My big blaberring mouth!
I am totally embarassed and feel just like SCREAMING for my stupid behaviour!!! I have mentioned before that i am in the habit of chatting with everyone that i can chat with, taxi drivers, doctors, people who work at the cash registry, mail people, people who take the trash, homeless… and the list goes on… I find the stories they provide to be very interesting! gives you another perspective of life… some sort of window into a parallel world that makes you think of yourself and in how many ways your life could have turned.
Anyway… Since I came here, the type of people that i happen to meet, or mix with are a tiny bit different from the type of people I am used to in my previous life… For example, this lady who just got married to one of our best friends happens to have married twice before, has 3 kids from the two husbands and was very pregnant on their wedding day… and even though I was shocked when I first met her, I talked to her couple of times and realized she is the sweetest, smartest person ever, she ran into very bad luck, but still holds her head high, and malgre tout, keeps this beautiful smile that makes the whole world light. and this is only one story…
For the past few weeks, I have been helping this person in his work as a counsellor, I am thinking of becoming one and thought it would help to see what kind of life they lead.. He is a very charming human being, warm, sweet, always smiling and has the most beautiful big brown sad eyes, and he keeps talking about his wife from Peru … as I sat there seeing him going through case after case of people who killed other people by mistake, and children who were being abused by their parents, girls survived rape, and others who are completely devestated after the death of a loved one, or a divorce…
….and so I asked him one day few weeks ago ” Phil, do you have kids?” he looked at me in a way I would never forget and noded, I asked ” are they affected by your work?” Phil noded again…Phil was still this amazing person… Yesterday I saw him again, and after we finished, he walked me outside, and we chatted a little bit… I was blabeering about how much satisfaction his line of work gives… helping people deal with their own demons…. and Phil told me out of the blue… “Mariam, do you know why, I became a counsellor? I lost my wife and two kids in a car accident 1n 1994, the third kid is a daughter who survived but was completely disfigured… I raised her alone for 8 years and then I met my wife and we are all much happier now!”
I was shocked! being shocked seems like a recuring event in my current life these days! … I felt utterly speechless… poor Phil had to hear my stupid question about his children few weeks ago, and he had to give me an answer that would not hurt either one of us… AHHH… I just hate it when something like this happens to me… but i attribute this to my growing up in a small town called Amman, where everyone is very similar, going on the same train of life… school, university, marriage, kids… death! the most exciting event growing up was that she held her boy friend’s hand, or that she had a boyfriend to start with.. she being anyone i know or dont know!!!! How could I have been trained to detect something like this?!!