Dedicated to women who are decieved by their own trust
As I was listening to our beloved Nancy Ajram.. I heard a song that made me think of a conversation I had with my mother (among all people you would think about when you hear Nancy!) the song was saying that it is 7aram he betrays her trust… and if this was love then God help her, if this was a sin, then she repents, and if this was her destiny then she will endure the pains… A very sad song!
We were at the embassy in Amman few months ago. When we ran into this very shabbily dressed young lady… I looked at her because the emotional reaction on my mother’s face (my mom is very good at not showing emotions) was very unusual. I looked at mom inquisitively when the girl hugged her… her name is Kristina… I did not have the chance to talk to her because another lady came and ushered us all inside…. The lady told us proudly that Kristina’s mother was her friend and she is a true martyr!
I could barely wait to get into the car to ask mom. She told me that, Maria was their friend; she died few years ago a miserable death. She fell in love with her husband when they were young, got married , gave up her life to come with him all the way to a place called Jordan. Mom said with a sigh, “Ya reit ma ijat” I wish she never came.
With time, her husband turned into an abusive sociopath! Who made her life a miserable hell… she developed an ovarian cancer after 2 daughters and many years of marriage. He did not want her to have an operation, she will not be able to have kids, and cancer ends with death anyway…what is the point? (I remembered an incident when I was younger. My parents had to go visit some “people”, where my dad had literally to beg the husband to allow him to perform an operation on his wife Maria)… Dad performed the operation, but Maria has lost her appetite for life… last few days of her life, her death bed was moved to the living room, while her room became the room of another wife. Her two bracelets (which were promised to Kristina and Salma) were taken from her hand as a wedding gift to the new bride….her two daughters Kristina and Salma were reduced from daughters to servants…The only cosolation in her last days was that all the foreign ladies that belonged to the same community in Amman stayed with her to help her die despite of the husband. Mom told me detail above detail of that heart breaking story… by the time she finished…we were both crying in the car! ( we kind of have this habbit, wecried together when we saw all about my mother, which is one of my most favorite movies in the world)
Something mom said will always stay with me “ I can not understand, how a human being is capable of mistreating someone else’s trust like this….It is the biggest sin of all, because you kill someon's faith” Maria put her life in this man’s hands, because she trusted him…
Maria died… Alma and Kristina were never allowed to finish high school…until Salma got married to a decent human being, who brought sunshine to her heart… They live in between Amman and Europe now, she has a daughter who is called Maria. Salma managed to convince the father somehow to allow Kristina to come and live with them…and that is why she was in the embassy fixing her papers. Maybe luck decided to finally smile to that poor creature I saw…
Unfortunately our society does not punish sick individuals who are the protagonists for many several stories… he is still a respected pharmacist in his community… but what is truly sad is that this is the story of many women around the world…women who are decieved by their own trust.
What a story.. touching.. It makes me sad, but mostly angry at how such behaviour is allowed to occur. It's something to think about, That's one of many stories and other people are living out similar stories this very hour, and very few know.
Allah yekoon fe 3onhum..
strong post .. great blog..
Samir
http://echo4224.blogspot.com/
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Thank you Samir for your comment. It is lucky that very few individuals are like that…that this is not the common behaviour… as you said, Allah yikoun fi 3onhom.
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
Unfortuantely thses stories are not unheard of in Jordan. I know a man who got married to a woman (child) when she was 17, and she developed ovarian cancer at the age of 22. What the man asked doctors to do was mention that the cancer had been present for more than 5 years, i.e. before they got married, so in his own words “etjawaz wa7deh ma3toobeh”, so he can easily divorce her without giving her any of her rights.
Many such stories are there, just spending one week in the labor room or gynecology clinic of any public Jordanian hospital would tell much about the living situation many of our women are going thru.
Nice Article by the way!
Hareega
(http://livejournal.com/users/)
Thanks… i would not call it nice… bas you are right… they are totally not unheard of! what can we do… life. What does Hareega mean, if I may ask?
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
Your portray of the utmost human injustice, I read it yesterday and again to day, same rage feelings of anger swept over me .I have seen and heard a lot in my life but nothing close to what your blessed mother narrated .
In such a case, should the aggressor get his deserved punishment in this life? And how? At least by the same society he lives and thrive respect from ,by his peers ,at least a social and moral boycott.
I am overwhelmed by anger for knowing that such tragedies do exist, so close to home and the deranged aggressor gets away with it .My only consolation like yours, is to see the two daughters gets a fare chance in this life ,Inshallah they will .
But seriously madas, it is no more sociology 101, what do you think of a fare condemnation for this beast in a form of a man..
Years ago, in East Africa, through my job I meet a family that had to fight a crocodile, which took hold of the leg of their 4 years old son , and was dragging the boy to the water, both parents fought immensely (you can imagine how)to succeed freeing the boy who lost his mutilated leg. Your story prompted this memory to my conscious .It shows my sense of comparison, I am angered. If we cant get the right punishment, at any rate how can we stop something like this from happening again. You gave me a lot to think about.
(http://livejournal.com/users/nadimsolo)
itzawaj wa7deh ma3toubeh? immoh il ma3toubeh! sorry but these types of creatures make me angry.
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lol… I dont know who you are but you have given 20 minutes of a good laugh! so thank you
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
lol hareega literally means Fire. Sometimes it's used to describe a very hot situation , or a very attractive girl lool.
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I bet it is the very hot babe
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
hmmm… i usually dont like to write about these stories, because throughout my life i found myself many times in situations where i was trying to convince people we are not savages …However, Maria was one of three women i have known personally, and who shared the same fate… my parents know more women like this, and their friends told them about yet other similar stories…not all of them died, some of them fought and even won…these stories are not unheard of as Hareega wrote before. I am sorry to have brought such an ugly memory… but sometimes… I dont know…we can be an irrational society blinded by double standards… anyway…
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
Well, I always why u always meet such cases ?
It is really sad, but u want the truth, men SUCKS so bad
Nader
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some men, and some women too
(http://livejournal.com/users/madas)
Seroquel xr….
Seroquel xr….