Do Arab women sleep around?
I mentioned a girl- friend yesterday to a guy friend and he asked me how she is doing… I said that I have not seen her in a while but last I heard she met someone. My guy friend asked me very calmly with what I describe as male innocence, if she is sleeping with this someone! I won’t use the words he used to formulate the question, because the question was crude. But I should add that his question did not shock me the least… by now I am used to the one track manner in which some men’s minds work. That does not mean his question was met with approval, I gave him a vicious look and said “I don’t know, I don’t think so, Arab women don’t sleep around!” and as naïve as it sounds, I felt I have to take it upon myself to defend the honour of all Arab women from this viciousness that was not vicious at all in this case, but was actually naïve and gullible! But what is really shocking is my reaction to his question… I realized even I fall in the of hypocrisy of holding women to higher standards in our society.
I remember few years ago, I was attending a wedding in Boston. I was standing with few people, when this gorgeous lady was introduced to us. The moment she left, one of the guys who were standing commented that she was an ice queen, another guy answered that she has to be an ice queen, she has to have an iron shield to protect herself from all the scum she meets… which was a wonderfully perceptive and sensitive remark considering it was coming from a guy.
Arab women have to have iron shields to survive; they walk on thin ice every second of their lives…. Just walking in shmeisani, or Sweifieh or Duwar Abdoun or anywhere really makes me feel completely conscious of what I am wearing and the way I walk, some of the comments are just too much to handle! A girl gives part of herself to a man out of love mind you and she is a whore in his dictionary the day after, I picked this sentence from a book years ago, I am not sure by whom though, it could be Haidar Haidar walima li A3shab il ba7r, or Ahlam Mustaghanemi zakiratu il jasad. This man however, would still consider himself, maybe not a saint, but definitely not a whore! Yes there are men who are whores, although probably they are called something else! And he would still look at himself in the mirror feeling completely at peace with himself. This man’s judgment comes from a society that has several different standards to judge, one for him and one for her… simply because one standard does not work and will never work…
I am not talking about sexuality alone… I am talking about everything, about relationships in the family, about relationships in the neighbourhood, about ethics at work? In the street?
One thing that always shocks me is talking to Arabs outside the Arab world, People who live by the rules of God… praying whenever it is time to pray, preaching when it is suitable and when it is not….yet the only other topic they talk about is how to beat the system, how to create ways to use the loop holes in the system… The holes that could not be covered and are left for people’s sense of ethics… especially when it comes to financial issues….. Ok I am talking very high level here, let me give a very simple example… one of my acquaintances uses the free refill system in movie theatres, he buys the popcorn bag once and then keeps the bag. Whenever he comes back to the theatre he brings that very same bag and refills it J funny no? Well this is only one example…. Another one is getting in public transportation for free, and running away from taxes, and living on the welfare programs…. And so many other examples… the problem is not in doing these things, the problem is in feeling that it is ok to do them…
To answer the original question, do Arab women sleep around? From an Arab woman’s perspective, between the answers of some of my single friends who don’t have boyfriends at all because it 7aram and it is shameful, and those who save themselves to the moment prince charming will show up on his white horse, and the others who leave their boyfriends because they ‘started playing with hands’ and those who carry their boyfriends’ pictures around and ask everyone to say good night, this actually happened in one of my youth projects, a young girl was carrying the picture and asking everyone to say good night to the picture and the teddy bear, who are her husband and her son! To the other extreme, all those stories you hear about girls going through virginity restoration operations just before their wedding nights…
And my married friends on the other hand, who are so dedicated to their husbands and their homes, they don’t even have time to think about anything outside the kids and the meals and the house and what is left of the career, and those who have forgotten how to chat with people outside their social circles, and yet another group a bit older though, who complain that their husbands are no longer interested in them, because according to them “il la7em bikhawi” yes I did found this expression to be very vulgar it is translated into the flesh creates a siblinghood, after a while they become like brothers and sisters! And all these ladies scattered around the streets of Amman and the Arab world, and in cheap hotels, either because they have no other choice, or because they are driven to it, or maybe because it is their way of resistance…. I feel that sometimes it is better to leave things unsaid, so I choose not to say anything at all.By the way, I just love being an anthropologist, it opened a door for me to be able to discover and talk about worlds that were completely closed to me before, I started believing in the Islamic saying “la 7aia2a fi il deen” which means there is no room for shyness in religion only I started thinking that there is no room for shyness in science and humanity as well.
