Archive for February, 2006

February 21, 2006

Invitations sent out a bit too soon!!

February 21st 2006 Posted to

Yesterday my friend Beatrice and Peter passed by to say hello. They are getting married in May. They came straight after a 2- day marriage consulting workshop to have a cup of tea with us. They were both STRESSED OUT! Apparently they have discovered that they need to talk about a few things, and suddenly felt that there are all these alarms and red flags that went off unexpectedly and that they might have sent out the invitations a bit too soon. They both said that they would not have done this seminar if they were not forced to. But being catholic they can not get married in the church unless they prove they have done this workshop, now they are really happy that they did, it was such an eye opener.

I was completely fascinated! Even excited about the idea of a counselling before you get married! Apparently they get people to think about certain things that you would imagine that people intending to get married would have covered long time ago in details…only to be shocked at how many couples don’t have a clue! Such as kids, where do we want to live, the finances, the in laws, how to have an interesting life…..etc…etc… .I don’t know…these are the obvious things… but there so many things that are really really not obvious… all those awfully important details that parents would call the BASICS of life, and unmarried people would not even imagine… after all the most sophisticated unmarried brain is not equipped to think of all these things that encounter people when they do get married.

I will chose a perfectly safe example… like let’s say finances…these seminars get people to think about things like: who will take care of the finances at home? If they thought if they will have two bank accounts or a joint one? if they have any financial plan for their life? If the woman will contribute at all? How much would she contribute? Will she have some money for her for security? Other topics such as in whose names the properties are going to be if they both are working or if one of them is sitting home to take care of the children? What is their retirement plan? The kids’ university fund?!!…etc…etc… and all of a sudden what started as a perfectly simple and innocent marriage ends up being one hell of a complicated spiky thing!

From the conversation that we had… and I never saw them this stressed out.  Bea said that she was amazed at how many people have not talked about important things things, and how many topics she discovered she did not cover with Peter. Peter on the other hand said that in these seminars you get shocked that your partner thinks like that! And it made me realize what a wonderful idea it really is to go through this before you get married… how many couples will be spared the horrors of divorce? How many children will be spared the mental abuse of an unhappy marriage? I don’t know honestly… maybe it is not like that, maybe with or without counselling, if a marriage is meant to stay it will and if it supposed to end it will….but I still could not help wondering how many people think after many many years of marriage if I knew this thing about my husband or wife, would I still have married them?!

I will sit down and enjoy my cup of tea while hearing Dido ironically a song called hunter, whom I have not heard in months… I will also go back to my painting… something happened and all of a sudden I am very inspired… I suppose I discovered the ink that is used with water colour and hell… it is brilliant!

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February 16, 2006

Self esteem and local brands!

February 16th 2006 Posted to

I was talking to my family yesterday, and the topic of how the Islamic world is boycotting the Danish products came up. My mom said, “but why do you need to buy from Europe, some things that are made in Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Egypt are really excellent!”  And it hit me that my mom still thinks in a European mentality where solidarity, unity and community are so ingrained in people minds, and probably that is what makes Europe Europe!

That brought to my mind a question that Fouad asked me once to make a point mind you, if you want to buy a shirt and you have two choices one made in France and one made in Tunis for the same price, which one will you buy? The question kept me puzzled because I really could not give an answer without being dishonest to him or to myself.  It also brought to my mind my cousin Nassim who came back to Jordan after he earned an MBA with this passion to buy local products such as CJC clothing and carpets made by Bedouins… he argues that the shirts are not exactly Hugo Boss but this is the way we build the economy in our nation! He asked me to look at the tag of any piece of clothing I buy anywhere in the west to see where it is made and my shock was when I started doing this that these items are made everywhere but the west! Including in JORDAN! That was a T-shirt I bought in Spain few years ago!

I took my conversation to Yasser who is an Industrial Engineer. He told me there is one problem. In Saudi and Egypt the only good products are those that follow strict western standards, because unfortunately in other cases, the industries don’t bother to follow standards. They might start on the right track, but once people start spending money, the quality goes immediately down because they start cutting corners!  Is it because we don’t care about consumers? Is it corruption? Is it lack of professionalism? Or is it a desire to make quick money? Just one look at the restaurants in Amman… there is a reason why only some survive while the others keep changing.

With our self esteem, our brand sensitivity and awareness and with all this booming economy in Jordan, who needs to buy local brands??  The sad truth is that our brands stand NO chance in this fierce global competition. One of my uncles’ wives in Spain worked in Zarah factories for a while… the stories she used to bring about the competence of the working women in the factories was a mixture of horror and amusement… do we even imagine and those who make Zarah’s clothing are even remotely more efficient or more competent than our own women?!
Anyway…….It made me wonder if we could ever learn to trust our own initiatives and maybe the magic word to solve our own problem is indeed… self esteem!

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