Was in Egypt
Cairo ‘s vivaciousness never ceases to surprise me.
I was attending a conference about a potential research on Arab identity. I won’t get into the details of the conference itself; however I would like to write about a question that came up there.
The question of whether women should share their salaries with their households.
A scenario
Let me build a scene to shed some light on how this could look from an Arab woman’s perspective…
A new bride. Everything is new, the experience of living with someone, the experience of being away from her sheltered home for the first time…. When there is still awkwardness between them, the groom suggests they open a joint account. She accepts willingly.
They open a joint bank account, and every few months, money get transferred to the husband’s account, which is the main account from which everything gets paid… the house loan, the cars, the credit cards…nothing gets discussed, because it is one of those issues that missed the opportunity of discussion,… A few months into the marriage, it is even awkward to think about it.
Things don’t go well. Legally, woman does not get anything except for mu2akhar…
That was the empty side of the glass.
What does grandmother say about this issue?
I remember on the eve of my aunts’ wedding. I walked upon a closed conference she was having with her mother… I didn’t hear much, because I was shooed out of the room as soon as I was noticed, but I heard my grandmother say… “His salary is yours and your salary is yours! Don’t be a dumb ass and give him your money… you hide your money, use it only when it is absolutely necessary.” My aunt saved her money for a few years; she eventually used it to help buy a house for her family…
Ironically the house is owned by the husband… when they went to register the house, it was not appropriate for her to go, so he took care of business.
Yet another perspective
A few years ago I was in the States; I met two friends who were getting married. I remember the conversation we had, because I blogged about it then. But in a nutshell, before they got married they were required to attend a few sessions with the church… and they realized that they had not discussed the financial bit… they also realized that they did not see eye to eye on this issue… They did get married eventually, but not before they put a comprehensive plan on who should pay for what. With the two incomes, they live a very chic life … and they are very aware that they can’t keep their lifestyle, if one of them stopped working, or if one of them decided not to share their income….
So should wives share their income?
Absolutely! But they should have a mechanism that guarantees everyone’s rights… since the laws in our side of the world are not doing a great job at that!
Two pictures of the Nile
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