Comments on: Ethical Dilemma http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/ Casting the first stone Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:19:00 +0200 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: David http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8824 David Sat, 03 Feb 2007 02:05:59 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8824 Mariam, I do understand what you are trying to say. Your time is limited so you must make some choices about how you invest it. I don't think that you need to feel bad, though, about the older woman. You have done a lot to help her, and you have given her the chance to be seen by an expert who can help her further. I think that her children should be grateful that their mother was helped by such a caring person as you! I hope that things will turn out well for the two young women that you are helping also! Mariam, I do understand what you are trying to say. Your time is limited so you must make some choices about how you invest it. I don’t think that you need to feel bad, though, about the older woman. You have done a lot to help her, and you have given her the chance to be seen by an expert who can help her further. I think that her children should be grateful that their mother was helped by such a caring person as you!

I hope that things will turn out well for the two young women that you are helping also!

]]> By: Madas http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8805 Madas Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:40:40 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8805 well, now a refugee organization have taken over, they will arrange a meeting with her daughter to ee hat will happen next. Do you know what is the funniest thing... every time a groom presents himself to the daughter she creates problems to push them away... and finally she went and introduced her daughter to someone... and the daughter feel for him! which drove the mother crazy... now she is working her magig to itafshoh! well, now a refugee organization have taken over, they will arrange a meeting with her daughter to ee hat will happen next. Do you know what is the funniest thing… every time a groom presents himself to the daughter she creates problems to push them away… and finally she went and introduced her daughter to someone… and the daughter feel for him! which drove the mother crazy… now she is working her magig to itafshoh!

]]> By: Madas http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8804 Madas Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:38:25 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8804 Some of these people have been smuggled in tanks, some of them have witness their mother's rape, some of them have been watching when their entire families have been shot... why Kinzi... why? Some of these people have been smuggled in tanks, some of them have witness their mother’s rape, some of them have been watching when their entire families have been shot… why Kinzi… why?

]]> By: Madas http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8803 Madas Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:37:08 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8803 Kinzi, i thought orphans are the worst breed ever, now i think that refugees are several degrees worse! i don't mena that in a bad way... but these people have it tough! every time someone leave the office, i feel that i should pray for them. then someone else comes and i feel they need more prayers... I just sometimes wonder why does God allow all these people to suffer? why does HE help? Kinzi, i thought orphans are the worst breed ever, now i think that refugees are several degrees worse! i don’t mena that in a bad way… but these people have it tough! every time someone leave the office, i feel that i should pray for them. then someone else comes and i feel they need more prayers… I just sometimes wonder why does God allow all these people to suffer? why does HE help?

]]> By: Madas http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8802 Madas Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:35:10 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8802 David, Thank you for your advise, i took it seriously, we have scheduled an apointment for her this week to determine her mental evalutation... honestly for her sake i am praying she will be ok. I know what i will say is horrible... but i have been involved in other cases, two of them are two young women who have been through hell because of all this immigration... and i feel that i have been giving them more priority. it honestly makes me wonder why... but i feel that they are young and they still have life in front of them, and they need help more than this lady, who has the resources but might be confused and does not know about it... i mean i am still working on the case... but i feel i am more inclined to invest more of my time in them... which makes me feel a bit bad... do you understand what i am trying to say? David,

Thank you for your advise, i took it seriously, we have scheduled an apointment for her this week to determine her mental evalutation… honestly for her sake i am praying she will be ok. I know what i will say is horrible… but i have been involved in other cases, two of them are two young women who have been through hell because of all this immigration… and i feel that i have been giving them more priority. it honestly makes me wonder why… but i feel that they are young and they still have life in front of them, and they need help more than this lady, who has the resources but might be confused and does not know about it… i mean i am still working on the case… but i feel i am more inclined to invest more of my time in them… which makes me feel a bit bad… do you understand what i am trying to say?

]]> By: Averroes http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8687 Averroes Wed, 31 Jan 2007 12:35:10 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8687 Call her country's embassy..get someone from there to see her, take her yourself if you need to, and let them take over..either by sending her back home, or arranging some kind of a setup for her family to actually take care of her in the UK, retirement home or something. Call her country’s embassy..get someone from there to see her, take her yourself if you need to, and let them take over..either by sending her back home, or arranging some kind of a setup for her family to actually take care of her in the UK, retirement home or something.

]]> By: kinzi http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8661 kinzi Wed, 31 Jan 2007 05:59:48 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8661 Madas, my heart goes out to you! I work with refugees too, and so often they resort to lying about anything just to get ahead, losing their dignity even further in the process. I'm not sure I trust the daughter, either. but th e goal for me was always repatriation...and since this woman is not going back to jail, a death sentence, military service that means a death sentence; get her on a plane. Madas, my heart goes out to you! I work with refugees too, and so often they resort to lying about anything just to get ahead, losing their dignity even further in the process.

