ADD (Attention Dificit Disorder)
Elsa, is a very close Jordanian friend of mine, we have been friends from as far as I can remember… This girl has always been a little bit on the eccentric side…. Good hearted, sweet, creative, artistic, bohemian, talkative, moody, clumsy, day dreams, gets bored quickly, has a short span of attention and absolutely no attention to details… as a result, she could never keep friends, they would get tied of her constant movement at all levels and cant keep up with her, say she drives them mad, and soon enough they disappear form her life. Therefore, she would jump from one experience to the other, involve herself completely and then move on to the next. This is why she is very interesting. The few friends she could keep were kept because they chose to stay; they did not mind her recklessness and could put up with her eccentricity or they loved her enough to stay.
Lately she has been telling me that things were going really bad with her husband, she literally drives him nuts, by repeating certain behaviors over and over again, she never closes things, she is constantly losing her stuff, does not remember where she put important papers, she is unorganized and it is no big deal to her. And because this all look so innocent she could not understand his anger at her all the time, his inability to cope with these small things. he is very detail oriented and organized and structured and leads a simple life,, he kept repeating things over and over again, and did not see results, which caused frustration for both of them, and so their relationship suffered So she decided to go to a counselor because she was really stressed out!
She called me yesterday devastated! She says that Pandora box was opened! She has been discovering things about herself that are shocking!!! diagnosed with something called ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder … which is some chemical disorder in the brain, where there is part of the brain a bit lazy, this is why she needs to put 25% to 50% more effort in anything she does, her fidgety, clumsy nature is her body’s way to wake up that part of her brain… and because she lived with this all her life without even being aware that there is something wrong her brain started creating ways to fit in her environment, which explain her creativity.. She said all of a sudden she felt all her life was rolled out in front of her like a carpet, and many memories rushed into her brain, things started making sense to her. She saw the light!
I was shocked at hearing this, simply because I realized that many of the people I have known in my life might be ADD, but no one even knows! That Elsa has lived in Amman all her life and no one even thought about the possibility of something like this. When she was clumsy, she was punished, when she was not focused she was scolded, she lost many friends and opportunities… and she always punished herself because she thought if this is repeatedly happening to her it must be her fault…. It saddens me that she had to go all the way to England (where she lives now) to realize that she is ok, and that it is not her fault, that she has a problem and she can improve herself.
In Jordan, we don’t have support of any sort, mostly because as a society we are still emotionally immature, we are ashamed of our weaknesses and of our humanity… we are so governed by the hush, 3eib , 7aram and what will people say… so if someone is sick with cancer lets say, they have to go through the motions and feelings alone even though if they were in a support group things would be much easier for them and their families because they will know they are not alone, and hearing other stories and tips does provide help. The same happens with everything else, ADD, divorce, death, and as silly as it sounds but knowing you are not alone is very helpful
Sorry to hear about your friend and I really hope she gets better soon.
I had a classmate at the university with the same issues. He was a really bright guy and just couldn't stay put for more that several minutes. During class, he would come for the first 10 minutes, then just get up and leave. Toward the end of the session, he would come waltzing back in. We later worked at the same company. It was then that I learned of his ADD and that he was on medication for his illness. It was like night and day the difference between him being off and on the medications.
With mental health issues I have not seen any support mechanisms in place in Jordan. I feel that these issues are usually sweept these under the carpet and not tackled head on….could be due to lack of financial resources of family to seek out help or that there are not qualified places to treat such illnesses.
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It is not an illness, it is the way her brain functions, and in this case it has a name…, her case is very mild and nothing to worry about… She is an interesting person, and will always be intersting
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
I'm certain that my younger brother has ADD. I've been begging him for years to get tested for it, but he refuses! He says that he doesn't want to be “drugged”.
A related issue about testing for things like ADD in Jordan is dyslexia. A relative of mine teaches at the Amman Baccalaureate School and she once told us a story about a kid whom the teachers suspected had dyslexia, so they asked him to come for some tests. The kid came with his mother, and as he was being tested (involves reading texts through colored filters), his mother suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably. It turned out that as she was looking through the test texts with her son, she realized that she too was dyslexic, and throughout her life she was led to believe that she was very stupid since she had trouble reading and keeping up in school.
I think Jordan should introduce a national program for ADD and dyslexia testing in schools, just like the excellent program to provide vitamins and free lunches in schools. Looking after students with special needs should be an integral part of the education process, but is unfortunately lacking in most of the developing world.
