June 29, 2005
ADD (Attention Dificit Disorder)
Elsa, is a very close Jordanian friend of mine, we have been friends from as far as I can remember… This girl has always been a little bit on the eccentric side…. Good hearted, sweet, creative, artistic, bohemian, talkative, moody, clumsy, day dreams, gets bored quickly, has a short span of attention and absolutely no attention to details… as a result, she could never keep friends, they would get tied of her constant movement at all levels and cant keep up with her, say she drives them mad, and soon enough they disappear form her life. Therefore, she would jump from one experience to the other, involve herself completely and then move on to the next. This is why she is very interesting. The few friends she could keep were kept because they chose to stay; they did not mind her recklessness and could put up with her eccentricity or they loved her enough to stay.
Lately she has been telling me that things were going really bad with her husband, she literally drives him nuts, by repeating certain behaviors over and over again, she never closes things, she is constantly losing her stuff, does not remember where she put important papers, she is unorganized and it is no big deal to her. And because this all look so innocent she could not understand his anger at her all the time, his inability to cope with these small things. he is very detail oriented and organized and structured and leads a simple life,, he kept repeating things over and over again, and did not see results, which caused frustration for both of them, and so their relationship suffered So she decided to go to a counselor because she was really stressed out!
She called me yesterday devastated! She says that Pandora box was opened! She has been discovering things about herself that are shocking!!! diagnosed with something called ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder … which is some chemical disorder in the brain, where there is part of the brain a bit lazy, this is why she needs to put 25% to 50% more effort in anything she does, her fidgety, clumsy nature is her body’s way to wake up that part of her brain… and because she lived with this all her life without even being aware that there is something wrong her brain started creating ways to fit in her environment, which explain her creativity.. She said all of a sudden she felt all her life was rolled out in front of her like a carpet, and many memories rushed into her brain, things started making sense to her. She saw the light!
I was shocked at hearing this, simply because I realized that many of the people I have known in my life might be ADD, but no one even knows! That Elsa has lived in Amman all her life and no one even thought about the possibility of something like this. When she was clumsy, she was punished, when she was not focused she was scolded, she lost many friends and opportunities… and she always punished herself because she thought if this is repeatedly happening to her it must be her fault…. It saddens me that she had to go all the way to England (where she lives now) to realize that she is ok, and that it is not her fault, that she has a problem and she can improve herself.
In Jordan, we don’t have support of any sort, mostly because as a society we are still emotionally immature, we are ashamed of our weaknesses and of our humanity… we are so governed by the hush, 3eib , 7aram and what will people say… so if someone is sick with cancer lets say, they have to go through the motions and feelings alone even though if they were in a support group things would be much easier for them and their families because they will know they are not alone, and hearing other stories and tips does provide help. The same happens with everything else, ADD, divorce, death, and as silly as it sounds but knowing you are not alone is very helpful
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