Driven by Curiosity…

This last summer, I had the honour of attending a bible session that was given by a much cherished lady. As usual I was driven by curiosity and wanted to learn something new. The evening was balmy; I enjoyed myself and went out with few good lessons. One concept hit a cord in that session, it refused to leave my brain and stayed hidden in my unconscious, and that is what she called the power of the word.

This last week, I have been working on a short story for my fiction writing class. I was working closely with two books, one of them is called Leviathan, which is written by one of my most favourite writers; Paul Auster.  The plot in the book is that someone falls from a balcony; this incident would change his life and would lead to his death eventually. I am not giving out the book, because this is not the point of the book, and anyway, we know he died from the first paragraph.  The second book I was working with is called a beggar at Damascus gate. A book written by Yasmin Zahran. I was completely taken by this book, she is daring, smart and very cultured. However, there is the incident of falling down that is followed by death as well. I won’t say more, so I won’t ruin it for anyone who wants to read it. My story has nothing to do with either book, it ends in a hopeful end, and it does not include people falling down.

 I was obsessively working with the two books, thinking about the story I am writing day and night, and for days, I had been haunted with disturbed dreams and sweaty nights. Something was stuck in my unconscious and I was unable to get a decent night of sleep for days. I called my brother last week. He was very upset, he told me that one of his friends fell from the fourteenth floor and passed away! Aunty Suzy’s words came rushing to my brain with so much force; it seemed that words indeed have power, they open doors for dark forces that go out of control when they are said or written. I felt that somehow maybe I sensed the meaningless death of this young man? Or maybe somehow I evoked it? I am not sure.

I called my friend R horrified. I felt I was paralyzed with fear, and since both R. and I have discussed the power of words on several occasions I was desperate to get his opinion. R. reassured me with his usual kindness, and the depth of his calm spirituality, and i instantly felt better. I later on talked to M. who is one of the most logical, scientific people I know. He said ‘Ah, I didn’t know you have so much power!’ that was such a relieving thought. Of course this young man’s death has nothing to do with me. We human beings always think that the world revolves around us, that we are in control and that we have the power.  Thank God we don’t have the power because we lack the wisdom not to be corrupted by so much power.

But I am still unsettled, I am truly curious to know why did I have this reaction? When I am supposedly a very un-superstitious person. One of the things that came to my mind was how is Islam we believe that God creates with words “ انما امره اذا اراد شيئا ان يقول له كن فيكون “  which is taken from Surat Yasin and it says if God wants something He says be and it happens.  Which is something that also exists in Christianity, God said, “let there be light: and there was light”.