Sometimes I hate people in Amman
Just to give a fair warning I am UPSET today.
I left my house to go to the office after 2 weeks of a great time in Germany. In front of my house there was this very old man on a wheelchair. He was dressed in a shabby dishdasheh and his shoes have holes. It is obvious he is a poor man.
He was waiting for a taxi , but the taxis would just pass by without even giving him a second look. I stood there waiting for a taxi myself, the first taxi stopped
“Where are you going?”
” Rabieh, but this haj is going to um othainah, can you take him please?”
” No, he is a beggar”
” No he is not; he has money for the taxi”
The man looked at me angrily “do you want to get in or not?” , my blood pressure went up and I said “No!” he made a rude gesture with his hand and kept going! boy I was angry. The second taxi stopped, a bearded man who has the Qura’an on very high volume. He asked me where I am going I answered the man wants to go… he just kept going without giving me the chance to finish my sentence.
At this point I realized the man has no chance to get on a cab unless I take him with me. So I hailed a cab and said that I need to get to Rabieh but we need to drop off this haj first. Luckily the guy had no problem knowing that he will get his money.
I was angry at the idea of these people going through the day knowing they could have taken a disabled man home or anywhere with real little effort but chose not to… but what upset me even more is that throughout our stay in the hostel in Germany there was a group of disabled people staying with us, people who are either mentally challenged and others who have physical disabilities. They were accompanied by a bunch of young people who were taking care of them and attending to their needs tenderly and carefully.
We had several discussions about this topic throughout our diners there, and the participants would say things like “I am really touched by those people who are taking care of them, if it was in our country (Morocco) the only thing they will get is a beat up with a stick” or “I am completely terrified when I see a disabled person, we have a Mongolian child in our neighborhood in Amman, and when see him I just run away the other direction!”. Or “Damn their sister!everything is good here, they don’t judge you, they don’t bother you, even the disabled have rights here!”
I feel angry at our retardness as a society that thinks of itself as modern and liberal or even Islamic and virtuous when we really have forgotten the very basics of how to be human beings. I feel even angrier that we have learnt the buzz words such human rights, freedom and democracy and respect and we learnt how to scream and ask for them in every little occasion. We believe we have the right to ask for the world to treat us with respect and think of our lives as valuable when we place no value at all to human life here, even worse we don’t even understand what these words mean… I am upset that we are considered a third world, not because we lack technology and advancement, but because we lack civilization and compassion.
But the strongest feeling of all is mourning for the humanity that we lost somewhere along the way.
Well, The reason of not picking him might be because there is lots of work in summer and the daily goal for the average taxi driver is to get the first 15 JD then they can start picking people and places they want to go as if they are doing it for free.
What’s so irritating about this; is that there is no single organization in Jordan trying to teach these people basic ethics of communication and how to look at the other; Yes they didn’t had the chance to study therefore there should be some mechanism that helps them to reach kind of mental soaring.
The poor man was lucky because it was you maybe if it was a “taxi driver like” mentality person, s/he would never think of helping the poor man.
People aren’t used to help each other but to annoy and use each other and in case of crisis (la samah allah) it will be doubled for that manner.
see this all the time .. we sometimes loose the sense of what’s real and what’s fake among the real poor people and the faked beggers .. Although in the case you are describing I just cannot see why have the dismissed the man . Their first argue would be he doesn’t have the money , but he proved to have it . Its not only this single situation , sadly , I believe it’s a matter of attitude ..
Jad, I swear it is not an excuse not to pick someone because they are disabled and they look poor. I mean the man did have the money, but taxi drivers simply assumed he did not have it… why did we ge tto a point where we need organizations to teach us the common sense? I am still irritated… forgive me
Madas, you loved this man with Jesus’ compassion. I believe God set this up for you to bless this man. It doesn’t matter what someone’s bad motives are in needing help, God sees and rewards the giver of the help who acts in wisdom. Good on ya.
so disgraceful!
I am sure you good deed will be returned to you.
Beleive me this happens all over. Just the other day, I had to opportunity to witness something similar to your story. There was blind man trying to cross a busy street and cars were not even stopping to allow him to cross at the cross-walk. (I only wish there was a police officer there so that they could hand out citations). Anyway, one lady stops, tells him to wait and then goes to park her car. She then escorts the man to the other side of the road and returns to her car. Took all of 3 minutes to do. I would estimate at least 50 cars passed and no one cared enough to stop except for this “diamond in the rough”. This happed in a very pedestrian friendly town, where the disabled have rights, cross walks are fitted with audible signals to assits those who have limited sight cross intersections, menus are available in braille and so forth. I think just seeing that helped to put it all in perspective. I am sure that one small act of compassion effected more than me and hopefully it will be many more who stop next time to lend a helping hand.
Sad.
I feel sorry for the old man. I don’t know if I would have been as nice as you were and took him with me, but I would simply tell the taxi driver that this man can give him his money in advance, like give him a JD1 deposit, or I would simply give him money myself and tell him to freakin take the man and be done with it.
But you know, this really made me miss something I never thought I would miss: riding in a taxi in Amman. The last time I took a taxi in Amman was probably my last year in high school in 99. Damn!
Although I agree with madas that we lack or have lost most types of decency and compassion to others and although this story is in reality very sad; it is an everyday example on how our societies have changed “if they were ever any better”. We have to take a minute and consider the mentality of that taxi driver.