LOL at male innocence.
Judging from our conservative and doubly standardized society when it comes to sex and the sexes, there a lot more males who sleep around than there are females.
Dear Lady ,you love anthropology to open doors to avoid the obstacle of shyness ,Anthropology is an interdisciplinary science that correlates closely with content standards for various subjects such as history (i.e, study of past peoples post , ), geography (i.e., environment and society, places and regions), social studies (i.e., culture, continuity, and change), and science (i.e., science as inquiry, evolution of human life). Incorporating some of these anthropological teaching materials and activities listed below can enhance the teaching of social studies and science courses - and the enjoyment of student learning, as well as the enjoyment of teaching how to continue an exhchange of a cup of an answer ,do I take it ,that this page erases back the page we scribbled on the one before !!! am I to understand once you turn pages I mean new posts ,I to erase what I have opened and hoped for an answer ,dear lady I may crossed your lines of the game,but wished only wished you go one post back and answer me .Or should I move on with your whims to change from personal who cares to the impersonal who dose not care , When Someone Hugs You Never Be The First To Let Go.
I wish you well. The study of anthropology seems to work for you .
@ “I started believing in the Islamic saying “la 7aia2a fi il deen” which means there is no room for shyness in religion “:
let me just explain somethin’ that’s absolutely very clear to you and it’s not for many other: “Boy Friend” means that she got a male friend and she sleeps with him and doing all sex and non-sex stuff with him EXACTLY as she is his wife, and it might leads up to shap up a family of a boy and a girk and their son(s), the difference between her and the wife is that there’s NO contract and, you know, all other marriage traditions in order to NOT stay with her all time like real wife !! And the same meaning applis to a “Girl Friend” !!
@ “some of my single friends who don’t have boyfriends at all..” : this means that you got a “Boy Friend” !!? is that true or what Miss Mariam !! or it’s non of my business to ask !!
so, what I understood of your article, is that, YES, Arab Women do sleep around, but of course, SOME of them not the big percentage !!
@ ..all those stories you hear about girls going through virginity restoration operations just before their wedding nights…..: I wonder how shame a doctor can be when verginizing a girl that’s been deflored when she slept with a guy !!
!!
i can’t believe it !! did this really happen in our jordan ?? but YES, i can believe that it’s 1% or so of girls that have been re-verginized by a fuckin doctor
tell me, does this happen alot !! do i live under a huge rock ??
Murad, you obviously based your interpretation of the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship on the common perception that these relationships are imported into our societies from the west and that therefore these relationships in our societies must follow the same norms and routes that they follow in the birth societies. This is not true.
Even in the US, a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship doesn’t automatically leave no room for sexual abstinence. There are many teenagers from Christian conservative famlies in the US who choose to abstain from having sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends and the same applies in greater numbers to people in our societies.
So next time you hear that a girl has a boyfriend, please resist the temptation ennak tshell 3ardha and don’t magically assume that she’s running around having sex with someone; “enna ba3da al thanni ethm”.
Hamzah N,
I think that applies to all men and women around the world. men are more sexualized and women are more romancized
lol,
I might answer one day, but not just yet…. I hope you are not very disappointed, but to give you something, even if very small… I feel the arrogance of a young man in your comments… this is not necessarily a bad thing
I am sorry for your disappointment. I am fascinated at your interpretations… why did you chose to translate this as I have a boyfriend? and not me being one of those who believe it is 7aram for example? and not that i am married for example? or any other interpretation? why this specific one? does it reflect the way you think? i wonder ….men have been having sex in the middle east outside the bonds of marriage for thousands of years and it is verty accepted and celebrated… does that surprise you?
thanks for your clarification, very well said…
are you terrible offended? I hope you are not… i hope you are open minded to accepts my whims as you put it… keep well my friend, the world always needs intelligent people.