I’m not sure I trust the daughter, either. but th e goal for me was always repatriation…and since this woman is not going back to jail, a death sentence, military service that means a death sentence; get her on a plane.

]]> By: David http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8659 David Wed, 31 Jan 2007 04:32:08 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8659 Mariam, this does indeed sound like a very difficult ethical dilemma! First, I would like to say that I think it is wonderful that you are trying so hard to help this woman. You are a very caring person! It is hard to know what is the best thing to do in this situation. I certainly do not know the right answer, but I can give you a few things to think about that I hope might be helpful to you. You have observed that this woman seems confused and that she has apparently lied to you, but she may not realize she is lying. It might be that she is experiencing some symptoms of dementia. For example, she may be developing Alzheimers, or some other form of age related mental decline. Although her status is that of a visitor, is there any way that she could be evaluated by a psychologist? It seems possible that she may not be fully competent to make decisions that are in her best interest. If that is true, then it may be necessary for her children to make decisions for her, such as whether or not she should return to her country. I don't know anything about the laws of England with respect to the elderly, but in the U.S. it is a very difficult process to have an elderly person declared incompetent. I agree with those laws. The right of a person to decide what is best for themselves is very important! However, my mother's father became incompetent late in life. It was sad to watch him decline like that, but my grandmother, my mother, and my aunts were all there to help him. He trusted all of them, so things went pretty smoothly. At least he got the care that he needed and he didn't object or resist. It sounds like a very different matter with the woman you are working with though. It seems like she may object very strongly if her children try to do what they think is best for her. I really hope that you will be able to find a solution to this dilemma! If it is possible, I hope that you will be able to enlist the help of an expert like a psychologist or medical specialist. My impression is that some expert guidance may be needed in this situation. I wish the best of luck to you, this woman, and her family in finding an ethical resolution! Mariam, this does indeed sound like a very difficult ethical dilemma! First, I would like to say that I think it is wonderful that you are trying so hard to help this woman. You are a very caring person! It is hard to know what is the best thing to do in this situation. I certainly do not know the right answer, but I can give you a few things to think about that I hope might be helpful to you.

You have observed that this woman seems confused and that she has apparently lied to you, but she may not realize she is lying. It might be that she is experiencing some symptoms of dementia. For example, she may be developing Alzheimers, or some other form of age related mental decline. Although her status is that of a visitor, is there any way that she could be evaluated by a psychologist? It seems possible that she may not be fully competent to make decisions that are in her best interest. If that is true, then it may be necessary for her children to make decisions for her, such as whether or not she should return to her country.

I don’t know anything about the laws of England with respect to the elderly, but in the U.S. it is a very difficult process to have an elderly person declared incompetent. I agree with those laws. The right of a person to decide what is best for themselves is very important! However, my mother’s father became incompetent late in life. It was sad to watch him decline like that, but my grandmother, my mother, and my aunts were all there to help him. He trusted all of them, so things went pretty smoothly. At least he got the care that he needed and he didn’t object or resist. It sounds like a very different matter with the woman you are working with though. It seems like she may object very strongly if her children try to do what they think is best for her.

I really hope that you will be able to find a solution to this dilemma! If it is possible, I hope that you will be able to enlist the help of an expert like a psychologist or medical specialist. My impression is that some expert guidance may be needed in this situation. I wish the best of luck to you, this woman, and her family in finding an ethical resolution!

]]> By: Madas http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8645 Madas Tue, 30 Jan 2007 22:44:33 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8645 Ahlan, Ahlan, long time no see... well actually yu are right some of them come up with horrific stories, some of these stories are true and some are not like the case of this lady. But i know what you mean... i have young people, who have been traveling for weeks in tanks, hidden among meat or dead people or any other number of horrible scenario... actually i wonder how can they be sane after all this. Ahlan, Ahlan, long time no see… well actually yu are right some of them come up with horrific stories, some of these stories are true and some are not like the case of this lady. But i know what you mean… i have young people, who have been traveling for weeks in tanks, hidden among meat or dead people or any other number of horrible scenario… actually i wonder how can they be sane after all this.

]]> By: hareega http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/comment-page-1/#comment-8642 hareega Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:03:28 +0000 http://madas.jordanplanet.org/2007/01/30/ethical-dilemma/#comment-8642 Volunteer jobs are not always easy aren't they? ;) We have plenty of refugees from Africa in Arizona most of them are from Sudan, Somalia and Rawanda, you can hear some aweful stories about how they were beatne up, raped and shot several times and it's really amazing how some people make it Volunteer jobs are not always easy aren’t they? ;)
We have plenty of refugees from Africa in Arizona most of them are from Sudan, Somalia and Rawanda, you can hear some aweful stories about how they were beatne up, raped and shot several times and it’s really amazing how some people make it

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