life celebration in the church
I don’t know where to start, with the funeral itself or my impressions about a funeral in a church? Maybe this is supposed to be a sad post, but after leaving the church, a strange sense of peace swept over me.
The priest said he can’t express how difficult this is to everyone, because we all know that the cycle of life is not supposed to be like this, and no excuse can be given to explain why something like this happens… we don’t know why our loved ones die… no one knows or understands… but we know one thing… that God loves us, and more important He loves Jared. The priest said that God chose to call Jared back to Him now, after giving him to his adoptive parents to love and take care of temporarily. The metaphor of calling someone back hit me as being very relieving. Suddenly the process of death made sense, it was no longer dark or scary or painful or even incomprehensible. It was natural, it was easy and it was tender… the person gets called back to be near God.
Jared was the adopted child of our friends. They have loved him so much and gave him everything a loving family would give their child. He was 3 years old and had a rare type of cancer. However this child was very joyful, and the innocence of children never ceases to amaze me… knowing you are dying and still be very happy and joyful, this is why the priest chose the espression of lets celebrate the life of this happy child, who was lucky because he knew he was loved. It made me wonder how his life would have been if he was never adopted, if he was still in an orphanage. The harsh reality of an anonymous death and an unmarked grave kept nagging…
It also made me wonder there on the spot, how come the concept of adoption does not exist in our society that is known for its generosity and chivalry? Is it because many wrongly believe that adoption is forbidden by Islam? But this is really wrong as the prophet himself had an adopted son and his name was Zaid. What is really forbidden is to claim the child and give him/her a new identity or last name, and this is justified and makes total sense to me… The other reason is our fascination with the Jahili concept of family honour… I will leave the imagined consequences from this post, but will build the set up… lets imagine I found a child in the garbage somewhere. (Background slow drums music) Here I am walking with the child on my arms to my family and look them in the eye, while the little thing is crying on my arms and say after a pause of quiet tension
” i7em….Mom and Dad.. I have made up my mind to adopt this child…….”
lol! the expression on their faces is everything but funny yet i can’t stop laughing!
ok… back to reality….I guess that explaines why unmarried women in the Arab world dont adopt. Hundreds if not thousands of women never get married…if they are not lucky enough to find right man in the right time they live their life feeling bitter that they were never given the chance to have children as they are not allowed to have them outside the wedlock and if they happened to have a child outside the wedlcok they will throw them in orphanages anyway!… but that is a different story. why don’t they simply direct all these maternal feelings towards one child who really and despearately needs love?
Madas,I wrote about a funeral I went to yesterday.I didn’t publish it,I wasn’t satisfied with it.It didn’t really express the real sorrow I felt.
God bless Jared’s soul!
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God bless the person you went to their funeral as well… Allah yir7amhom all and il 3omor ilkom
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Good post.
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Good Post. I am glad that you answered some of my questions about adoption in Isalm. I think the best gift than one can give to a person is a loving family and that is the highest from of my love in my opinion. May Jared soul rest in peace
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Abdelstar: thanks… i am glad you enjoyed it
Issam: believe me, it is way more complex than it is shown here, this topic has a start and no end! but i guess our approach to this problem is like our approach to many problem lets not solve it moderately and take things as they come… nope, lets choose a radical way and drop the topic all together… so NO adoption min asloh!
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Allah loves orphans. Perhaps He wanted Jared more than Jared’s adoptive parents did.
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Madas, this is lovely. Adoption must be so close to God’s heart, it is such a picture of redemption, of accepting the forsaken ones.
I know several Jordanians who have adopted babies in Syria.
I have also heard disturbing stories of how pimps troll orphanages here in Jordan for teenage girls to make them into prostitutes whenthey are out at 18. The girls have no family who will care for them, no future, so why not? Wouldn’t it be better to allow them to be adopted than propel them into a life worse than death?
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Saad: Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately, I dont know what God loves or wants… God is beyong the comprehension of my limited brain, but I feel that I agree with you, I believe He does love orphans. However, i can’t help wandering why He chose to call back a loved orphan? when there are millions of orphans around the world, who are suffering every day?
Kinzi: it always pleases me to find you on my blog! The story you mentioned is indeed very disturbing. I mean it makes me feel there is no hope at all… these girls are victim in everyway, and no one is doing anything about it… it is just not fair!
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Madas, I am trying to prove to my dear hubby that I am not a blog addict, so I’m not commenting as much as I would like…but, I do read you regularly! In fact, I quoted your Steinburg post in an article I wrote and begged my editor to give you a hat-tip but it got edited out ’sigh’. But, I’ll email it to you when I get it scanned in the computer. Keep up the good work!
Madas, there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon. I’m mentoring a young woman whose passion is teenage abuse victims, and I think she is going to take it somewhere! Pray for her!
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My condolences on the loss of Jared the adopted loved child of your Friend’s I relate to your sympathies for many personal reasons, this not the issue you seem taken by death which is not fair ,again this is not the issue .If you care for Jared ,you seem you do .You can do him a great favor by bringing him back to our life by remembering him in and through fondest memories you have of Jared .You see dear lady we all are made of an amalgam of stuff ,a great part of it is the memory of good things ,same for the departed Jared ,this you and his adopted parents can bring Jared back at least parts of him through yours and his memories .Only through that stuff we can bring loved ones back ,I did it and still do it ,thats how I feel their presence .There is no absolute death we scatter in the universe as atoms to shape other materials .
By the way I left you a remark on your previous post about Kinsey report .I wish you well my dear lady
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Kinzi- Thanks for telling me
I would love to read your article
Dr. Laud Humphrey- can we choose a different name? we agreed that
Dr. Laud Humphrey is not a very impressive character! anyway… I did not know Jared, I knew his parents… Unfortunately death does not do it for me anymore… I take death as a natural part of life… death intrigues me and it fascinates me and the idea of not seeing people again, not being able to talk to them again or interact with them again makes me very sad… I dont memories do the same thing… I need peopl’s physical presence… i no longer want to rely on the idea of people’s exsitence….
I wish you well as well
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How about Levant ,as an alias for a psudoname ,I am touched by your remarks about death and the way you take it as a natural proses of departure ,it is sad for you in other words sad for me to perceive your feelings of departure from life without memories, yet for me the nonsectarian person death is a apart of nature it self ,as nothing dies and nothing is born new ,the Kerb cycle theory :
http://www.people.virginia.edu/~rjh9u/krebs.html
shows the enzymes that catalyze each reaction, of the carbon skeletons of the intermediates are shown as a chains of recycles . this to prove that all above this planet recycles as per the Krebcycle .I dont wish to cause you fatigue by my jargon .
One thing I share with you about death is ,my enthuse for death experience .To an extend at times I wish to have the carriage to engulf in it ,and see if there is any thing other than my belief in the Krebcycle.
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