My big blaberring mouth!
I am totally embarassed and feel just like SCREAMING for my stupid behaviour!!! I have mentioned before that i am in the habit of chatting with everyone that i can chat with, taxi drivers, doctors, people who work at the cash registry, mail people, people who take the trash, homeless… and the list goes on… I find the stories they provide to be very interesting! gives you another perspective of life… some sort of window into a parallel world that makes you think of yourself and in how many ways your life could have turned.
Anyway… Since I came here, the type of people that i happen to meet, or mix with are a tiny bit different from the type of people I am used to in my previous life… For example, this lady who just got married to one of our best friends happens to have married twice before, has 3 kids from the two husbands and was very pregnant on their wedding day… and even though I was shocked when I first met her, I talked to her couple of times and realized she is the sweetest, smartest person ever, she ran into very bad luck, but still holds her head high, and malgre tout, keeps this beautiful smile that makes the whole world light. and this is only one story…
For the past few weeks, I have been helping this person in his work as a counsellor, I am thinking of becoming one and thought it would help to see what kind of life they lead.. He is a very charming human being, warm, sweet, always smiling and has the most beautiful big brown sad eyes, and he keeps talking about his wife from Peru … as I sat there seeing him going through case after case of people who killed other people by mistake, and children who were being abused by their parents, girls survived rape, and others who are completely devestated after the death of a loved one, or a divorce…
….and so I asked him one day few weeks ago ” Phil, do you have kids?” he looked at me in a way I would never forget and noded, I asked ” are they affected by your work?” Phil noded again…Phil was still this amazing person… Yesterday I saw him again, and after we finished, he walked me outside, and we chatted a little bit… I was blabeering about how much satisfaction his line of work gives… helping people deal with their own demons…. and Phil told me out of the blue… “Mariam, do you know why, I became a counsellor? I lost my wife and two kids in a car accident 1n 1994, the third kid is a daughter who survived but was completely disfigured… I raised her alone for 8 years and then I met my wife and we are all much happier now!”
I was shocked! being shocked seems like a recuring event in my current life these days! … I felt utterly speechless… poor Phil had to hear my stupid question about his children few weeks ago, and he had to give me an answer that would not hurt either one of us… AHHH… I just hate it when something like this happens to me… but i attribute this to my growing up in a small town called Amman, where everyone is very similar, going on the same train of life… school, university, marriage, kids… death! the most exciting event growing up was that she held her boy friend’s hand, or that she had a boyfriend to start with.. she being anyone i know or dont know!!!! How could I have been trained to detect something like this?!!
ifft!
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So you like to take a peak in other peoples lives to get a taste of what they have been through, and how they got where they are and that is great. You also have the skill to be out going and get details out of people in such little time which is even better and it’s not wrong. If you’re the kind of person that can learn from others mistakes then I am sure that gives you a head start in life and it’s an amazing quality. Don’t try to contain such qualities because that makes you unique in whom you are.
Sammy Zamel,
http://theroadtohapiness.blogspot.com
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why would you want to work with this trouble? why would you want to take all these problems, and make them yours?
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Hi Sami, and welcome to my blog!
Thanks for your words… I just felt terrible when Phil told me about his family… i could not sleep last night, thinking about him.. sometimes it is just too difficult to step into other people's lives… sometimes there is simply too much pain!
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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Hi Aonymous,
Thanks for your concern… I asked my dad once how could he live with a patient's death, and he told me you learn to detach yourself… you learn to stop being emotional about other people sickness… because if you you would be devestated… I know i am very capable of giving this kin of support to other people… and in all cases, I still have not decide in which context i would like to do my counselling and anyway it is not going to happen for years…. so… I am not worried.. YET!
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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OH madas you didn't mean to hurt him and he knows that so dont worry
well this reminded me of a movie i once watched i dont remember the exact story nor the name of the movie but it is something similar .If i am not mistaken J-LO was the main actress and they ended up in love at the end of the movie so watch out 
Mira
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lol Mira…! and you are a romantic….!
You are right, I did not mean to hurt him, and he told me he trained himself to deal with people when they ask him about his kids… but sometimes, when people catch him off guard, or when he is not expecting it… then he sometimes, does not know how to deal with it… Allah yi3eenoh… I am happy he moved on.
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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Madas, you seem very admant on what you want to do, which is half of the battle. It is very interesting, but it is also draining till you figure out a way to live with all the information you get. Good luck to you
Rose Keplling
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Ok, Maybe this is supposed to be a sad thing you wrote here, and one tear was about to start falling, till you talked about Amman. You know what?reading about Jordan makes me really want to go see it, only to get a taste of what you guys live and experience there. I already feel i know that place.
Linda
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Don't be so hard on yourself. Innocent questions sometimes lead to that.
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I already feel better about the whole incident… I didn't mean to hurt him, but sometimes i feel maybe i shouldn't be so curious.. as the old saying goes… curiosity killed the cat…anyway… why didn't you sign your name… it would be much more interesting to know who i am talking to…
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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We would love to have you in Jordan… it willdefinetly be an experience…
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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Thanx, I really enjoy reading your blog.
It’s wonderful that you’re planning a career in counselling for yourself; I feel we need open-minded people in the region that are willing to listen and over look others problems with minimum biased opinions.
For me, as I am currently studying to major in MIS (Management Information Systems) I have always loved psychology and will plan to get my masters in it. I was told in several occasions that I am a great listener and can tackle a problem from several points of views; it’s a passion for me. Hearing people spill out there problems, and seek for opinions and solutions is a source of motivation in life for me. And from your style of writing I can tell you got what it takes to be a great counsellor. Try not to lose touch with your sensitivity and consideration sides as I believe they are what make a good counsellor.
Sammy Zamel,
http://theroadtohapiness.blogspot.com
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Sami, I have recently learnt a beautiful word… that i believe apply to both of us (I have been following your blog as well)
This word is empathy… being able to put yourself in other people's shoes! as much as it is apassion for you, it is for me… I do see you as a very successful psychiatrist! so pursue it!
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
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I always end up doing this too! It seems like I always ask the wrong question to the wrong person. -Athena
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