Both of the genders are sexual, but men like to pretend that women do not have these urges. Why does this happen? Fear? Lack of communication? An ingrained patriarchal worldview that elects to see woman as eunuchs? Whatever.
I’m very happy with a boyfriend, I’m not ready to be a wife. I’m glad I was raised in a society that gives me that choice. I think people should be able to decide for themselves, whether or not they want to follow the religion of their parents, to date or not to date, to love or not to love, marry or not marry. More men have that choice in the Arab world than women. That’s the real issue, I think.
Oh, and yes, in case anyone’s wandering, I have sex. ALL THE TIME. And no, it’s not the same as “sleeping around,” it’s quite different, actually, when you have a steady partner and a commitment.
Natalia,
Thanks for sharing, very well said… I do like the idea of having the choice and i just wonder if Arab women do have the choice, what would we choose? and for some reason i think many will choose to be held to human standards just like men are….and not any inch higher or lower. whatever that includes.
do arab women sleep around?? ohhh yeah! Sooo many of them do, not as much as an arab man, but they do. Married women tend to have sex even more than single ones because they wouldn’t care about their virginity anymore, and in the Arab world virginity is the marker for chastity.
isn’t this very ironic?
No MADAS, it didn’t of course suprise me, as I concluded from your “may be” wrong sentence: “some of my single friends who don’t have boyfriends at all..”
the reasonable thought leads to think “and im sorry for it” that you got a boy friend, and this is a shame !! BTW, you didn’t even comment on my other comments on my above phrase !
ya take care !
@ “men have been having sex in the middle east outside the bonds of marriage for thousands of years and it is verty accepted and celebrated…” : this of course doesn’t undergo to my rules, im not el hamdulillah one of these, or even one teenagers or 20’s guys who EVEN talk with a girl on telephones or cell phones ! im so clean el hamdulilla !
Murad, spare me the self-righteous blathering. Damn straight I’m proud of who I am. I would never pretend to be someone else just to please some guy who thinks he has the right to decide how other people ought to conduct their personal relationships.
Madas, I think Arab women, like all human beings, would make a variety of choices on the matter. Of course, men might get their panties in a twist over that, but that too shall pass.
You know, I was just struck my the thought that some men just can’t handle the idea of women who are unafraid to admit that they have sex, and enjoy it too. You’re the perfect example of what we’ve been talking about. A walking cliche!
Arab women definitely sleep around, I’ve seen it first hand many times in Jordan. Just because a certain subject is taboo does not mean that it doesn’t happen. Sex is everywhere and always has been.
Madas…I forgot to tell you that I mentioned your name in the April VIVA article on the lady bloggers of JP, but I blew as I thought you were n the UK!
As an American who was raised to believe to have sex as early and often as you like, I really hope Arab women stick a little closer to their cultural roots.
This attitude just about destroyed my life and identity as a woman before I was even 20. The act of intercourse without the commitment of a life-promise of fidelity is too closely connected to the spirit of a woman to be anything but damaging.
Not to mention the fact that when you have sex with someone, you are biologically having sex with everyone they have ever had sex with. Why such a high rate of infertility in the US? Too many sexually transmitted diseases. My mom worked for Planned Parenthood for a long time, I saw all the stats, and all the broken women.
I would love for Arab women to have a choice as well. But I would love for them to choose virginity not because of honor, but because of their intrinsic value as a woman. And I would love for Arab men to choose it as well.
Mutual virginity means a marriage filled with private discovery, and a bond of intimacy shared with no one else. It’s not just about sex, but learning to communicate your needs in all areas that make the bond strong.
I have many conservative Christian friends like Hamzeh mentioned, who are actually moving more toward the Arab model of familial involvement and courtship over meeting people in discos.
