Archive for August, 2006

August 15, 2006

Sometimes I hate people in Amman

August 15th 2006 Posted to

Just to give a fair warning I am UPSET today.

 I left my house to go to the office after 2 weeks of a great time in Germany. In front of my house there was this very old man on a wheelchair. He was dressed in a shabby dishdasheh and his shoes have holes.  It is obvious he is a poor man.
 

He was waiting for a taxi , but the taxis would just pass by without even giving him a second look. I stood there waiting for a taxi myself, the first taxi stopped
“Where are you going?”
” Rabieh, but this haj is going to um othainah, can you take him please?”
” No, he is a beggar”
” No he is not; he has money for the taxi”
 

The  man looked at me angrily “do you want to get in or not?” , my blood pressure went up and I said “No!” he made a rude gesture with his hand and kept going! boy I was angry. The second taxi stopped, a bearded man who has the Qura’an on very high volume. He asked me where I am going I answered the man wants to go… he just kept going without giving me the chance to finish my sentence.
 

At this point I realized the man has no chance to get on a cab unless I take him with me. So I hailed  a cab and said that I need to get to Rabieh but we need to drop off this haj first.  Luckily the guy had no problem knowing that he will get his money.
 

I was angry at the idea of these people going through the day knowing they could have taken a disabled man home or anywhere with real little effort but chose not to… but what upset me even more is that throughout our stay in the hostel in Germany there was a group of disabled people staying with us, people who are either mentally challenged and others who have physical disabilities. They were accompanied by a bunch of young people who were taking care of them and attending to their needs tenderly and carefully.
 

We had several discussions about this topic throughout our diners there, and the participants would say things like “I am really touched by those people who are taking care of them, if it was in our country (Morocco) the only thing they will get is a beat up with a stick” or “I am completely terrified when I see a disabled person, we have a Mongolian child in our neighborhood in Amman, and when see him I just run away the other direction!”. Or “Damn their sister!everything is good here, they don’t judge you, they don’t bother you, even the disabled have rights here!”
 

I feel angry at our retardness as a society that thinks of itself as modern and liberal or even Islamic and virtuous when we really have forgotten the very basics of how to be human beings. I feel even angrier that we have learnt the buzz words such human rights, freedom and democracy and respect and we learnt how to scream and ask for them in every little occasion.  We believe we have the right to ask for the world to treat us with respect and think of our lives as valuable when we place no value at all to  human life  here, even worse we don’t even understand what these words mean… I am upset that we are considered a third world, not because we lack technology and advancement, but because we lack civilization and compassion.
 

But the strongest feeling of all is mourning for the humanity that we lost somewhere along the way.

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August 4, 2006

Yup From Muenster!

August 04th 2006 Posted to

 

Yes I copied the title from Lina…but I can do this, since I happen to be in Muenster in the very same place at the very same moment! …I am sitting in the Internet Room with one of the Jordanian team members and he is telling me in wonder ‘ Praise God, listen to how many languages we can hear in 4 square meter room!’ .. he has every reason to be surprised, we are hearing Spanish, English, Rumanian, Russian, Arabic in two dialects, Polish,  French and Hungarian… aber scheiße  how could I forget Deutsch?!!!

This has been an experience for  all the team members, including myself! Yes, Lina and I have different modes of functioning as team leaders,  We both find it difficult to draw the line and balance between being strict and being loose. Sometimes I feel like slapping some of them… for example when they show up forty five minutes late, and force the whole group to work an extra hour!  and sometimes I just want to hug them… for example when they acted the Jaha bit!! Man the boys were MARVELLOUS!! True sheikhs! Jordan will be proud!  . And while Lina  tends to more hands off, I tend to be more hands on… but I think this difference is really positive,  because we do complement each other in our own ways.

By the way having Lina around has been wunderbar, we have been talking a lot and discovering how much in common we have, especially during the walks from the Behnnohaus back to our hotel.

The Jordanian team is a very interesting mix this year. We can completely spot the contradictions Jordanian youth have to live through, especially the girls. The society holds women to higher standards and some of them constantly feel they need to act to keep this standard. In moments of letting go, when they act like normal kids in their age such as being silly, giggling, playing…they start feeling guilty and feel they need to emphasize how virtuous they are and constantly explaining to me and to the others what they said and what they meant and how and why they said it…. I keep saying it is ok, you don’t need to explain… I really really understand! But I am thinking it is ok because they really really are just normal human beings!

We had the usual amount of tension in the first couple of days. the tension of discovering the dynamics of how the team functions,  adapting to the new place and the work we are doing, testing the waters with each other and with the other groups, deciding who is a friend and who is not .. one of the girls kept giving the guys sideways looks and stupid  comments when she catches them standing with girls! and they just REJOYCED catching her talking to a  guy… they are still making fun of the poor girl!  But it is ok… maybe she will learn how to keep her mouth shut when she should… I personally hope she does because she was absent the day  they taught tactfulness in school!  I had long talks with all the team members during the last 2 days and today everyone has finally relaxed, it seems like we all know where we stand, and all the negative feelings have finally come out. I completely adore the youngest member in our team, a 17 year old boy. He only has to open his mouth for of us to crack laughing! He throws very witty comments in such a serious manner… we can never tell if he is joking or just is like this

Since I lived in Germany couple of years ago,  spending the time with this team is giving me moments of joy, I don’t get to live every day. Which is to remember how things feel the first time! I just love to see the absolutely innocent and childish pleasure  in their reactions when they try things for the first time… things like drinking  a certain juice for example or eating a certain type of chocolate, or seeing a lake for the first time or even living the long hours or the changing weather, or the shopping… basically the beauty in all the small things that I tend to take to take for granted…. And in moments like this I just feel joyful.

Got to go Dinner is being served and i am starving!

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