but unfortunately, in cases like these it depends on their decency or their good heart and not on the law…
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May I add something here?
People can leave Wills behind them. The can decide who they want to give up to 1/3 of their whole estate. But not more. So things like: Leaving everything to their dog don’t exist..
Madas, I’m really sorry for their loss, but why would anyone argue with the laws of inheritance? Unless the wife had actually contributed in this money, why are we applying western thought to a completely alien culture?
I see your objection, but I just don’t find it that unjust towards women.
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Allah Yir7amo 2o 2ikoon fee 3oonhom.
Just a point re inheritance, since the uncles have a financial responsibility towards the family now, if they shirked on it cant they be taken to court?
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The problem is that people don’t go to courts… but in sharia yes supposedly… however local laws pick and choose from sharia…so it has become more of a burden on women than a just system for everyone.
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I must voice my admiration to those who blindly defend a point, in this case, the fairness of the inheritance policy in Islam.
My great uncle was not an extremely wealthy man. He had no children, and his wife had no brothers or male relatives. Together, they worked at Jordanian public schools their whole lives, and then got pension money after they retired. My great aunt’s pension money was put in the same bank account as his pension money (not exactly the smartest thing to do). When he died, My grandmother (who had sons of her own to provide for her) got %50 of the money in his bank account. The remainder of the money was split between all 6 sons of my other great uncle who had passed away some years back (all 6 sons were wealthy themselves so they gave the money to their sisters). That left my great uncle’s wife with only 25% of whatever was in the bank (and it really wasn’t much) and the moakhar was a measly 700 dinars. In Jordan, that really won’t get you anywhere. Nobody really liked her, so nobody gave up their own share of the inheritance for her.
If Islam was properly followed by everyone, then it would all be good and fine. I find it amusing that most people jump to defend aspects of Islam as long as it benefits them personally. The inheritance scheme would work fine in theory (for example if my great uncle’s nephews had helped support their widowed aunt, which is what they should have done if they had cared about Islam at all). The fact is, Islam is not properly followed. So why shouldn’t the laws change? If Islam law was properly followed then every Muslim man should fight till the death in ANY Muslim country that’s under the attack of a non-Muslim country, isn’t that what Jihad is about? Muslim men are more than happy to quote the Quran about the laws of inheritance, polygamy, etc, but I don’t see them going to Afghanistan, Iraq or Palestine for Jihad.
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Madas Reply:
September 11th, 2009 at 19:27
Laila,
This story is the story of hundreds, if not thousands of women…. a lot of women, end up with nothing because of the laws inheritance… I feel that Islam is a holistic system… it should either be applied as a whole or not at all… but people can’t pick and choose what is god for them or their own self interets
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[...] Inheritance uncles and daughters [...]
Hi I live overseas and my dad and brother passed away last year. I need a good inheritance lawyer in Jordan to talk to as everyone seems to know allot about the inheritance law in this page, can you please recommend any one???? Many thanks….
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madas Reply:
August 13th, 2010 at 07:18
I don’t know anyone personally, but will ask around for you.
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