Wish me luck
I am sneaking out to the lab, because I need 10 minutes break or I will go as mentally ill as the people I am studying! I have been shut in the library for the last 2 weeks, trying to prepare for this exam , which will take place tomorrow… at this point my brain has simply shut down to any other information…. I found that I function better when I study alone, however when there are people around… so we have been gathering together to do discussion within groups, and then scatter around where each one of us will study alone, but swap questions and pieces of information as we go.
Yesterday Veena joint us a bit late, she was preparing for another exam with someone that she fancies and who is with her in the same class. Last semester they had some sort of fling… she comes from a very respected Indian family where her life was structured by the values of wrong and right and woman respectability and honour and decency… she finally broke free from that very strict system and decided to give herself a go with this guy.
In the last few weeks, she managed to fall in love with him and he managed to find himself an easy girlfriend who is not as demanding or serious as poor veena. The poor thing just found out yesterday… Veena is one of the most reserved people I have ever met, for her showing emotions is very hysterical and vulgar, and she prides herself at her refined manners… She had few relationships before, but she never showed emotions when they finished… she has a very good reason, she says, she usually likes them, and based on that, ends up sharing maybe a bit more than is accepted by her society. Usually these boys who come from the same social background are as deprived of emotional attachment as she is… and once they get that kiss, or holding hands.. they move to the next girl… Veena started understanding this and she feels that showing emotions will make her acknowledge that she was used… so she simply pretends that she does not care and that she is also parting that relationship willingly. The point is we had an animated girlie discussion about what she did when this new guy told her that he is seeing someone else… obviously we started hurling the worst words and descriptions on the guy! and we all were hoping that she hit him…
She told us that she took it very calmly, she finished what she was doing and then gathered her stuff and was ready to leave, the guy was very shocked, as he thought that they were over and he did not think she feels this way about him, so he asked her to stay and to talk about it, and she tried to explain rationally that she is upset and that she does not want to loose her rationality and go hysterical! Which I found really amusing but the guy who is actually a very smart guy, told her that human being are irrational and she could be irrational if she wanted, so she told him that she wanted to hit him… and the guy’s body language immediately goes into the defence mode! But Veena is not violent and her rational self interfered to save the day to she started crying quietly to our disappointment.
They were both ok about it eventually, they talked about it calmly… she felt better when he explained that he can’t handle a serious relationship now and so he went to an easy one, and that if he was looking for a serious relationship, he would be trying with her! Blablabla… men are really full of bullshit but the argument worked… she instantly felt better and ended up leaving feeling ok…
Veena was very excited about the fact that she cried in front of the guy, that she told him how she felt, she even called him useless! She felt that she is finally learning how to be herself, how to show emotions, she is finally growing claws! Growing claws comes from a book ny Isabelle Allends called Portrait of Sepia, we both loved this book and we both could related to the book when she told us about her new found experience of showing emotions Her objective is to unleash the irrationality that has been hidden by years and years of learning and training to be a classy lady…I think that even if the incident is very small it really shows that she is changing towards the person she hopes she will become…
I have nothing to say honestly… I simply wrote this because I needed to put my mind away from development and democracy, refugees and immigrants and multiculturalism, human rights and child labour and few other topics. Wish me luck!
Lots of GOOD LUCKZZZZZZZZZ , o inshallah betzabti in yr exam
CheeerZ!
Best of luck
Good luck!
BTW you sound (write) so British
Would you be upset if I told you that I really don’t share your ideas about all men being full of bullshit and the fact that women do the exact same thing to men? it happens all the time, and we call women who do that … you know what. But the fact of the matter is simple. People meet, discover delinquencies, they don’t accept them, they come up with excuses to end it. In the modern age, there is no need or reason to be stuck with the same a-hole for life like it used to be.
I would say, best of luck to you, and to your friend, “she’s better off without him anyway”
Now I would like to touch on the matter of crying. Woman’s tears are the strongest weapon in her arsenal, unfortunately, It’s like Tarneeb (I’m not sure if you’re aware of the game) anyway, it’s it’s very potent, yet extremely limited, men eventually get galvanized against it and it just doesn’t work anymore
What I’m trying to say is, No, it’s not OK to show emotions in front of someone who just dumped you because you’re giving them closure and allowing them to walk all over you. Let them suffer, let them be tormented. I believe the strongest message you send back to someone who just dumped you is “you weren’t even good enough” by simply walking away and act as if it was the miracle you’ve been waiting for. THEN … and ONLY THEN … the game turns on them .. and they will be the ones feeling used.
Sorry … I talk to much
I wish all the luck in the world, I know you can do it, go kick butt!!
I look very forward to seeing you again soon!
As for your friend … you said it yourself: “She felt that she is finally learning how to be herself, how to show emotions, she is finally growing claws!”… what more could you ask for? That’s the way to go even if it is hard.
Talk soon!
Mariam!! Long time no see!! I have nothing to comment on your post, although i enjoyed it! I’m just writing this to say hi!!