-Ziad
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well… at least they started being aware of it…it is kind of hard to deal with something like this… but we always have to think positively.. these people are different and interesting how boring life would be if we are all the same?
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Wow mariam this is a very informative blog thx for sharing:) I am so sorry for your friend but i guess i nearly have the same problem maybe i just forgets or hate memorizing:P
MIRACHKA
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That's a great post Madas, and one that needs to see more attention. I know a lot of people who suffer from learning difficulties such as ADD, dyslexia, etc, and I find it harrowing that there isn't enough awareness to help them learn to
make the best of their conditions.
-Roba
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As much as I believe that such disorders seem to be overdiagnosed and taken as excuses for many behaviors in the US, I have to say it is better than being underdiagnosed. I speak from experience. I am sure that if the person I know was noticed early to have a similar disorder, he would have excelled way better in school and in life in general. The problem was with ignorant teachers and more importantly ignorant classmates. The family can't do everything on its own if the child goes to school 6 or 7 hours each day.
-iyas
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I'm Hareega…
I agree with Iyas that the disease tends to be overdiagnosed in the US, but probabaly underdiagnosed in Jordan. The things to remember about ADD or ADHD are
** Most patients have either a normal or a high IQ.
** For 20% of children the syndrome persists thru adulthood.
** symptoms need to occur in at least 2 different places. Some kids might asppear hyperactive in only one place like school due to other factors.
Support groups for ADHD in Jordan?? looool. I don't think they have active support groups for any health disorder in Jordan, i might be wrong but i've never heard of any. If we're gonna have support groups I suggest we'd have some for other disorders like alcoholism which is not uncommon in jordan.
Ziad it's so painful to see intelligent people with only one problem like dyslexia being labelled as stupid. Unfortuantely many teachers don't know what dyslexia is!!
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Oh no. ADD is to over diagnosed in the U.S. and schools give out the pills to children like candy. Its important to recognize the disease but its more important to find a way to cure it without pills. For example, in our school system in the Los Angeles area, so many kids are diagnosed with ADD. Instead of goiving them pills, the school system should make classes smaler so teachers can give more attention to their students and work with them one on one.
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That was me, Linda
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The ingenuity of South Park made a whole episode about this.
-me
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Hi ya banat (Mira and Roba) I have not known of this ADD till Else told me, and i has very mixed feelings about it, i mean on one hand the first thought was that she is sick, but then i thought that nothing will change, it is something that has been with her all her life, but we did not know about, only now somethings make sense… it is not like discovering that something has developped in your body and you will need to deal with, this is there and has always been there. On the other hand, This is why we love her, this is why we always thought she is special, he 3ajgha, her energy, her creativity and now maybe certaint things can improve for her, she could become more organized, she would come up with a system to run her life… i think she is great the way she is, and i really dont want her to change into a boring person!
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Hi ya shabab (Iyas and Feras)
Well now here i am getting a more scientific outlook on the whole thing, Maybe you are right, it is not that of a big deal. She was never treated as stupid, because she was an A student on her life, only now we realised that she had to study 50% more than many of us had to keep that range! she is also very successful in her career.. she was always a special person and she always stood out in a postive way… always great things happened to her… the thing is now they wanted her to take medicine for it, and she is very reluctant, she thinks that maybe she should learn to develop a system to remember things, Agenda, post its, maybe Alternative things that would help stiumulate her memory…
Thanks for the information though
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Yup, I guessed it was you
As it is said in Arabic khair il omour il wasat, which means ( thre best choice is the middle) or the best thing is moderation… I think you are right it probably is overexagerated here, and underestated in Jordan…. but well… now Elsa knows she can chose what is est for her .
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wallah?
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Hey.. it's amino.. I've read about ADD when i was in 5th grade, and i believe no arab parent would have a conversation with other arabs and say “Oh, i went to the Shrink, and he said i have ADD”.
Many illnesses in the middle east are ignored just because they're afraid of “What will the people say!”
For example, when my best friend commited suicide, in the very same day when i was crying, my mom told me “Don't cry, she's going to hell aslan.”
And then the choas began, when i reached the bottom with my depression, and i wanted to talk about it with someone, of course my depression wasn't acknowledged, my parents only warned me “Ma biddi asma3ek bet2ooli hadi il kelmeh again” - “Depression” was the word.
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