When I became a Christian, after my past, I didn’t think I could be celebate. But I found i could subliminate that sensuality into other creative areas. And when God brought that man into my life, and we kept kissing as a boundry for physical involvement until our wedding, it was amazing.
Uqbal 3indkum!
Madas, thank you so much for this great post ..
Do Arab women sleep around? you bet they do .. and as hareega said .. married women do it more than single women because of the virginity barrier nothing more and nothing less
The rates of infedility are becoming sky high .. the hidden is much more than the announced ..
Our lives in the Middle East are based on the taboo culture .. and unfortunately; whatever men do is forgiven and brushed as one of the rights given to them by God just because there is no tangible evidence of them losing their virginity and there are no severe consequences to having sex like getting pregnant for example .. so they take this as a lifestyle and it has become normal and almost acceptable that they sleep around before and after marriage … on the other hand .. any thing a woman does no matter how small will be driven out of proportion and she will be cursed by everyone and might even lose her life for the mere suspicion .. proof of that the high rate of honor killing in Jordan (as if the murderers who commit such crimes are honorable to begin with)
Both genders sleep around in the arab World and it is very sad because in many cases; or even the majority of the cases .. people are having sex for the sake of it and not out of love or commitment .. this issue concerns both men and women .. it is wrong for both of them!
Murad,
It is great that you choose not to be hypocrate, that you apply your rules on yourself before on other people. This is very good and impressive. I deleted your comments, because i will not allow attacking other people on my site. Everyone has the right to say what they want here. Even if you or other people will not agree.
Thank you for your words,
you are right it is about choices, I am just thinking about something completely different now, I live in Saudi for a while and there i had a debate with some people about the choice of wearing the 3abaya or Burqa… and we wondered if we women were given the chance not to wear the abaya, what perc entage would still wear it… of course we could never reach an exact number… but we know that many women would still choose to wear it. I suppose the same with sex an many other things in life…. when a person has the choice, she might choose not to practice that choice, just because she knows she can…
from my work with young people, I know how big resistance is, just because something is not allowed it becomes very desirable…
Khalidah,
Thanks for your comments. This topic is really vast and deep…and its roots are deep in history. It is a shame that we live in denial, and that the society has double standards when it comes to men and women… but actually not only that, we live in double standards in everything… i started thinking that it is easier for human beings to lie even to themselves when they can’t deal with something…. anyway…
Khalidah
I hold your opinions rather highly despite the intrinsic differences that will keep our trajectory of thoughts in parallels (for now), but mind my bluntness with this; what legitimacy does a “true” love-story give to a possible premarital sex? Or is it merely a sedative justification to counter any infuriating consciousness of misconduct!
A society chained with taboos is bound to be infested with the very things that they try to cleanse themselves from!
I got shocked Miss MADAS when I found out that you attacked me and deleted me opinions
It’s my opinions and I don’t OBVIOUSLY swear at other people !! that girl says: “she’s going so and so ..” and I replied that that it’s not acceptable in our community and it means so and so ; AND NOBODY CAN DENY THAT, miss. UNLESS, and that what im afraid of, this site and especially this blog is for evangelising western christian rules and traditions into our clean community !!
I didn’t expect al all that you deleted my comments !! is that just explain HER 100% !!?
Murad,
Calm down, I deleted your comments because you used strong language. I respect you and your opinions a lot. Please dont be offended and keep writing.
Thank you for openning me the door back again, i’d accept your invitation !!
[being sorry to write it in arabic because it's gonna be more attractive]:
that’s cool
listen, take this joke as a “return back” fee
أفلام البدو
البعير الداشر - كوميدي
سأستحم غدا - خيالي
هات ليره - رعب
hope it gets all bloggrs admiration !!
People people please show some restraint here . Just because you’ve heard stories about Arabic girls who were caught having sex with a boyfriend or about women cheating on their husbands doesn’t mean that “Arab women sleep around, and hell yeah they do”, hell no they don’t.