De que es el examen, (a lo mejor ya lo has dicho…) muchisima suerte.
Some how ,you did bring back to me Hardy’s style and moods “per say”with no precise comparison ,if by any chance you dont know of him this synopses can do for the time ,but for later once you are out of the trap like dilemma, you can give it a go .
Thomas Hardy (1840)
Hardy was an English writer and poet of the naturalist movement. The bulk of his work is marked by poetic descriptions and fatalism. His characters, who are for the most part of the poorer rural classes, are sympathetically and often humorously portrayed. Their lives are ruled not only by nature, but also by rigid Victorian social conventions. Hardy’s style is accordingly roughhewn(shaped roughly without finishing), the most for me ,sometimes awkward, but always commanding dose it ring a bill ? and intense. Much of Hardy’s work is set in what it looks as a semi- imaginary county?dose this simulate your own trap?
thank you dear, i am done no and it ent really well
Thanks for your wishes…
Thank yooooooooooou
Lol, well… I love the accent and the way they talk here, the vocabulary is very rich, and they just use the most hillarius words.
That is completely ok, I actually prefer human beings who talk… it is way better than silence. I agree… women and men are more alike than we like to admit… and thanks for your tip about how women should deal with being dumped… i had veena read the comment you wrote and she said that Arab men are more honest than Indian men!! so your comment was greatly appreciated.
I love your blog… i keep reading and seeing the photos… i am very happy for you… he seems really nice
not really, my trap is completely different
but that was a good try… I have never read Hardy, but my friends call my virginia wolf to my chagrin…i think they are trying to tell me i am very uptight? however.. i hope my writing style will sometime be comparable to her… thanks for writing me again.
Hardy In 1898 published his first volume of poetry, Wessex Poems, a collection of poems written over 30 years. Hardy had poetry as his first love, and kept publishing his collections until his death in 1928. His poetry was not as well received , as his novels had been, but critical response to Hardy’s poetry has warmed considerably in recent years, in part because of the influence of Hardy However, critically his poetry is still not considered as highly as his prose.
The poems deal with themes of disappointment in love and life, and mankind’s long struggle against indifference to human suffering. are thought of as poems about writing poetry, because the nature mentioned in them gives Hardy the inspiration to write those. A vein of regret tinges his often seemingly . His poems range in style from the three-volume epic closet drama Dynasts to smaller, and often hopeful the moment such as the little-known The Children and Sir Nameless, a comic poem inspired by the tombs of the Martyns, builders of Athelhampton. Here is The Darkling Thrush dated 31 December 1900.
I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-grey,
And Winter’s dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.
The land’s sharp features seemed to be
The Century’s corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Seemed fervourless as I.
At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An agèd thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.
So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessèd Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.
This has elements typical of Hardy’s work. The first person voice; an incident in nature triggering deep reflections; the bucolic setting; the desolate landscape; the struggle of small forces against inimical nature; the possibility of redemption. Note the formal rhythm and rhyme, the high poetic tone, and simple phrases such as “happy good-nightai =========================================
To you the one I perceive not as Virginian wolf ,
Imaginative work…is like a spider’s web, attached ever so lightly perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners…. But when the web is pulled askew, hooked up at the edge, torn in the middle, one remembers that these webs are not spun in midair by incorporeal creatures, but are the work of suffering, human beings, and are attached to the grossly material things, like health and money and the houses we live in.About time to stop not hearing what your friends tell ,but for once you are all about your self ,it is due time to read the real you in style and depict you inner feelings ,and add to your philanthropy of of what may be almost the finished puzzled of you ,re read the poem of Hardy ,and give your smart mind, the idea that you you are not at all up tight you are not but you ,and thats producing what almost good +++ .
In my book ,if ever you want to rid something of bad in you drop your prorecictive armed shield ,never ever be afraid from being close to some one you care for ,neither death nor love will break you .You live for what you are worth to WRITE ,to the one that recently learned to say “thank you ” do it and write .you well stand tall among those who did it .
Forget to tell you ,in spite all my scribble above ,Hardy went as Trevelyan seminole though he was at his peak ,you can make it , it is not ever the style as much the scribble insistence that you do posses ,it is not your post I enjoy it is what you portray behind the post ,such as names of scholars and intellect let be music or books ,your unintentional manner drops names only someone with your intellect has the capacity to keep and use at home ,reason what i am enchanted with you this first time you saved me from your smart ass answers excuse me for saying it .You dont need me to pray for you to pass .But you need my assurances same as others that we believe in your strength ,not your frozen wet .You made it in this semester and same in life .
Thank you for the sweet comments, poetry has not (yet) been my thing… I need things to be spelled out to me ( i am the product of spoon feeding education)… now that My summer started, i am thinking of writing a short novel! maybe i will go ahead and write it
best of luck ya mariam
Refugee, have you seen the movie V for vendetta? for some reason V. reminds me of you.
Thank you ya hareega!
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