Driven by Curiosity…

Am I imagining it, or all the new modern buildings in Amman have exactly or at least very similar interior design? the door opens to small entrance that leads to the the biggest room in the house which is the big salon, this salon yaleeq bimaqam Her Majesty the queen of England in her bi-annual visit to have her afternoon cup of tea in this salon. which of course goes with the perfect china that are only used for this specific occasion, and the most expensive furniture that are also used in this room. The other reason for this salon is the once in a life time event, the daughter's engagement… it could be used occasionally by families that entertain guests on regular basis, which we all have to admit are not many!

The rest of the house is divided into 2 or 3 rooms, including one master room, the other two rooms share a bathroom. There is a smallish living room usually the most used in the house and the kitchen, which shares a balcony with the living room in many apartments. Of course we should not forget the maid's room and her bathroom, which are on the side of the apartment that does not have windows 3 sides have windows to the outside , so my questions for today are honestly why are the best resources of the house put in this room which is used the least? why every single house have this big salon? and why does it have to be the biggest room and the most impeccable?? why not use the space to make the rooms a bit bigger and keep a smaller room to have guests that are not supposed to mingle with the people of the household? what i am really trying to find out, why even our homes have to be designed for the enjoyment of other people? and why do we all have to live in exactly the same apartments, what happened to the creativity of all the architects that graduate every year? or maybe since they have the same professors, there is no room for creativity? I am just trying to understand…

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Reem died few days ago, she was 20 years old and died of cancer infused B cel lymphoma, if anyone is interested … well technically that was not the cause of death, but that is beside the point. Reem is related to me, I have met her few months ago at the hospital and I spent some time with her during the last few months…She was a beautiful girl, so tender, so sweet, so full of life… she was also very spoiled and very stubborn.

She could not deal with the way her looks changed with the treatment and with being sick and being in pain all the time, she could not deal with not being able to be this care free little girl who gets away with everything anymore… slowly her life that was filled with laughter and lovely naughtiness and girlish silliness turned into silence, seriousness and depression…. she stopped fighting, and eventually she died…

I am angry for all the pain that her parents, but especially what her dad is going through…. He has been with her all through, while her mother was back home taking her of the other kids not many people can afford bringing the whole family to London for a long time, the woman had no choice. I saw him change her clothes and touch her face with so much tenderness, as if she is two years old… I saw him trying to fight for her, trying to protect her, trying to push her and… Akh… the pain i feel…I can’t even start to express his looks whenever looking at her… Mohamed was not only her father, he was also her friend and her hero. The man is completely shocked; her death did not sink in yet. He went back the next day to the hospital to check if somehow she undied! He could not understand that his little girl was sleeping in the cold morgue… so he just stayed awake… Her body was taken home in a box and her dad could not get over the fact that they are travelling first class and their daughter is travelling with the luggage!

I am also angry at Reem Allah yir7amha, May she be happy in a better place and the whole generation of girls who are just too spoiled to fight, who don’t have a mission in life and who cruise through life without purpose… Why? What happened to our strong Arab women who go through everyday with a set agenda and a real mission, whose capacity of grabbing every day’s troubles and turn them into lessons and benefits… what happened to women like my grandmother who gave birth to my dad on the way from Palestine to Amman? What happened to women who rock the world with their left arms, while taking care of ten kids and are still able to love unconditionally?! What happened with the girls who fought society to be able to study and marry and be happy? What happened to girls who stood in front of laws and defied the whole world for a belief? What has changed in the last ten years that turned us from strong girls back into weak puppets and porcelain dolls who are willing to sacrifice life because we can’t deal with ??!

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