Can you give me solutions?
I need some help with a delinquent friend of mine, he is 19 years old. I honestly don’t know what to do with him, but I am so worried about him.
This guy comes from a middle class family. His mother is fanatic about religion and his father is normal, he has 7 brothers and sisters… all have different degrees of different problems. The parents don’t love each other and work against each other (which explains why the children have problems)
When the boy was very young, when other children used to take 10 piasters for school, his mother used to give him 5 JDs! The family went through conditions where they could not even pay for the schools, and the mother would still give him very high allowance… now the guy is older… he can’t live up to the standards of his rich friends and does the impossible to make money… which worries me.
He is a big guy, physically strong, very hard worker, very intelligent… but very naïve and gullible and weak personality… I believe his biggest problem is his low self esteem and his big ego. Since his circle of friends is not particularly clean… he makes an excellent middle man that criminals would love… on his behalf, if he is given money, he would do anything!
What can I do to help this guy… if you guys have any ideas please help….
Well, from the information that you provided, I am reminded of a young man that I knew about 20 years ago. He was a semi-delinquent, but also quite smart. He didn’t have the money to go to college, so he decided to join the military. Wh was extremely skilled at mechanical things. He was always taking apart his car engine. Well, he became a mechanic in the Air Force and worked on jet planes. They are really complex machines and he enjoyed learning about them. He had a real sense of pride that he was helping to maintain some of the best planes in the U.S. military. The pilots knew that he was really good and they were willing to trust their lives to his work. That feeling of being part of an important team did a lot to boost his self-esteem. Maybe your friend should consider joining the Jordanian military for a few years if he is not planning to go to college.
The saying “God help those whom they help them selves” , was not said in vane .You can suggest and offer advise and introduce him to different circles ,all filters back to this 19 years young man in other terms he is an adult and free to act the way he deems right in accordance to his book.
My advise is to have him evaluated by a good psychiatrist as the way you described his case/profile and back ground , he could very will be suffering from a mild depression ,such is a very common case at his age and circumstances ,in fact mild and very effective treatments are readily available world wide and not sedating ,such would fist bring back his logical powers and then ,self esteem prevails .If you cant force him into a psychiatry clinic, consult with one for the best way to convince him that he needs a professional help .
Second in a time while the treatment is improving him ,it is better to have him keep away from his past environment ,by enlisting in any branch of the Army or similar. to bring back to him the order and discipline that home failed to give him .let me know what you think ? believe me psychotropics and depression is not condemning him as a lunatic ,you cant imagine the great number of normal successful people around you and I ,are on an antidepressant therapy .
Nadim, welcome back to my blog. I have not blogged in a while, in what was a blogging dormant phase. I am back now and will try to be more disciplined although discipline in writing is not one of my strengths! thank you for your thoughts… I agree about the happy people on antidepressants… I am glad that there is a solution for depressed people… imagine how the world was when there was no solution for depression?
David,
I am sorry about silence, was in germany in a long trip away from the world.. or i took a vacation from the world and blocked it outside… now the world is upset with me… but i think they have to accept that sometimes i need some time off! thank you for your comment… I agree that selfesteem is the key… I wish army was an option in this case… if this guy was my son… I would have dragged him to the army long time ago…
Thanks for your greetings ,I do drop by your blog now and then but I did not have the pleasure to read you ,your last post and your comments made me feel that you are carrying a heavy load!! hope that I am mistaken ,correct me please .nice to have you back ,salaams .By the way you don’t need discipline you always had a natural down stream flow fresh and sparkling .
big load is true.. .you are very perceptive… always have been! thanks for that