Driven by Curiosity…

I called a friend of mine in Dubai to wish her a happy new year. Her father in law passed away couple of months ago in Jordan and her mother in law moved in with them in Dubai. I was asking her about things and she told me that her mother in law just finished what is called her 3ideh, and she is as relieved as someone who got out of prison!

Before i go further in the story, let me explain what is 3ideh. In islam when a woman either gets divorced or widowed, she can not get married for 3 monthly periods, to make sure she is not pregnant. I asked Abir shocked if her mother in law was planning to get married, and she answered me,no but basically they asked many sheikhs and they told them that a woman is NOT allowed to leave the house for 3 months in case of divorce or widowhood!

I was APPALLED to hear that, but what really HORRIFIED me is the fact, that a perfectly intelligent and liberal woman like Abir would actually believe in something like that, satisfying herself with an answer like “I asked many sheikhs” without even questioning. I was wondering if a smart, highly educated person like her would fall in this trap, who would blame the million of other women around the world who believe in many faulty ideas just because some sheikh said that. In all cases, and since i believe that when you have doubts in religion, there is one and only book you refer to and that book is called the QURAAN! and since i do not believe that i have to put the understanding of a sheikh between God and me, because if Quraan is for everyone, i should be able to understand it as much as any sheikh would… I decided to look this issue up.

I found the answer in Surat al baqara, verse number 228, where is says “Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. Nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs, if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day…” Then i decided to look up all known books of explaining the Quraan, (jalalein, Ibbn katheer,…etc)just to see what they say, and they all agreed on the fact that a woman should wait 3 periods before she get married again. and if she is an older woman who does not get her period anymore, or a married woman who has not consumated the marriage then she does not have to wait at all… So where did all these sheikhs come up with this fatwa? i have no clue!

It made me wonder about today with the scientific advancement a woman can know if she is pregnant in a matter of hours… does she still have to wait thrree months? I wont answer that for everyone, but i made up my mind on the answer for myself.

so my advise to everyone is dont accept anything without questioning… i suppose this is one of the reaosns we have our brains to think and question and decide.

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