To say that a woman sleeps around actually means a lot. Even a woman in the most liberal society in the world who finds it ok to have sex with someone before being married will take issue with being described as a woman who sleeps around. Because sleeping around implies promiscuity, which means casual sex relationships with different partners and sometimes indiscriminately.
In a society like ours where the number of women who engage in premarital sex is already very small, an even smaller number of them lead promiscous life styles. So while everyone gets the point that there are Arabic women who engage in premarital sexual relationships, I think everyone should pause for a second to reconsider the fact that Arab women are still very far from being anywhere close to falling under the “sleeps around” category.
Yeah, true sleeping around is not the right expression… I did not mean to create this noise with this post… it was about the hypocrisy of society rather than women and their sexual habits… in all cases… thank you for your comments and explenations.
First of all, I’m not “that girl,” my name is Natalia.
Second of all, this “clean community,” as far as I can tell, does not define an honest admission of premarital sex as “dirty.” If you have issue with this, you should have issue with the entire post. Or does it simply bother you to come in contact with an unmarried, sexually active woman who is unashamed and unafraid of her choices?
Yeah, “sleeping around” shouldn’t be conflated with premarital sex. But it often is, especially in conservative, patriarchal societies.
Murad, I must point out the fallacy of your point that Madas is ‘evangelizing western Christian rules and traditions’.
I think most people today understand there is nothing ‘Christian’ about about the West nor sexual promiscuity…maybe you need to go pick up a Bible and see what Jesus had to say.
Since you probably won’t, I will tell you. Jesus said “If anyone looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”. So Christian values aren’t just don’t have sex outside of marriage, but keep your thoughts pure or you are as guilty as having done the act.
lol,My dear lady ,allow me to use your LOL
I await eagerly for your answer one day something to anticipate from you in particular why I do , because I like your indifference coupled with impressions of wet ,to me you are a /riddle/puzzle I enjoy the challenge , but not just yet you have to add to it …. I am not very disappointed, au contrire enchanted I await to be given something from your
intellect, even if it is very small…you feel the arrogance of a young man in my comments…I feel young ,but never arrogance , this is not necessarily a bad thing
Am I terribly offended? I am not… i hope you are open minded to accepts my whims as you put it… keep well my friend, the world always needs intelligent peopleWaht a complement I dont deserve . I wish I can debate with you ,better described I like your mind and the way to works fit for an answer at all moments ,your attitude is like a Puckett of flowers wild and cultivated ,that is why you ? that may be the one .I assure I assure you I am your seniors in years ,but addicted to reading recent and old .Dear lady ,if ever I am nuisance to you ,I can drop off your screen ,just ask ,but please dont Braille or short hand me .Take care . you have a crowed waiting in line ,what a putty I am cuing in line ,Dear lady I care for you to attain better than a Robisc Riddle ,you deserve more and your climb is gradual but attainable
True Knowledge can only be acquired through humility. The path towards this knowledge is Dear lady ,like a person’s wanting to drink from a stream: he has to lower himself to be able to drink. Water seeks the lowest level, thus I have to imitate water,and that what iam doing ,you have been away from your post for quite a time ,and missed writing to you ,so as you can tell I dont usually comment on your Post ,so i decided to create my own subject knowing that you are interested or studying Anthropology .