1- driving in Amman is extremely hard, it is more of a challenging experience rather than a skill, streets are always very busy, people do not consider your existence, you have a couple of “zu3ran” who would always somehow manage to get in your way and of course people work by the principle “inta el shater oo el ba2ee 7ameer. Therefore you usually need a couple of extra eyes, a full A/C on and the strength of an elephant not to get to much agitated and kill someone.
2- Amman’s beggars are so annoying, I do believe they are the worst in the world especially those who work as a family, they know every game in the begging book and they come in every shape. This would normally result in stereotype that we form about them regardless of whether they are in need or not.
Finally, if I was a taxi driver I would really prefer to take madas rather than the old poor man, not because I am an evil person, but because as a taxi driver who makes his living as any other profession by making decisions regarding who we want to work with… regardless if they have the money or not; I will never take the chance to drive for an hour in this horror place and get a da3weh “Allah eb3atlak Ewlad el 7alal” at the end.
Madas, I have great respect for the way that you helped this man! I feel very touched by your kindness. I wish more people shared your sense of compassion for others. I think that the disabled or elderly in the U.S. quite often face similar problems. I remember reading about a young American researcher who dressed up as an elderly woman for a period of months to gain insight into how the elderly are treated out in public. As you can imagine, she was not treated very well much of the time. Sometimes people would even “accidently” knock her down and not even stop to help her up or apologize!
I think that part of the problem is societal or cultural. I know, for example, that in South Korea, the elderly are treated with great respect by younger people. The children are just instilled with the importance of respecting their elders. I think that Japan is similar and so is China. I certainly can’t speak about your country, but children in the U.S. are taught competition rather than cooperation as a way of life from an early age. So, people grow up with an every person for themselves mentality. Of course, there are many compassionate people, but not nearly enough, in my opinion. Perhaps this sort of competitive nature is endemic to capitalist countries. We are brainwashed into thinking that we each need our own car, our own house, all of our own stuff. Our ancient ancestors survived by cooperating with each other, living and working as a tribal unit for the good of the whole community. However, people living in the most technologically advanced countries of the world seem to have lost that sense of tribe. Sure, some people try and regain it to a limited degree by affiliating with religious organizations or some other sort of group, but it is just not the same. There is not the same level of interdependence and mutual respect that our ancient forbears relied on for their very survival.
Well, it seems that you have once again given me food for thought (perhaps more like a banquet this time
)!
Danah, the problem is that they did not even give him the chance to say he has money, you are right, it is a matter of attitude.
Kinzi,
I guess in a way you are right, but these days i came to question things like, why does God allow things like this to happen to people?
fi3lan
Luai, one of the reasons i decided to write about the incident is to open peopel’s eyes to doing things like this.. sometimes people just don’t think… however, now that people know things like this could happen, maybe the next time they see someone in need, they will stop to lend a hand.
indeed
Hamzeh I have never been a driver, comming back to Amman now makes me want to be a driver to stop having to use the taxis here… I am just sick and tired of them… so nothing to miss.
lol! i don’t know why your comment just made me laugh… i do agree with you, I am not upset at the taxi drivers.. i am just upset the the mentality here, the lack of social compassion… I don’t know…
David, I was acting out of defiance more than out of kindness
this is the truth. I always liked Asian culture for their respect for the elderly. mostly because I have this phobia of becoming old and helpless… ! I try to be nice, maybe one day someone will be nice to me… Well i am glad for the banquet.. hope it was delicious 
Madas, I think God actually holds back much more human-induced evil than we realize, so it’s not a matter of a little evil in a perfect world but a little good in an evil world.
Also, due to the nature of who we are, we only call out to God in suffering. Otherwise, we blithely go on our way thinking we are the source of goodness and forget Him.
Indeed, tasty enough to bring me back for more!
This comment is wirthy of a post on its own. thanks for your kindness, it is always nice to recieves comments this hopeful.
just like the cat that was brought back by satisfaction
it is my slogan anyway, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back!
Cats are so easy to satisfy, at least until the crazy hour!
Vaya, ummm si que son bordes. Te mando un comentario, porque como te habra dicho Elena, me voy de Erasmus a Berlin, y queria decirte que estas invitada a pasar unos dias en mi habitacion, mucho mas no te puedo ofrecer, pero algo es algo. Toda la familia esta invitada. Estare 12 meses. Marcho para alli en Septiembre. De todos modos, creo que estas en Londres asi que si puedo te voy a dar la lata. Un beso.
its sad but true… i have realized the same thing… people are too caught up being selfish and greedy that they careless abt the poor, elderly.. etc… ma bikhafo Allah.. and when they do they do 3ala tareee2thum and focus on things like wudoo2 and forget all abt what religion is all about.. God bless you
Thank you for your comment. I think what should do is have a general idea about what is right and what is wrong and then follow what we think is right, we should never forget the big picture and concentrate on the details. We should look at the big picture and decide on the details later on! this means we should understand what religion is all about and then choose how to apply it in our personal lives.
You did nice thing and I would do the same. People do not think that the same could happen to them once!
true… people don’t think things like this could happen to them
very sweet. what you’re not thinking of is that those cab drivers probably have children to feed. They need money. If their life was easier, maybe they’d be more giving. but that’s not the case. Lets not judge them.
yeah yeah yeah… of course i should keep that in mind, but if the cab driver is wandering around empty, why can’t he pick someone… heik heik he is paying for the banzeen! besides who knows maybe the next passenger will be exactly where this man wanted to go… sah? but i do see your point. and i am not saying they should save humanity… anyway…