Driven by Curiosity…

I have not written in a while. Everyone I know left either for the summer or for good. In principle, I thought that I did not want to leave till August, because I did not want to leave Yasser alone too long. I just didn’t think it is right to leave him to work alone while I am having fun else where. But after two days ALONE (he has been in Riyadh ), I decided that it is absolutely RIGHT and acceptable to go elsewhere. Yesterday, I have not spoken to anyone, and after few hours of silence, I said something aloud and my own voice startled me! at that point I knew i should be of here!

People always struggle with life here, but everyone I know says, it is the best place to make money, and once you have enough you get the hell out of here…. But is it really worth it? Actually do people ever know what enough is? One of my neighbors is an example of this situation, the husband is quite ok here, she on the other hand…well she stays here for couple of weeks, and then leaves to Beirut till she feels the husband will stray and comes back again… And so on. The problem with them is that they both love the life style all the money is giving them in Beirut.. The big house, the expensive cars, the fancy jewelry, shopping in France… who wouldn’t’? so she finally decided to try and live here, because she could not live without the money! and the husband is on the verge od straying!

I always thought of myself as low maintenance person, but you just have to do certain things if you want to fit in. I never cared about appearances, but just going out with ladies here, and seeing how they dress and what they accessories with… the way they check each other out, the way they judge…it simply makes me feel inferior and less…and I hate this; I can imagine how silly I am sounding! But the truth is having expensive things makes someone feel elegant and self confident!and if money can buy happiness then it damn well should… why else are we suffering here? so I have finally decided to buy a GUCCI bag! (Yeah, the price of one of those can feed two families in Africa for a whole week if not more)… yeah, i am a silly human being and i love it! I just jope my dad will not read this entry, i think he will be disappointed in my reasons….

On a different note. just finished the fourth DUNE book, they are actually very good, I discovered i love science fiction and fantasy…the lord of the rings, star wars, things like that!I would read the rest of the series one of these days, but not now. I will start a book called the Namesake by the Indian writer Jhumpa Lahiri. Her books are so sweet, so smooth, so mellow. I honestly think she really deserved the Pulitzer Prize for her book the interpreter of maladies.

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It has been very quiet; I don’t know what makes people more nervous, the news or the no news. I guess with situations like this, people see things that do not exist, and as i said before, it goes down to not having information

Jeddah is packed these days, it is the season of immigration to Jeddah, ( I just remembered a book called season of immigration to the north by tayeb saleh, it is actually one of the best books I have ever read, if you did not read it, jump to the closest book store and get it) where was I? Yes, people in Saudi, the ones who do not travel, come to Jeddah to spend the summer, it is relatively more open than other places, that means women dont have to cover their hair, also it has restaurants where you see other people, women do things alone…etc. And the Sea gives it some very special atmosphere.

We went to have dinner yesterday, these days wherever we are, we only talk about one thing! it is always interesting to hear what people think.

I have talked to different types, the conservative, the religious, the open, the exposed. Everyone agrees that this is wrong. It is good to know that what is happening does not represent anyone. It only represents few people with hidden agendas. What bothers me is that they give bad picture about all Muslims, which is not fair, because it is very easy to generalize and think everyone is the same.

On a different note, I was watching spider man with one of my little friends, he is less than 5 years, I asked him if he liked it and he said “yeth, becauthe it hath kithing!” ( yes because it has kissing!) I thought that was the cutesiest (cutetht!) thing ever.

My job hunt is still going. After my experience with the sheikha, I realized that one of the problems here is the exploitation! I mean just because I am a woman, and my husband is working and earning money, they belive the only reason I want to work is to get out of the house. And so they give women the minimum! but they have absolutely no problem to waste money on their gold plated desks… things are more important than people here. but again, this is only one situation,and i dont want to generalise, I know people who are perfectly happy here, and I know people who fully respect other people here. the issue is that sometimes it gets really really boring, I mean i started feeling that i lost 6 months of my life for no reason at all. For those who commented on my story with exploitation, I tell them, i did what i felt was the right thing but it was one of the most difficult decisions in the last few months… I declined again!

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