being a world trouter ,such should make a talented anthropologist like you become truly bicultural? Understanding the basic cultural traits of the society an anthropologist is not only studying but he becomes an imperative. However, as the anthropologist’s knowledge of this culture increases, he or she makes steps to a bi cultural perspective. If this perspective is truly bi cultural, I do not know. Because I was not raised in a bi cultural atmosphere, it is difficult for me to develop and apply a definition to being ‘truly bi cultural.’ If possible, an anthropologist should strive to become truly bi cultural to truthfully understand and document practices and traits of the society being that he or she are studied. Any anthropologist can study and understand the actions and relations of a society. This understanding, however, may include subconscious bias that compares a specific aspect of a ‘different’ culture’s at many times you refer to your self as an Arab without knowing as much as Arabism as your western acquired knowledge,yet you live in the west to the culture the anthropologist understands best. This leads me to believe that being truly bi cultural includes being raised equally between two cultures do you ? only you can answer . A truly bi cultural anthropologist understands a culture at the same level in which he or she understands the culture of his or her native society I wonder in your case . Because of this subconscious bias from my part than yours , truly bi cultural anthropologists are ‘few and far between.’the straits of their own self finding ,can you clarify to me this authenticity my dear lady ,where ever you are truting ,it seems the world is your corner .I dreamed of that once but ended up as a self clustrophobic entity in the west ,That I thought i understood well ,but it was only a theory book of one of those 101 courses ,I dont know how this system works ,do you get a copy of my comment ,or you just trot in and see it by accident ? will I wanted to write you so I did my dear lady like water you have to kneel for it ,unless you drink mineral water ,then it is a total aspect and I have to restart all over again .
thanks for your note, I am extremely busy with my exams at the moment, won’t be back till June. unless i get completely fedup with the studying…
Dear Lady ,Setting for a test gives me the girders maybe thats why I dropped dyslexia was the diagnosis ,later on I picked up what i have lost in academia was a trophy of knowledge may be this is why I link with your determination ,someone dear like you chooses to to do it deliberty ,gives me the respect for wanting to go through academia ,you could be the daughter I lost in 1990 for renal falier all except ailing health stopped her from pursuing academia ,I tried to give her my permanent knowledge ,neither time nor perception helped .But you are determent to do it and love you with respect dear lady for pursuing this passage .I dont wish you to destruct you as much as wish you well for attaining what you want not for a degree but for knowledge that makes you one step ahead than those who pretend ,I wish you will to attain your gradualia esteem ,once you are there you made it for your self and to those who care for you .I am one of many of them .
Dear sir, Thank you for your nice wishes…
I love what i am doing, it was a complete eye opener for me, and I always enjoy brain stimulation and you can imagine how much i appreciate knowledge. I am very very mildly dyslexic as well, it is not even noticeable, but i always had problems with math as the numbers were many times the otherway around!! Your comment made me feel very sad. The worst thing that could happen to a human bein is to lose a child…it just makes you question the point of it all… I am terribly sorry about your daughter, God bless you and all your family.
Dear lady sorry for being late as I was on a short business trip, during which I drafted my answer but hesitated!!! Now being home I made up my mind, to take you as a friend yet in spite of time and proximity ? do you accept ? a total stranger younger at heart than older than you to be your father, why you ? I know you as a mind seeker provided your mind accept facts as you take them provided to be proven to your own logic , ,I thank you for the skilful craft of your comment ,you have succeeded in knighting me to a Sir ,and moisten my eyes for a jiffy ,I am repentant for positioning you into something aching. my only comment, I coped well with time as I take it “ for its value “with such I hope to wipe off your distress . Loss for me is a departure of a loved one left me with a wealth of reminiscences, carry them and while and again I play them back , the departed one is present .Life rules are never just ,I make my own rules and be alive by it as a nonsectarian I did not revert to faith , the family did in wonders ..
Dear lady ,I need to ask you for a favorer, be happy for the days to come ,and try to make someone happy after reading this ,you will help my wipe off my gilt in tossing a burden on you .My dyslexia as well as yours ,numbers further mores colors and opposite meaning of words and a total disorientation in finding addresses, mine is a family joke ,and for me is a puzzle , on how on earth I managed to attain senior jobs, I posses a tremendous photographic memory and the gift of the garb ,I say dyslexics are much more efficient than normal people ,wink”” wink “”a complement coming your way. .I wish you well again and again I want you to attain your own gall in knowledge for your own pleasure. It is your prerogative, Dear lady ,you don’t have to answer me .the day after is always better than the one before as we get to learn more and come closer to a happy tomorrows , is it adieus ?.
hang on! one thing i hate about blogging is that a faceless friend can always find me, they know exactly when and where to reach me, they have the power to leave when they want and to come back into my life when they choose… and i dont have the same luxury! it is just not fair… I am not burdened by your comments, if anything they put pieces into the face puzzle I have for every anonymous person who contributes to this blog… does that answer your question?
Dear Lady ,you are not a lady ,you are a case ,my regrets for you to be in such a manner useless and disdain contrariety to my best Guss ,sincere I was but now sorry for my intrusion .You take me for a ghost and you are the shadow ,we both played a game of hide and seek ,I know where and whom I am and shared it with you to the bit of a life detail ,but cant not figure out your tantrum ,silence or the word no, could have sufficed ,but the child in you had to throw a tantrum ,I am sorry for both your self and your mind .I knocked your door politely and the same way I withdraw .you said “does that answer your question? ” crestal clear
Why did you delete my comment. Because I said let people do whatever they want and lets move on from our takhaloof in the Arab world. Its time we stop being so backwards. If someone wants to sleep around let them, its their business. You can’t dictate what people do.
I am sorry, I was not aware that i deleted your comment. It must have been a mistake. I think you are right, if people want to do anything at all, let them, it is their business…and you are right again, no one can dictate what people do… no one at all… thanks for your comment
wow…you completely managed to amaze me!
Like wise to my own self amazement !!!! reading my own writings defies my self determinant separation from what you detested as my own decipherment ,was it a serendibity ?or a telepathy that you where in distress ?or my week demeanor to addiction of writing you .Sounds like a charade ,doesn’t ,in anthropology do they teach you of masochism ,now do I still comletely amaze you ? I wish I can ,as i am
Hi
I think that disscusions like this one are very good and my opinion is that people shoud do what they think is good for them. All of us are human beings, God is watching us, but all of us has a choice. Human being make mistakes but if all mistakes are about in this issue I would sign to be the guilty one. Male and female have a feelings and there is nothing wrong in having sex before marrage if partners wants to do it. If you have relationship for two three years for me it is normal to have a sex. I do not want to say that those who do not do it are wrong, not at all, it is ther choice but the same one should not blame others who do that. Free choice! Best regards from Bosnia
ergonomic kneel chair…
Well … again a nice post ….
thanks
Hello again Madas,
Pardon some comments from an older gentleman. My views on chastity etc have evolved an awful lot since puberty, I hope due both to experience and due to frank conversation with a wide variety of women.
I should add that I myself was an Anthro geek in my University days.
I think that the variation in human sexuality between individuals is much higher within a culture than across cultures, and that as a consequence in any culture there are likely to be a number of people who feel they don’t ‘fit.’ This is of course related to how strictly a culture defines correct sexual behavior.
And of course the cultural definition of correct sexual behavior is dynamic, and has always been dynamic, despite what ‘traditionalists’ believe. It is possible, even probable, that the rate of change is much faster now (for obvious reasons) and that the process of change is much more visible now than before, especially in the “West” (whatever that means) and again for obvious reasons.
The results are both liberating and disorienting. One set of signals says not to be a whore; another says not to be a prude. As ever in our patriarchal societies, the signals are much more confusing and the anxiety much worse for women than for men. For the latter though, it can be difficult to figure what exactly a ‘gentleman’ is supposed to be these days (most men, I am sorry to say, don’t bother. I doubt if the ‘notching your gun’ competition has changed much since the rise of our species, much less patriarchal agrarian society.)
Well, I’d say more but my boss, sadly, wants me to do some work.
Well Great comment really. I have been becomming aware of the variations of sexuality and how natural it is very recently! mostly because i had a research at school about sexuality and religion and it was really very interesting.
I have also been becomming aware of how limited our sexuality is in the middle east, just talking to women my age in the west and learning about th the process of learning and realizing their sexuality is just baffling
I was talking to a friend yesterday and we decided that what we need in the Middle east is a state of social anarchy where, all these strict rules will broken and broken and broken!